Monday, December 29, 2014

Best of 2014: The worst of everything

We've already talked about my favourite books, movies, TV shows, and music for 2014. Now it's time for the opposite end of the scale: the stuff that brought nothing but pain and suffering, the stuff that months later, you still wish would go and die in a fire. Thankfully, there was nothing on the music side of things as horrific as last year's Blurred Lines (or at least nothing that gained as much hype), and the worst thing I could think of on the music spectrum this year was the Frozen soundtrack, and that's mostly because I work in a primary school and so I had to hear it on a NEVER ENDING LOOP FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR. Anyway, on with the rest of the terrible things that should die in a fire.

I Know Who Killed Me
Oh, God, this film. This film was hands down the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. For starters, it features double Lindsay Lohan. And not in a The Parent Trap kind of a way. It was basically non-stop torture porn, and at one point she tries to duct-tape her severed fingers back on. I'm really not sure who picked it for #snarkathon, but they should be banished to the Shame Corner forever. Worst. Worst worst worst.

Platoon
Sweet mother of Jeebus, I hated this film. I actually stopped watching part way through because I was crying and fighting the urge to throw up, and life is too short for that. But the parts I did see? Were either incredibly brutal or incredibly boring. Probably a lot like the Vietnam War itself, if the truth be told, but I just couldn't take it any more.

The True Believers series
I'd heard good things about these books on Goodreads and at an industry event I went to. So when I found that they were only like $2 each, I bought all four of them on a whim, figuring I'd need books to read on the plane to London. Instead, what they brought me was rage and the desire to reach into my Kindle and punch fictional characters in the face. Rape is thrown around like it's nothing, all the main characters are in possession of magic vaginas that cure bad boys of their badness, there were non-stop cliches, and it made me want to throw things. Avoid at all costs. (Although they DID prove to be excellent #stupidbookisstupid fodder, so...there's that)

The Selection
This book seems to be pretty polarising. People either love it or they hate it, and I fell into the latter camp because it made me rage like nothing else. It's billed as a dystopian novel, but it's essentially the teenage girl version of The Bachelor in which you get to marry a prince. The writing was clunky, the characters were two dimensional, America Singer is possibly the dumbest girl to ever walk the pages of fiction, and don't even get me started on the fact that the "contestants" are made property of the state and have to prove their virginity in order to compete for the prince's heart. Basically, the world in which the book is set (which was poorly created) is riddled with misogyny and uuuuuuuuuugh.

Her
Reviewers have been raving about this movie all year, but I mostly thought it was gross. I mean, a guy falling in love with his computer operating system and ending up IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH IT?!?!?! What the hell even is that? It was just...no. No no no no no.

Charmed season 8
I didn't see this when it aired (and I have yet to post my thoughts on it. Or several of the previous seasons, for that matter...), but I'd heard that it wasn't great. Yeah, people really weren't kidding about how not great it was. It seemed to drag on forever, and then suddenly the show wasn't getting renewed and they had to try and tie everything up in a handful of episodes, and it just........ugh. Snore.

Get Him to the Greek
I really liked Russell Brand's character in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. So I thought that him reprising the role here would be a good thing. Yeah, no. The added Jonah Hill factor was too much for me to deal with, and I gave up on the movie about 20 minutes in. Which, given that I made it through the whole of I Know Who Killed Me, is really saying something.

Winter Be My Shield
I bought this book in a Kindle sale for $1.99. And it may only be me who had problems with it, because the vast majority of reviewers on Goodreads seemed to love it. But for me? It was indescribably boring and dragged on for a thousand years. Seriously. I'd hit the "next page" button about fifty times on my Kindle and have only read about five pages. There's endless rape and torture, paedophilia and slavery. There's an incredibly complex society that's never properly explained, and very little world building. Essentially, it was about 350 pages of people wandering about in the snow and making big plans, and just over 100 pages of stuff that wasn't mind-numbingly boring but WAS kind of squicky.

In short, these things caused me to have one of two reactions:
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Sometimes both at once, now that I think about it...

And there we have it. What things are on your WORST OF EVER list from this year?

K xx

2 comments:

  1. Ha, I haven't seen Her because I refuse to. The whole concept of it freaks me out. I mean, really, I won't even talk to Siri, so the idea of falling in love with a computer? Ick.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I felt your pain with I Know Who Killed Me and I guess the only reason we got through it was by watching it for #snarkathon because I would not have watched this one till the end otherwise.

    ReplyDelete

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