Thursday, October 9, 2014

Look ma, no safety net!

Previously: I flew to London and it took 5eva. 

So after having gone to bed at 10pm in a state of slightly delirious cannot-keep-my-eyes-open jetlag, I woke up at 5.45am with Defying Gravity stuck in my head on an endless loop. So obviously, I did what any self respecting blogger would do - told Twitter about it. Then I checked my emails, read a couple of blog posts, and passed out for another three hours. And obviously had nightmares about my teeth falling out because that's what sleep deprivation does to you.

I went downstairs to find that my little brother had decided that Jetlagged!Kirsti wouldn't be capable of locating the Lonely Planet guide to London on his bookshelf, so instead he'd placed it in the pantry in front of the bread. What, you think I'm kidding? BOOM:

Yup. That happened.

Then I spent the better part of an hour trying to figure out how to get the sim card out of my phone. I ended up having to Google it and watch a video on Youtube. You know how you get the sim card out of my phone? YOU PUSH IT IN AND IT POPS OUT. A two year old could work that shit out. But not me. Sigh. Then I realised that if I was going to make it to a 1pm walking tour of the City of Westminster, I had approximately 45 minutes in which to shower and get ready. Obviously, I spent twenty of those minutes on Tumblr, because I make good life choices.

Anyway, because of my EXTREMELY GOOD LIFE CHOICES, I ran out the door at 12.30 with no time to panic about navigating around London on my own, speed walked the 10 minutes to the Tube station, managed to get straight on a train (it was even going in the right direction! Good job, me) to Kings Cross, changed to the Piccadilly Line at Kings Cross (and got straight on ANOTHER train going in the right direction), and made it to Covent Garden station by about 12.53pm. Which gave me seven minutes to get to the tour. That would have been plenty of time to get there AND buy a bottle of water/snack if it hadn't been for the fact that half the lifts at Covent Garden station were out of order and there was a queue ten deep for the lifts.

So I took the stairs. All 197 of them. And it was as horrible as you'd imagine. (It doesn't sound like that much, but it's apparently the equivalent of a 17-ish storey building. So...yeah.)

Still, I made it to the top and found the tour by 12.59pm because I AM A STAIR CLIMBING CHAMPION. However, I had zero time to buy water or food and therefore spent the rest of the afternoon fighting the urge to drink the Thames. My walking tour itself started thusly:

Guide: "Hey guys, how're you going? As you may have guessed from the accent, I'm not from London. I am, in fact, from Melbourne."
Me: "...of course you are."

Anyway, the tour was full of random historical information and one annoying Canadian guy who wouldn't shut up about how pointless royalty is and also the following sites:
  • Trafalgar Square
  • St. James' Palace
  • Buckingham Palace
  • St. James' Park
  • The Horse Guards parade ground
  • 10 Downing Street
  • The Houses of Parliament
  • Westminster Abbey
After the tour, I quickly found the nearest Prêt à Manger because I was freaking STARVING, and rapidly shoved some food into my face. Then I headed across the road to the National Portrait Gallery where I saw some truly ridiculous paintings:
Disturbingly thin legs for days
Apparently Queen Caroline was the cornucopia
of the Hanovarian line because she had tons of kids. Ew.
Babies wearing stupid outfits make me happy.
Lord Kitchener? OR. David Bowie with a killer mo?
That night, C and I headed to dinner at a Peruvian restaurant near his house. It was a little on the pricey side for a regular Wednesday night dinner, but they had this, so it was a total win from my perspective: 

And then I collapsed into bed. Because jetlag, yo.

Next up, I try to fit more than one day into a post. And also go to the Tower of London. 

K xx

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