Yes, I know it's Monday and I should be talking about movies. But Honey Badger don't care because I had three days of back-to-back Eurovision awesomeness over the weekend, and I feel the need to talk about it.
Unlike 2012 and 2013, blogging AND tweeting all three nights seemed far too much like hard work. Tweeting won out. And now that it's all over, it seems like far too much hard work to recap every single act from the three nights. So instead? I'll just give you my favourites and my "WTF EVEN IS THIS??" picks, in no particular order because ranking things is hard.
There's a reason why Conchita Wurst won. I wasn't sure about the song when she performed at the semi-final, but it turns out it's a total earworm and I've been singing it ever since. Clearly, the crowd felt the same because at the final, you could hear the crowd singing along with her during the chorus. I really want it to be the theme song for the next James Bond movie.
They didn't make the final, sadly, but this is pretty much everything you could want from Eurovision - cracked out insanity, that element of I-have-no-idea-what's-going-on thanks to it not being in English, sparkly costumes, ridiculous dance moves, and a catchy tune.
Look, they're basically the Maltese version of Mumford and Sons, but there's a reason why Mumford and Sons are so popular. This may rapidly turn into an emergency dance party song.
This dude wins the prize for staring down the camera while singing. No matter which camera they used at the final, he was all over it. Plus, it's hella catchy.
Sure, they're all about twelve years old but this one is just so catchy that I suspect it will be on high rotation for quite a while.
The Wiggles meet Eurovision! The dancing is particularly fabulous.
As if I could pass up a back up performer who's basically rolling around in a giant hamster wheel.
I have no idea what the song is about, but I was on board the instant I saw that girl on rollerblades in the background. Who knew you could make it look that much like ice skating?!?!? INSANITY.
WTF EVEN IS THIS??
There's a reason why you ended up with a mere two points, France. And their dancing reminded me a lot of Pop! from Music and Lyrics.
Oooof. This is on the WTF list for a completely different reason to most. The song is really catchy, and the performance by the back up dancers is amazing. But who goes to Eurovision with a song about child abuse and domestic violence?!?!?!!? O.o
A fake circular piano??? I can't even. Add in the fact that the guy reminds me a lot of Jon Lovitz - who creeps me out - and the fact that the girl is doing some weird crossover arm nonsense and I came out of this one very confused.
How on earth did they get on stage with their ponytails joined together like that??? The presence of non-Jedward twins = NOPE.
I don't even remember what the song was like. I was too busy being concerned about my burnt out retinas. Add in an awkward shot of her groin, a keytar, and a really pitchy opening and I was solidly on the nope train.
Sweet mother of Jeebus, Poland. There are children watching this show.
I have literally no idea what in the sodding hell was going on here. If you'd told me they'd been rescued from a commune outside San Francisco, I would honestly not be surprised.
I actually loved this one when it aired, but the more I think about it, the more insane it is. It's clearly influenced by Game of Thrones. But why on earth does she rip her hair off???
So there you have it. Another year of Eurovision over. And we're heading to Austria next year!
Did you watch Eurovision this year? Who were your favourites and who was on the top of your WTF list?