Monday, March 10, 2014

Movie Monday - Buffy the Vampire Slayer


It's no secret around these parts that Buffy is (was?? It's hard to tell post-Snark Squad) one of my favourite TV shows. But some of you may not know that Buffy actually started way back in 1992 with a truly so-bad-it's-a-little-bit-good movie. And yesterday morning, we watched it for Snarkathon (which you should totally join us for).

Reasons why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is awesome:
1. Kristy Swanson. Sure, she's no Sarah Michelle Gellar, but the sass is strong with this one.
2. Lefty's death scene. AMAZING.
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3. The training montage. Who doesn't love an inspirational training montage?!
4. Killing a fly with a thumbtack.
5. Paul Reubens. OMG.
6. All the "before they were famous" moments, including Hilary Swank, Ben Affleck, Ricki Lake, and Seth Green (although almost all his footage ended up on the cutting room floor).
7. Luke Perry. By far the best romantic choice Buffy's ever made.
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8. David Arquette. Hilarious.
9. The amazingly 90s costumes.
10. The prom dress-leather jacket-boxer's boots outfit that Buffy wears during the big fight at the school dance. (And apparently the guy she's kicking in the face is the only bit of Seth Green that we actually see)
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11. Rutger Hauer.
12. The principal issuing detention slips to the dead vampire students.
13. Donald Sutherland. He's paedo-tastic for the vast majority of this film, but it should not be forgotten that a critically acclaimed actor starred in something this bad.
14. The cheerleading uniforms. They feature CULOTTES.
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15. The scene on Pike's van. AMAZING.
16. The fact that Buffy gets cramps when vampires are nearby. Hilariously useless Slayer power.
17. The ridiculous "choosing a theme for the dance" scene.
18. It's Joss Whedon (or at least it's his idea. He left the project part way through because they weren't going the way he wanted them to)

Plus, the following quotes:
- "Pike's not a name, it's a fish."
- "Are you...calling me...a man?"
- "Dribble dribble, shoot shoot, get that ball through the hoop hoop!"
- "You bear the Mark of the Coven." "What, that big old hairy mole? Ew, I had that thing removed."
- "You're floating! Come on, man. Get away from here."
- "This is a naked place!!"
- "You ruined my new jacket! Kill him a lot."
- [after losing an arm] "We're immortal, we can do anything!" "Oh yeah? Clap."
- "You got a C-plus? I can't believe I cheated off of you." "Excuse me for not knowing about El Salvador, like I'm ever going to Spain anyway."
- "Okay people, they're psyching you out. Let's not be so defensive out there, Okay? Now what do we say on the court, repeat after me; I *am* a person, I have the right to the ball."
- "All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die."
- "Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me."
- "Get out of my facial!"

Have you seen it? What did you think?

K xx

4 comments:

  1. HOW FUNKY IS YOUR CHICKEN. Oh man I love this movie so much and it has been a ridiculously long time since I've watched it. This post has convinced me I need to rectify that immediately sometimes this week,

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  2. So one of my favourite tv shows is "freaks and geeks" and they have cheerleading too - and they have a a "how funky is your chicken" chat as well. Was that really a thing? And WHY? WHY WAS IT A THING.

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  3. I HAVE NO IDEA. It's even more staggering when you're stuck in "why are cheerleaders necessary?" land.

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