Friday, December 20, 2013

Best of 2013: The worst of everything

Right. We've talked about the best stuff I've read/watched/listened to this year. Now let's talk about the flip side of the coin. You know, the stuff that months later we're all still complaining about because it was just SO. INCREDIBLY. BAD that you don't want anyone else to subject themselves to it. Yeah. That stuff. Let's talk about that stuff.

Robin Thicke - "Blurred Lines"
Let's just jump right to it, shall we? This song is the biggest piece of misogynistic bullshit to hit the radio airwaves in years. It should be destroyed immediately, and Robin Thicke should be shot out of a cannon with no safety equipment as punishment for its existence. Don't even get me started on the video clip. And to think, last year I was complaining about Flo Rida's Whistle. That song has NOTHING on Blurred Lines.

Oh my God, this film was awful. I hated every single character in it with a fiery passion, it wasn't funny, and I really wish I could have the two-ish hours of my life back.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 #8 - Last Gleaming by Joss Whedon et al.
Volume 7 of the season 8 comics was pretty damned awful. But it was this, the final volume of season 8, that I hated most of all. I'd waited a long time to read it because I couldn't bring myself to actually spend money on it after how completely insane volume 7 was, so I had to wait until it became available at the library. And then I hated it with such a fiery passion that I actually screamed and threw it clear across the room after I read the last page. I've heard that season 9 is better, but I just can't bring myself to start reading it...

Agents of SHIELD
Look, it's not so much that this is bad so much as that it's really really boring. Maybe my expectations were too high, but it's Marvel and it involves Joss Whedon, so I was kind of expecting greatness. Instead, I got something that was decidedly mediocre. I don't care about any of the characters, the storylines in the episodes I've seen have all been decidedly average, and Coulson seems completely out of character when you compare him to the MCU. When I can reach the end of an episode and be so bored that I tuned out completely within the first five minutes? Your show is meh-tastic.

Apocalypse Now, Redux
I'm pretty sure this was the longest movie on the face of the earth. I only watched it because it's on the AFI 100 Years 100 Films list, and I really wish I could have the millionty hours of my life back. Because in addition to being indescribably bored (really, Coppola? An extra FORTY NINE MINUTES OF FOOTAGE was necessary??), I ended up completely and utterly traumatised because NO ONE WARNED ME ABOUT THE BUFFALO SCENE AND MACHETES TERRIFY ME. I was literally dry heaving while watching that scene.

Eyre House by Cait Greer
We've already talked about this one. I don't really have anything to add that I haven't already said!

Land of the Lost
I should have known that I'd hate this film when I discovered that it starred Will Ferrell and Danny McBride. Unfortunately, I decided to watch it anyway. Big mistake.

Graceling by Kristin Cashore
I wanted to like this. I know a lot of people who absolutely loved it. I, unfortunately, was not one of them. There's a difference between a strong female character and a female character who hates everything feminine and all the implications of her gender. Katsa grated on my every nerve, and her "NOPE, NEVER GETTING MARRIED OR HAVING KIDS OH WAIT THAT GUY LOOKS HOT WITH HIS SHIRT OFF SEXYTIMES AHOY!!" was beyond ridiculous.

Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special
Sigh. I had such high hopes for awesomeness after it was announced that David Tennant and Billie Piper were coming back for this. Instead, what we got was boring, retconned, hit-the-giant-reset-button typical Moffat nonsense, complete with penis jokes and irritating one dimensional female characters. I think the thing that I was most disappointed about was that it wasn't a celebration of a show that's been running for 50 years. It was a celebration of The Guy Who's Been Running The Show For The Past Few Years. And once you add in the complete lack of communication between David and Billie, I was firmly on Team Why Did You Do This To Me, Moffat? Thank God for that unexpected appearance by Tom Baker, or the whole thing would have been a complete nope-fest.

In short, these things made me make this face:

So. What are your worsts from this year?

K xx


  1. Have you seen this parody of Blurred Lines:
    Completely hilarious.

    I can't think of any worsts - I think I've wiped them all from memory.

    1. YES. I love that version, mostly because the tune is incredibly catchy and I can sing those words when the original gets stuck in my head.

  2. I'm so glad you felt the same way about Agents of SHIELD. I thought there was something wrong with me because I was SO BORED.

    Also, Blurred Lines? Actual worst.

    1. I keep seeing people raving about AoS all over the place, and every time I do, I wonder what I'm missing...

  3. I didn't realise for months time that the song I had issues with was the same one so many other people had complained about, because after listening to it fully once or twice and being disgusted, I would switch off the radio before the first couple of bars had finished, and never hear what it was called or who it was by. It's horrifying that it's been so popular and allowed on mainstream radio and CD compliations.

    I really wanted to like SHIELD but I just didn't care. If Whedon was going to resurrect Coulson, I wish it had been for a story that deserved him.

    1. Turning it off after the first couple of bars is an excellent life choice. I think it's one of those songs that becomes popular because no one really listens to the words properly. Like Pumped Up Kicks...

      And I totally agree about SHIELD. With a budget like it has, it should be much better than it is...

  4. I HATED Bachelorette and everyone told me I was wrong, that is was just sooooo funny. Fuck them. Thank you.

    1. I honestly can't believe that anyone found that movie funny. At least we have each other and our mutual disgust <3

  5. I loved Graceling but it would have been so much better if the main character wasn't so anti everything womanly. "Ew having kids, no way! Marriage! HORROR! I'm a strong woman and need NO ONE." If it wasn't for that the book would have been perfection.

    Dr. Who special was very disappointing and very boring.

  6. I haven't seen the Doctor Who 50th and now I'm worried! Oh Moffat.



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