Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Do you hear the bloggers sing?

Previously: it took me 16 hours of flying in middle seats to get from Orlando to Phoenix, and it was the uber-suck. On the plus side, Gina was there to meet me at the end of it.

My first day in Phoenix was a pretty quiet one, on account of having spent sixteen hours in planes/at airports the previous day. Instead, Gina and I hung out on the sofa watching the Food Network while her kids played and said hilarious things and were generally adorable. Gina introduced me to the wonders of Sandra Lee, and we both snorted with laughter at the facial expression of the woman who had to try Sandra's cocktail creation.

Other things that happened:

  • I flipped my hair over the back of the sofa and straight into a burning candle. Which kind of defeated the point in Gina lighting the candles in the first place.
  • Kid #1 telling jokes: "What do snakes eat for breakfast? MAC AND CHEESE!!" Me: "Well, who WOULDN'T want mac and cheese for breakfast?!"
  • I fell in love with Gina's shower. Seriously, you guys. It's the best shower EVER. Made better by the fact that the shower at our hotel in Orlando barely did more than trickle in a pathetic way, even with the hot tap on full.
  • Gina: "I kind of want to take you to Outback just because it would be funny".
  • We watched the pilot of Firefly, and Gina's husband JD said "What??" a lot. 
  • Me: "So I saw an episode of that show, Pawn Stars..." Gina: "WOW. That sounds SO much worse in an Australian accent..."
  • Kid #3 wandered in with his blankie and his thumb in his mouth, changed the channel on the TV, hid the remote control, and looked at me all "What you gonna do about it? Huh?" and then ran away.
  • I gave Gina a packet of Timtams, and over the course of the day, all three of her kids ran into the room, went "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" and then cried when told they were for grown ups. 
  • We watched Paula Dean deep fry chicken and serve it in a giant scone/biscuit/thing with a pasta salad made with tinned mushrooms and a whole bottle of storebought Italian dressing. We both had the same grossed out expression by the end of it. 
  • I spent a LOT of time going "Holy crap, this house is enormous". Because seriously. It is. 
The following day, we headed out to the Desert Botanical Gardens, where I promptly discovered that I'd left my wallet behind and had to be all "Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiina, can you pay for me to get iiiiiiiiiiiiin??". Pure class, that's me. Once inside the grounds, Kid #2 endeared himself to me forever by dancing around Gangnam Style style while singing the Indiana Jones theme music. Because why the hell not?! 

Anyway, the gardens were really cool and filled with sharp pointy things and educational opportunities. 

Four Seasons themed art - Spring




After we ran out of cacti to look at, we headed over to the Hole in the Rock for a picnic lunch, a mosey around, and a look at the view. Oh, and on the way there, Kid #2 (who, I should mention, had held my hand about half the way around the Botanic Gardens of his own accord) piped up "Hey Mommy? Next time we go here, can your friend NOT come with us?", which caused me to giggle non-stop for about five minutes. But I digress. THE VIEW:

Once we'd all looked at the view and all three of the kids had looked at me like I was crazy for taking pictures of a plastic velociraptor (Yes. I forgot my wallet, but remembered Clever Girl...), we headed back down to the car and headed over to JD's office to drop the kids off. Because Gina and I had important places to be, yo. 

What important place would that be? A screening of Les Miserables. At 3.30 in the afternoon. With Eileen and M. And it was freaking AMAZING. Why? Because we were the only people in the theatre, so the following things happened:
  • We gave each of the songs a letter grade as they happened
  • We turned "Do You Hear the People Sing?" into a sing along. The best part is that it happened organically, much like in the film. Eileen started, then Gina joined in, then M and I jumped firmly on the bandwagon of "THIS IS A THING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN", because obviously. 
  • The added-in-so-it-could-be-nominated-for-the-Best-Music-Oscar song started, and I stood up and went "Well, time to pee because this song SUCKS". 
  • Crying during Eddie Redmayne's performance of "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" was actively encouraged.
  • We established that "Bring Him Home" is awful and should be pitched at least an octave lower than it is. 
  • M informed us that she would like to lick Eddie Redmayne's freckles. 
  • We gave Aaron Tveit's death scene a round of applause.
  • It was quite possibly the greatest thing ever. Internet friends FTW.
And once we'd finished our private, snark-filled screening of Les Mis, we headed over to Outback because Eileen and M thought it would be equally hilarious to take the Australian to Outback. There was a hashtag and everything, because we're cool like that. 

I called bullshit on about 90% of the menu (apparently Alice Springs is known for its quesadillas. WHUT), and then when it came time to order and the waitress couldn't understand my accent, the other three started giggling. Which then progressed to full blown hysterics when I asked for American cheese (only because she listed them so quickly that I couldn't remember the other options). The poor waitress was horribly confused.  

Then I ate my burger with cutlery because it was enormous and I'm a fucking lady well brought up, and Gina lost her shit all over again:
Stolen shamelessly from Gina's blog
Several hours and one shared Chocolate Thunder from Down Under later, the evening came to an end. Albeit with plans to meet up the following night for Mexipalooza. 

Up next, Gina and I get up at stupid o'clock for a very special reason.

K xx


  1. That still stands as one of the best girls-night-out experiences ever. I doubt the record will be beat any time soon.

    1. I'm not sure that it will EVER be beaten.

  2. Holy shit - Gina lives in Phnx?! I live in Tucson. We're neighbors! Sounds like a fabulous trip - and I would love to see Les Miz snarked but since I cry too much it's not a good idea. And I loved Empty Chairs and hated Bring Him Home (which is one of my favorite songs!)

    And no one eats a burger with silverware (cutlery - love English!)

    BTW - Jojo here.


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