Sunday, May 19, 2013

The most wonderful time of the year, part 3

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's finals night!!!!!!!! :D

If you missed the semi-finals, you can check out my posts here and here. You can see all the acts on Youtube here, and all pictures are sourced from the individual country pages here.

We're starting with a choir singing an anthem written by some of Sweden's best known artists. And there's some kind of flag parade going down, like it's the Olympics or something. Only most of them are wearing white, because IT'S EUROVISION. Also, it's taking all the fun out of how insane the outfits will be. For shame, Sweden. FOR SHAME.

And now, on with the performances! I'll do proper stuff for the Big Five and Sweden, and a couple of lines for the rest, as they've already performed in the semis. On with the show!!

France - Amandine Bourgeois
She's wearing an insane fringed leather dress and it's kind of blues-y. Couldn't be more different from last year's French entry, but I'm kind of liking it. Although she sort of reminds me of Veruca from Buffy, so now I don't know how to feel. Gah. Nicely rock-y and very minimalist in terms of visual effects. A good start to the night!

Lithuania - Andrius Pojavis
I think I like this better than I did in the semi-final. The lyrics are still kind of insane though.

Moldova - Aliona Moon
Time for the insane costumes to commence!! I still hate her hair with a fiery passion. She brought her A game though, so at least the singing didn't suck. 

Finland - Krista Siegfrids
Oh God, here we go. I'm pretty sure her shoes have gotten even more insane in the past few days. Honestly, I'm a little disturbed by how catchy this song is. Bonus points for the onstage costume change! 

Spain - ESDM
Bagpipes. Which, you know, Spain is totally famous for... She has crazy sparkly eyeshadow going on, along with excessive use of the wind machine. It's kind of rock-y and I think I love it. Plus, their guitarist is wearing a bowtie. Bowties are cool. Her dress looks a little bit like it had an unfortunate encounter with a lawnmower. But it wasn't a sad tragic ballad, so...WIN.

Belgium - Roberto Bellarossa
I didn't think it was possible, but I think he's singing with his eyebrows even more than he was the other night. Wowsers. I still don't really understand why his back up dancers are so corporate-looking, but I think the song has grown on me. 

Estonia - Birgit
Apparently she's preggers, which at least explains her slightly insane cone-like dress. Although I don't know why the footage starts in black and white and then switches to colour... 

Belarus - Alyona Lanskaya
I think the cameraman's drunk - the footage here is totally insane. Also, she's sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly flat and it's killing me. 

Malta - Gianluca
I think I like this more than I did the other night too. Maybe he seems more relaxed or something? IDK. He's still insanely squinty from smiling though. The bit where he went out to interact with the crowd was AWFUL though. Seriously pitchy. 

Russia - Dina Garipova
The repetition of "ified, ified, ified" at the start of the song is still crazy awkward. Still, it's a song about peace, and Eurovision goes crazy for that shit. 

Germany - Cascada
I can never work out how I feel about Cascada, because a lot of their songs end up as Body Pump tracks... ANYWAY. That is one HELL of a shiny dress. SMOKE MACHINE. She also seems a little flat and it's making me cringe. It's a pretty catchy song though, and I'm chair dancing which always results in bonus points, but usually leads to songs getting almost no points in the voting. So...there's that. 

Armenia - Dorians
Still going with no. Too much double denim. And hand close ups. Someone really needs to talk to that cameraman. 

The Netherlands - Anouk
I still can't tell if she's crazy pitchy or if this song is just legitimately insane. It kind of sounds like it belongs in a moody teen movie involving a boy with a crooked smile and someone with paranormal powers. 

Romania - Cezar
Cezar, you are the personification of Eurovision. I love you. And I'm kind of obsessed with your song. And you nailed that performance.

UK - Bonnie Tyler
Oh, Bonnie. If you were singing Total Eclipse of the Heart, I would be totally on board with your presence here. Sadly, you're not. At least it's an improvement on last year's Engelbert Humperdinck?? Wow. Bonnie, honey. This is pretty awful. The UK *really* doesn't want to win, do they?! It's entirely possible that this is WORST than Engelbert. I didn't think it was possible. She HAS broken out the wind machine and a levitating stage, so I guess that gets her like half a point... 

Sweden - Robin Stjernberg
He's dressed in all white and has Jedward hair. Things are off to a good start. The stage is flooded with smoke and he has back up dancers doing acrobatics. The amount of make up he's wearing is slightly terrifying though. His song's not bad, but it's crazy repetitive. Fireworks AND a curtain of sparks falling from the roof. He definitely brought his A game! 

Hungary - ByeAlex
Ugh. Still hipsters, still a boring song, still all kinds of nope. 

Denmark - Emmeline de Forest
I still love this song and her Ronan Keating lookalike on the fife and side drum. AND they just released sparkly confetti in the arena! Denmark are going above and beyond tonight. 

Iceland - Eythor Ingi
Thor! I didn't notice last night, but he has awesome jewellery going on. And he just did a seriously hard core "throw the mic stand out of the way" move. Awesome.

Azerbaijan - Farid Mammadov
This is still awesome, and I still don't understand how the guy in the box is doing all the stuff he's doing. Because it's hella impressive. 

Greece - Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis
Oh Greece. You're still insane and confusing and brilliant. Love every second of it. 

Ukraine - Zlata Oglavich
The eight foot tall man in a Braveheart costume is still insanely confusing. She appears to have kicked her dance moves up a notch since the other night. Although she still can't really move in her silly mermaid dress. 

Italy - Marco Mengoni
The last of the big five. He's singing in Italian, so I have no idea what's happening. It's all very minimalist, and I'm not sure what to make of it. Yet another impressive set of eyebrows, but at least he's not using them as back up performers. I'm kind of loving his blue/green/teal suit though! 

Norway - Margaret Berger
Her hair is as awful as it was during the semi-final, but the song is still awesome. And her dress is pretty great. 

Georgia - Nodi Tatishvili & Sophie Gelovani
Time for the only duet of the night. I think the song's grown on me? I think. I can't really tell, to be honest. Maybe if I wasn't distracted by her insanely sparkly dress I'd like it better.

Ireland - Ryan Dolan
The final song of the evening brings us tattooed shirtless men in very shiny trousers. I'm still a little disappointed that it's not Jedward for the third year in a row. Sigh. The song's not terrible, but the crazy dance moves are hilarious. 

And we've got last year's winner, Loreen, as the interval entertainment. Awesome! Although I'm not quite sure why she's got wings... Oh. Because she was going to get hauled up into the air. OF COURSE. And an ABBA tribute, although no actual ABBA. Sad panda. 

On to the voting! Hurrah, awkward satellite linkups from all over Europe. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!! I'm not going to go through the individual results because we've be here FOREVER. So let's cut straight to the good stuff.

The winner is...*drum roll*...DENMARK!!! It's ever so slightly disappointing because she was the favourite, but at least it was a decent song. And hopefully this means more people playing the fife into the future!! Still, I'm sad that Romania weren't higher up the points than they ended up... 

See you all in Copenhagen next year!!

K xx

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