So it occurred to me part way through today that I should have watched Dogma this week and added to the blasphemy of last year's Easter Movie Monday - The Life of Brian. As it is, we're taking a break from the blasphemy with one of my favourite completely ridiculous movies.
Reasons why Miss Congeniality is awesome:
1. Sandra Bullock.
2. Solar plexus, nose, instep, groin.
4. Stashing doughnuts in her dress.
5. The opening scene in the playground.
6. Michael Caine.
8. The makeover in progress.
9. Candice Burgen.
10. Gracie's ridiculous outfit for the talent show.
12. Playing the water glasses.
13. Heather Burns.
|Too right it is. It's my birthday. Source.|
15. Gracie's repeated faceplants.
16. Fighting over the crown.
Plus, the following quotes:
- "Starting early today?" "Yeah, I'm gonna get chip faced."
- "Do all the women at the Bureau have to wear those really masculine shoes?" "Oh no, I get these made special by the guy who put the tattoo on my ass."
- "Oh my God. I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park..."
- "Those better be candy dishes."
- "My mother wouldn't buy them for me, she said they were Satan's panties."
- "It's light beer, and she's gonna throw it up anyway..."
- "I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, and I'm armed! Don't mess with me!"
- "Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date." "That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket."
- "What, no armoured car?" "That would be in my OTHER dress."
- "I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up." "Especially without their knowledge."
- "Operation "Thong" has commenced." "Why don't you stun-gun yourself?" "I knew she'd like that one."
- "What is the one most important thing our society needs?" "That would be harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan. And world peace!"
- "Look I know what I'm gonna do. I haven't done this since high school but it's like riding a bike." "You are not having sex on this stage!" "I didn't know that was an option."
- "See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Don't I look pretty?" "It takes a very secure man to walk like that."
- "In Hawaii, don't they use aloha for, like, hello and goodbye?" "So?" "So if you're on the phone with somebody and they won't stop talking, how do you get them? You say, 'Okay take care, aloha' don't they just start over again?"
- "If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced."
- "The last time I was this naked in public, I was coming out of a uterus!"
- "Eyebrows. There should be two."
- "Ten out of eleven years my girls were crowned. The year we lost, the winner was a deaf-mute. You can't beat that."
Let's just go ahead and pretend the sequel never happened, shall we?