Thursday, March 7, 2013

Socially awkward, party of one

So if you know me at all, you'll know that I hate the phone pretty much more than anything ever. Hello, I'm a blogger. I work best in text format, you know? Of course you know. You guys have seen my vlogs.

So today something happened that means I can show you how to react like a normal person, and not the way I did. It's for your own good. And probably mine...

Anyway, the phone rang while I was using the exercise bike this morning. I managed to actually get OFF the exercise bike, which was a step in the right direction because usually me rushing to do such things ends like this:
Source

So I get to the phone and this happens:

Me: Hello, Kirsti speaking.
Random Old Lady: Yes, I'm phoning to confirm a booking?

Now, this is the point in the conversation where any normal person would say "Um. Booking?". But no, not me. Partly because I was brain addled from staggering off the exercise bike and to the phone, and partly because my parents are going away this weekend, and I foolishly assumed it was in regards to the booking for their accommodation. So:

Me: Oh. Okay?
ROL: Hello?
Me: Hello.
ROL: Hello? Yes, I'm calling to confirm a booking.
Me: Right.
ROL: So what do I need to give you?
Me: Um?? Is this about [insert town here] this weekend?
ROL: Oh, no. The booking's for the 25th.
Me: The 25th? Are you sure?
ROL: Yes. And my name is [insert name here] and my insurance policy is [insert number here].
Me: Oh. Um. I think you might have the wrong number.
ROL: No. The card said to ring this number.
Me: Is it possible that you dialled wrong?
ROL: No.
Me: Well, you've phoned a private residence.........
ROL: Oh. It's not a hospital?
Me: No. No, it's not.
ROL: Oh. But I phoned the number on the card!
Me: What was the number?
ROL: [insert number that's out by one digit here]
Me: Oh. You've phoned [insert actual number].
ROL: I've phoned what?
Me: [insert actual number].
ROL: Oh. WHOOPS. Sorry. Bye!

So yeah. That happened. Public service announcement: when you get a strange phone call, don't just assume that it's relevant to you...

Who hates the phone as much as I do?

K xx

24 comments:

  1. I do, actually. I hate the phone, the only people I call willingly are my Gran and my aunt everything else I do only under duress. This may be the reason why I have postponed calling the foundation contractor (these words seem wrong but whatever) to talk about what needs to be done on the house until today. I really plan on doing to today. Ugh.

    You're hilarious though and far more polite than I usually am when there's a misplaced called at home, which happens quite often.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think if it hadn't been an old lady, I might have been a little less polite! But yeah, I totally put off making phone calls for as long as humanly possible.

      Delete
  2. PHONES ARE AN ABOMINATION.

    It always cheers me up when I hear about people who dislike them as much as I do. There's just something unsettling about not being able to see a person as you're speaking to them. Do not like.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES. I'm happy for them to stick around for texting. But phone calls? NOPE. DO NOT WANT.

      Delete
  3. Phew! Glad I'm not the only one. If I can get out of calling someone (even family and friends who like me) I generally will. Also, I had a weird one the other day: "did you have a car accident a while ago?" "err, car accident? I don't think so" - I think the onus is on the caller to ensure they've contacted the correct person before they start saying random stuff. Or my fault for even answering the phone in the first place! :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got a bunch of phone calls when I first moved to Canberra from some woman who was looking for her son. Whose name was Noodle. I wish to God I were joking. All I could think was "Dude. I'm 25 years old, and I'm doing a post graduate degree at ANU. I have never met anyone named Noodle in my entire life, and I'd like to keep it that way..."

      Also? Congrats on handing in your PhD!!! :)

      Delete
  4. Yeah, the phone sucks. I mean, I'm always awkward, but the phone increases awkwardness exponentially. Why hasn't the world switched over to doing things entirely through email yet? Emails and texting. The future is now, people!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EXACTLY!!!! Why do people insist on maintaining antiquated technology?? Sigh.

      Delete
  5. I generally end up giggling for no reason.

    Or pausing awkwardly waiting for something to happen.

    Or making a joke that requires a facial expression. It would be HILARIOUS if the person could just see me. But then, I'm usually hiding in my closet because my kids are loud, so... no.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is why texting is the greatest invention of ever. That is all.

      Delete
  6. I hate the phone so much I usually lead with, "WRONG NUMBER DAMMIT." It saves time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha, good plan!! I generally embrace the "If a number isn't in my contacts list, let it go to voicemail" approach. But sometimes that's worse because then you have to phone people back, and UGH.

      Delete
  7. I hate the phone more than anything. It takes me a good 20-25 minutes to be brave enough to make a phone call. True story.

    Also, this is exactly something i would do and it is also why I had someone calling my phone number for the first year I had my phone in Australia asking for Dan. No matter how many times I had to put out that no Dan lived near me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I kept getting phone calls on my US number while I was there from someone who apparently owed money the person who used to have my phone number. I chose to not answer any of the phone calls, which is why they started texting to let me know that I'd have the money soon. Awkward turtle...

      Delete
  8. I was going to comment on this, but after writing far too much here I decided to make it a full post on my blog: http://homeofweird.blogspot.com.au/2013/03/the-joy-of-telemarketers.html

    Thanks for the inspiration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha, that's excellent! Although I don't have the patience for telemarketers. I just tell them we're on the do-not-call register and that I'm going to report them.

      Delete
  9. I don't love the phone, but I have to use it a lot for work. I'm awkward too, talking at the wrong time and getting distracted by things around me.

    Face-to-face is the best - I can read people's feelings... I usually misunderstand humour and sarcasm on the phone for some reason! Frankly, I pity anyone who calls me ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Remember that one time I was duty curator and accidentally sang "Where is that piece of paaaaaaaaper????" down the phone to someone who'd rung up looking for information? Yeah. That happened. So yes, I pity anyone who calls me too.

      Delete
  10. I'm with you. Stupid Alexander Graham Bell ruined everything. We could all just be writing each other lovely letters if it wasn't for his tomfoolery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RIGHT??? I mean, text messaging can stay on account of it's convenient to be able to tell someone if you're running late. But phone calls can go to hell.

      Delete
  11. Me: Is it possible that you dialled wrong?
    ROL: No.

    I like that the lady wouldn't even consider that it was her fault and that the hospital didn't accidentally print your phone number on their cards. Also, This is why I don't answer phone numbers that aren't saved to my phone (and stopped answering my parents phone when I'm there and I'm not home).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, both of those are probably sensible decisions!!

      Delete
  12. Hahahahah. Hilaaare!

    I, too, hate the phone. Yup. Loathe, even. I just CAN'T with the phone. Bah. If I can't see a person face-to-face, then I'd prefer to email or text them. Phones suck.

    (Okay, I think I've done enough blog-post-catching-up for one night, hee! Two eppies of The Office on ch.11 are calling my name!)

    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Phones DO suck. A lot. When I first started at the museum, the guy I was reporting to asked me to track down some old man in the middle of nowhere South Australia. He didn't have the guy's phone number and thought he might be dead, so just told me to look up the surname in the White Pages and ring people with that surname from the area. I "forgot" to do it until he eventually decided to do it himself. MWAHAHAHA.

      Delete

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