Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Dessert Day: the "It takes HOW long?" edition

So Deidre came over yesterday for yet another installment of Dessert Day. And in keeping with our previous Dessert Days, the weather was HORRIFIC. Seriously, you guys. Every single Dessert Day is either a millionty degrees, insanely humid, or pouring with rain. I don't know how we manage it, I really don't...

ANYWAY. We started out making the dough for this chocolate and cinnamon bread thing. In typical Dessert Day fashion, we kludged it a little - my local supermarket only stocked milk powder in 2kg bags, so we left that out, we didn't have any guar gum, and we used Schweppes soda water instead of San Pellegrino, because we're not made of money, yo.

As we went to clear off the bench and get started, Deidre found the magazine section from Sunday's newspaper, which had Ryan Gosling on the cover. Obviously, he became a Dessert Day spectator:


So we made the dough, which resulted in much "Hmm"-ing and "Seriously? TWO TABLESPOONS OF YEAST??"-ing and "Cream cheese???"-ing, and set it aside to rise for an hour. Then we got started on cooking the quinoa for these savoury treats while we started putting together the ingredients for these mint chocolate chip cookies. At which point we promptly discovered that the box of baking soda I've been baking with since approximately 1997 was no longer with us. So while Deidre took care of the quinoa, I marched the three blocks back to the supermarket in search of more.

Discovery of the day: my supermarket only stocks baking soda in 1kg boxes. A KILO OF BAKING SODA. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be passing that thing down to Little Miss A in my will...
Deidre and me with the box of baking soda. Totally to scale.

ANYWAY. So I got back and after we spent five minutes cackling hysterically about how much baking soda we had, we progressed with the cookies. They're pretty easy, and if you live in Australia and are deprived of Andes Mints (I had a packet of their baking chips, purchased at a Walmart in rural Virginia), I'm fairly certain you could replace them with 1 cup of dark chocolate chips, and replace the vanilla with mint essence, and end up with more or less the same result.

Once the cookies were in the oven (I highly recommend using a cookie scoop if you have one. It would have taken FOREVER otherwise), we went to check on the bread dough. Despite its two tablespoons of yeast and having been placed in a warm spot for an hour, it hadn't risen at all, leading us to the conclusion that in the future, we're going to prestart the yeast no matter what a recipe says. BECAUSE OF REASONS, DAMMIT.

Then we read the line in the recipe that said "Place covered bowl of dough in refrigerator overnight" and went "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, NO." So we proceeded to the next step, and rolled it out into a square. We cut up the cold butter as ordered, put it in the dough, folded it up, and rolled it out again, all as directed. The result - rather predictably - was this:

MMMMMMM, BUTTER CHUNKS.

Thankfully, the cookies came out of the oven at about that time, so we left the dough to think about what it had done while we taste tested them:


Word to the wise: the walnuts seem like a weird addition to a chocolate-y, minty cookie, but DO NOT LEAVE THEM OUT. They cut through some of the sweetness.

Ryan approved:
Yes, we're mature adults. 

Back to the incredibly confusing dough. We covered it in a truly frightening amount of cinnamon, then crumbled the chocolate ganache over it, then plonked on a bunch of chopped almonds:
Yes, that's the butter showing through the layer of cinnamon...


Then we rolled it up, which led to much "Oh God, is this even going to work??"-ing, and let it pull itself together for a few minutes while we whipped up the cheesy quinoa bites. Which, I have to say, were really quick and easy and turned out much better than I thought they would!
Sadly, this was the best photo I took of them

WIN.

Back to the dough, we spent a couple of minutes pondering what the hell "Gently coil roll" meant, and settled for folding it into three and smushing it into a loaf pan. We then checked the next step of the recipe, and went "IT HAS TO SIT FOR HOW LONG????". 90 minutes, it turned out.

*sigh*

So we went and ate our cheesy quinoa bites in front of the final episode of Pride & Prejudice, followed by a decent chunk of An Ideal Husband before putting the bread in the oven. FOR AN HOUR. Which allowed us to finish An Ideal Husband with five minutes to spare.


The recipe then said to leave the bread until completely cooled before you cut it, but LOL NOPE.



The final verdict on all the things:
Cheesy quinoa bites: could easily have other vegetables added to them. And probably more cheese.
Mint chocolate chip cookies: ZOMG, AMAZING.
Chocolate cinnamon bread thing: Tasty, but a ridiculous amount of work (and sitting around waiting for it to do things that never happened) for the ultimate end product. Also, a very confusing recipe. Also also, with all that cinnamon and a ton of nuts, my brain kept expecting it to contain apple rather than chocolate. But that's probably just me.
An Ideal Husband: Far more serious than either of us remembered. Also, whatever happened to Minnie Driver?
Ryan Gosling as a Dessert Day witness: He fell over once or twice, but didn't judge us for squealing about how gross it was to touch raw egg. So I'd call that a win!

K xx

11 comments:

  1. This was hilarious! What a good looking one man audience you have there! ;)

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    1. He really was. I feel like we need a passing parade of good looking one man audiences at future Dessert Days!

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  2. I love your stick figure drawing, particularly truly capturing Deidre's hair :) Also, more cheese makes everything even better.

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    1. Valid point. Extra cheese is never a bad plan!

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  3. Seriously where did minnie go? And also, the seriousness of the ideal husband totally threw me for a loop. Also, also, after watching that with you while I was feeling crummy, I watched Emma. Jeremy Northam is a winner.

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    1. EXCELLENT choice!! And I'm almost convinced that the UK got a far more serious version of An Ideal Husband than the rest of the world...

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  4. Hahahahah. I loved everything about this hilarious post.

    Dudes, Ryan TOTALLY botched your bread. Saboteur!

    :P

    I love the stick figure/baking soda diagram LIKE WHOA. Bwah!

    So, here's what I'm thinking: I make this amaaaazeballs chocolate cake. It's kind of almost souffle-ish but...not. But it's like all melty and, yet, solid when it comes out of the oven, and it only takes, like, half an hour to make. I KNOW, RIGHT?! So you could totally come over during one of the Eurovision semi-final nights on the Fri and Sat they happen, I make the cake, and we enjoy the chocolate while enjoying the hilarity and crazy of Eurovision.

    Thoughts? :D

    xo

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    1. Sounds promising!! (I suck at replying to comments recently, hence it being three weeks later...)

      And Ryan really did botch the bread.

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  5. This is probably my favourite baking recap ever--although I would like to try the quinoa bites. Recipe? :)

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    1. I just realised that you linked to them, but Blogger won't let me edit my comment and you've already gotten the email notifying you of my comment so if I delete it and rewrite it you'll get another email but there will be only one comment and you might be confused.

      Am I the only person that stresses about these things?

      Delete
    2. Haha, I definitely stress about stuff like that too. You're certainly not the only one! :)

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