Okay, first of all? It seems appropriate that today's installment has a couple of Oscars under its belt. Secondly, I have a confession to make. I've never been a big fan of Disney movies (except for Pirates of the Caribbean...). I know, I know. I think I saw most of them once as a kid, and just thought the idea of sitting around waiting for some dude to show up and make your life perfect sounded really freaking boring, so didn't bother watching them again. #TeamHeartlessCow4lyfe I saw today's installment for the first time in about 1997, and saw it for the second time on Thursday night.
While I may not have seen the movie a hundred times, we DID have the soundtrack (on cassette. OBVS), so I can sing along to the entire thing word perfect. Does that make it better??
Reasons why The Lion King is awesome:
1. The soundtrack. Damn you, Tim Rice and Elton John. It's your fault that I Just Can't Wait to be King has been stuck in my head for five days.
2. James Earl Jones as the voice of Mufasa. You can't go wrong with James Earl Jones as the voice of ANYONE, really.
3. It's kind of like Hamlet, when you think about it. Except, you know, without the super depressing ending.
4. Timon and Pumbaa. They're phenomenal.
6. Hakuna Matata.
7. Rowan Atkinson as Zazu.
8. The opening scene.
10. Scar yelling at Zazu to stop singing It's a Small World. I hear you, partner. I hear you.
11. That it led to this:
13. Scar's hyena minions. Especially Whoopi Goldberg.
14. The stampede and everything that goes along with it. It's pretty incredible.
15. Making faces behind Zazu's back.
17. Rafiki. Dude can do martial arts, yo.
18. All the reasons.
Plus, the following quotes:
- "Hey, Uncle Scar, guess what?" "I despise guessing games." "I'm gonna be King of Pride Rock." "Oh, goody." "My dad just showed me the whole kingdom. And I'm gonna rule it all. Hehe." "Yes. Well, forgive me for not leaping for joy. Bad back, you know." "Hey Uncle Scar, when I'm King, what'll that make you?" "A monkey's uncle." "You're so weird." "You have no idea."
- "Let me get this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she wants to eat him. And everybody's okay with this? DID I MISS SOMETHING??"
- "We're gonna fight your uncle... for this?" "Yes, Timon. This is my home." "Whoa. Talk about your fixer-upper."
- "Your son's awake." "Before sunrise, he's *your* son."
- "Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?" "Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know." "Oh. What are they?" "They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh... got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing." "Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away." "Pumbaa, with you, everything's gas."
- "There's one in every family sire. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions." "What am I going to do with him?" "He'd make a very handsome throw rug." "Zazu!" "And just think, Whenever he gets dirty you can take him out and beat him."
- "I'm surrounded by idiots."
- "Well, I was first in line, until the little hairball was born." "That hairball is my son. And *your* future king." "Oh, I shall have to practice my curtsy."
- "Life's not fair, is it? You see, I... well, I shall never be king. And you... shall never see the light of another day. Hmm-hmm-hmm, adieu." "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?"
- "What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?"
So. Are y'all going to kick me out of the Born in the 1980s Clubhouse for not loving Disney?! I hope not. I'd be lonely... Also, am I the only one who can't stop laughing at the William and Harry thing? Because I can't. Sorry I'm not sorry.