Friday, January 4, 2013

Melbourne to LA: the "things I wanted to tweet" edition

So I'm currently sitting in LAX, killing time waiting to board my flight to Washington. I spent a good chunk of the fourteen-ish hour flight over here wishing that I had internet access so that I could tweet all the thoughts I was having. Not having internet access in a tin can over the Pacific, I obviously wrote them all down so I could share them with you later. YAY.
  • I'm currently watching The Bourne Legacy and wishing Kim was here. What up, JRenner?
  • Uuuuuuuuuugh. The kid in front of me NEEDS to shut up.
  • Wait. The kid in front of me is actually TWO kids. Twins. One year old twins.
  • The girl next to me is wearing a parka and a blanket. I'm in a t-shirt.
  • Oooooh, THREE choices of food? What a novelty!
  • Um. Dessert is some kind of cheesecake thing that has actual CAKE on the bottom of it. WTF.
  • Reasons why the window seat sucks: people who just swivel in their seat to let you out, forcing you to clamber over them.
  • Great. One of the twins in front of me has shat itself and the smell is killing me.
  • 20 minutes later, said child's parents still haven't noticed. 
  • FORTY minutes later, said child's parents finally changed its nappy.
  • New theory: all under 5s should be placed in a soundproof booth at the back of the plane.
  • People who talk and laugh in the aisles while the cabin lights are down are EVIL.
  • Goddammit, I'm so hungry. 10 hours with no food? Not cool, Virgin Australia.
  • These children. I AM GOING TO STRANGLE THEM. They never sleep at the same time.
  • Just pulled my blanket out of the plastic. It's crusty. Excuse me while I freeze all "night". 
  • Oh my God. One of the parents just taught the twins how to open the window shades.
  • As a result of the above, half the plane have turned into vampires and are hissing at the sunlight.
  • Fuck, I hate the window seat. Need to pee, but the girl next to me is asleep on her tray table. Am trapped.
  • Watching Brave has made me want to watch The Decoy Bride again.
  • Oh God. Now the OTHER twin has shat itself. KILL ME NOW.
  • Huh. Only 15 minutes for the parents to realise that time.
  • Amount of sleep I have had on this flight: ZERO. Amount of time I have to spend in LAX: 5 hours. UGH.
  • Benefit to the window seat? Seeing the sun rise over the Pacific. 

  • Things I will never understand: why there are only ever 5 staff working the immigration desks at LAX.
  • My hair smells like airplane. Ew. 
  • Things I will never understand: how people can get to the front of the security line without getting out their ID.
  • Things I will never understand: how the full body scanners detect metal IN MY BACK.
  • Oh my God. I have clean teeth for the first time in almost 24 hours. It is heaven. 
  • There are billboards for Les Miserables all over this terminal. Awesome. 
I have approximately an hour and a half until my flight to DC boards. I plan on spending it eating and taking advantage of the free wifi. Hey, a girl has to prepare herself for further internet deprivation somehow!! 

K xx


  1. The window seat sucks, I agree with you. And small children on a plane...just NO!

    But Yay! for Megamind :)

  2. The window seat is my only hope for sleep. MY ONLY HOPE.

  3. HA I wanted to "lol" at all of these but I'm at work and that could potentially be awkward to laugh loudly. However, I also dislike the window seat. I can see it's advantages (such as the sun set and sun rise. SO PRETTY) but I like having the aisle.

  4. Even sexy Renner does not make up for the flight from hell. I thought sexy Renner could make up for everything, but apparently not. So glad you made it (mostly) in once piece babe. Shame about your sanity.

  5. Ugh. Too bad about all the poo.

    At least you'll be at your destination soon! You can de-smell your hair and sinuses!!

  6. Sorry I'm not sorry for loving the window seat, I can't stand sitting on the aisle side and being bumped by EVERYONE on their way to the toilet.

    Also: I watched Brave before Decoy Bride, so the entire time that I was watching DB I was picturing Merida #parentingproblems


  7. Love the written-down tweets. LOOOVE! Flights are eventful in the weirdest of ways. ;-) xx


Leave me a comment and I'll love you forever (except for spambots...)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...