Thursday, January 31, 2013

No technical difficulties, just laziness

Once again, I AM still alive, despite the lack of blogging. I have so much stuff to tell you guys that I literally have no idea where to start. Plus, I don't want to tell you about all the Orlando and Phoenix stuff without telling you about the Washington stuff properly.

I fly out to LA - and, by extension, Melbourne - tomorrow afternoon, and I'm already dreading the whole having-to-write-three-major-assignments-before-semester-starts-in-a-month thing.

In the meantime? I'm hanging out with Gina. Yesterday, that involved a sing-along viewing of Les Miserables and a trip to the Outback Steakhouse. Obviously, I was suitably impressed by how authentically Australian it was:
Most flattering photo EVER.
I promise I'll hurry up and update you guys properly soon. For realsies.

K xx

Monday, January 28, 2013

Movie Monday: The Castle

Happy (belated) Australia Day, kids! In honour of the occasion, I thought I'd rewatch one of the most fantastic Australian movies ever: The Castle. If you haven't seen it, you need to find a copy. Like, right now.


Reasons why The Castle is awesome:
1. Stephen Curry. He's perfect as Dale, the narrator of the story.
2. The costumes. It may have been set in the late 90s, but OHMIGOD SO 80S!
3. Steve's hilarious inventions.
4. Michael Caton.
5. Walking to the airport to pick up Con and Tracy.
6. Stealing gates.
7. Eric Bana. It's his first film role, and he's hilarious - he plays a tracksuit wearing kickboxer.
Check out the kickboxing cake topper! Also, source.

8. It's set in Melbourne.
9. Sal's hilarious crafts.
10. Bud Tingwell as the QC who comes to the rescue.
11. The Trading Post.
12. Dennis writing notes to Lawrence in the High Court.
13. Anne Tenney as Sal. Perfection.
13. Tracy on The Price is Right with Larry Emdur.
14. Moving the Cortina to get to Camina to get to the Torana to get to the Commodore.
15. The ridiculously sidetrack-y questions that Dale always asks.
16. Dennis' total incompetence in Federal Court. It's all about Mabo y'all.

17. Giving the thumbs up to the high court judges.
18. They filmed the entire thing in eleven days with a budget of $19,000. It made over $10,000,000 at the box office.

Plus, the following quotes:
- "Tell get stuffed."
- "This is going straight to the pool room."
- "He say plane fly overhead, drop value. I don't care. In Beirut, plane fly over, drop bomb. I like these planes."
- "Mum said it was funny how one day you're not famous, and the next day you are. Famous. And then you're not again."
- "And what Law are you basing this argument on?' "The Law of bloody common sense!"
- "It's the vibe of the thing..."
- "Dad reckons fishing is 10% brains and 95% muscle, the rest is just good luck."
- "Dad? I dug another hole! It's filling with water..."
- "I tell him you have friend, I have friend. My friend go to your house, put bomb under your car and blow you to fucking sky!" "What did he do?" "He get scared and he leave!" "I bet he did!" "I don't really have friend like this but people think all Arab have bomb." "You're a bloody ripper, Farouk! That's fuckin' fantastic!"
- "Now here back: all landfill. Not allowed to build there." "Has the soil been tested?" "Oh yeah, nothing too serious in there... what do you know about lead?"
- 'Well hello. How's this boys. Woo hoo. What'd you call this?" "Chicken." "And it's got something sprinkled on it..." "Seasoning." "Seasoning! Looks like everybody's kicked a goal."
- "It's a motorcycle helmet with a built in brake light." "You...are an ideas man, Steve."
- "We're goin' to Bonnie Doon. We're GOIN' to Bonnie Doon. WE'RE GOIN' TO BONNIE DOON!" "Darl'..."
- "How's the serenity?"
- "Dad... Guy's selling a pair of joustin' sticks." "Joustin' sticks? What's he want for 'em?" "Make us an offer" "Darl, what do you want with jousting sticks??" "I dunno. But I reckon they wouldn't come up all that often." "Yeah, but they're JOUSTING STICKS. What would ANYONE want with jousting sticks??" "Well, if you get 'em for half price, it's a bargain!" "Give him a call?" "Yeah!" 
- "Dad? $450!" "For joustin' sticks?? Tell him he's dreaming!" 
- "Dad reckons there's only one show better than Hey Hey It's Saturday. And that's the Best of Hey Hey It's Saturday." 
- "Jenny makes fake flowers." "Jenny?" "Yeah." "Jenny Jenny?" "No, Microwave Jenny."
- "Bad luck...ya dickhead."
- "Hey Steve, can you move the Camira? I need to get the Torana out so I can get to the Commodore." "Sure thing Dad, but I'll have to get the keys to the Cortina if I'm gonna move that Camira." "Alright mate, just watch the boat."
- "Suffer in ya jocks!" 

Seriously, if you want to understand Australia and Australians? You should watch The Castle

K xx

Friday, January 25, 2013

Technical difficulties

Contrary to appearances, I *am* still alive. (Although only just. My arrival in Orlando coincided with the arrival of the world's most arse about cold. It started with a cough and is ending with the sniffles. GO FIGURE) It just turns out that while the hotel we booked in Florida does have free wifi as promised, said wifi is only available in the lobby. And forcing yourself downstairs to write a blog post in a room full of strangers when all you want to do is sit in bed in your PJs is really freaking hard.

Anyway. I'm having a blast, hanging out with my BFF Sara, as well as my bloggy BFFs Lor, Alice and Emily. Today, we went here:

It's okay to be jealous. I would be if I hadn't just been there.

Mostly, I wanted to tell you guys that I'm still alive, and also to say an absolutely enormous thank you to the fantastic community over at 20SB for handing me not one, but TWO Bootleg Awards - Blogger I'd Most Like to Get a Drink With, and Best Female Overall. It's a huge honour, and I'm aiming to have drinks with as many of you as possible. Except I'll probably have lemonade because I have an increasing tendency to have one alcoholic drink and then feel the need to go to sleep on the table.

This need was extra strong last night at dinner. Turns out you probably shouldn't have a margarita shortly after taking cold and flu tablets AND cough syrup. Whoops??

Love you guys like whoa, and will update you properly when I can,

K xx

Monday, January 21, 2013

Movie Monday: Les Miserables

You guys knew this was coming eventually, didn't you? Now that it's been out in the UK for ten days or so, and it's coming up on Oscars season, LET'S TALK ABOUT LES MISERABLES.

And no, I will not be using a jump cut, because there are no such thing as spoilers for a story that was published 150 years ago and turned into a musical almost 30 years ago. Also, this is going to be a bit different to the usual Movie Monday posts, because of reasons.

ANYWAY. Allons-y!

- Anne Hathaway. ZOMG, amazing.
- "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables". Cue all the ugly crying. Well, all the trying-to-contain the ugly crying, because my family don't cry at movies and I do.
- The kid who played Gavroche.
- Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen. PHENOMENAL.
- Samantha Barks. Perfection. Also, can we all just stop and take a moment to be grateful that we didn't have to sit through Taylor Swift playing Eponine??
- That they included a snippet of "Little People", even though they didn't have time for the entire song.
- Aaron Tveit as Enjolras. Not only was he perfect for the role, he gets a millionty bonus points for being American and not singing in an American accent. We all know how I feel about that.
- "The Confrontation". This was one of the times when I thought Russell Crowe was actually really really good.
- That tiny moment when Javert removed his medal and pinned it to Gavroche's body. OMG, UGLY CRYING.
- The opening with the ship. I'm a sucker for a convict story (I think it's kind of obligatory after two years of getting paid to research convict history), so I loved that they showed how harsh it actually was. Also, bonus points to Hugh Jackman - I read somewhere that he went without water for 36 hours to appear that gaunt.
- That they didn't sanitise it. As an avid historian, it annoys me to no end when everything is clean and pretty and everyone has sparkly Hollywood teeth.

Wasn't so keen on:
- "Bring Him Home". Too much vibrato, Hugh. To be fair, it's not entirely his fault. It's the nature of the song which, for some bizarre reason, is about an octave (people with more musical experience than me, I made that up. It may only be three tones. I don't know and can't be bothered working it out.) higher than the rest of Valjean's part. So it's always a stretch, no matter who's in the role.
- The song they added in. Way too fluffy and light for the rest of the story. I agree that it did kind of need something added in there, and I like that they went back to the emotions Valjean expresses at that point in the book
- That when Eddie Redmayne sings vibrato, his entire body shakes. It worked perfectly in "Empty Chairs", but was kind of distracting at other times.
- "Drink With Me" being shortened. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???
- The fact I STILL have "Little People" stuck very firmly in my head, even though there were only about two lines of it in the whole movie.
- Amanda Seyfried. I mean, no one really likes Cosette. She's a bit of a wet blanket. But Seyfried's voice is really reedy, and I found it kind of distracting. 

Things that grew on me:
- "Stars". When I saw the movie, all I could think was that Russell Crowe didn't necessarily have the strength in his voice to back up a song like that. But then I downloaded the soundtrack. And the more I listen to it (AND "Javert's Soliloquy", for that matter), the more I like it. 

Things that made me laugh far more than was warranted:
So, what did you guys think??? K xx

Friday, January 18, 2013

Special snowflake

No, this is has nothing to do with the forecast dusting of snow that's apparently heading in DC's direction tonight. This has more to do with me being a special snowflake.

So remember last week when I said that I realised a Stanley knife was called a Stanley knife because it was made by the Stanley corporation? Yeah. I've been having a lot of those moments since I got to the US.

1. We went to one of the headquarters of Goliath National Bank* earlier this week. When leaving, I went "Oh, they have a Goliath National Bank ATM in the foyer, that's nice and convenient for their staff!!". Yup. A bank having an ATM was surprising to me.

2. I got stuck in a toilet cubicle at Pentagon City shopping centre. The lock was kind of busted, so I have no one to blame but myself. But yeah. I got stuck. And had to yank the door from the top to get it open. And then obviously texted half of 20SB to tell them about it. General consensus? "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".

3. Also at Pentagon City shopping centre? I lost the subway station. There were signs everywhere pointing to the Metro. I still couldn't find it.

4. In an attempt to FIND the subway station, I followed a crowd of people all heading in the same direction. This took me about three blocks away from where I actually wanted to go, AND also led me to the middle of a car park. Well done, Kirsti. Well done.

5. Earlier this week, we went to Walmart. The number of times I had to walk up and down the baking aisle before I located the chocolate chips? FOUR.

6. I got a Kindle for Christmas. The number of times I push the 'next chapter' button instead of the 'next page' button? ASTONISHING. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have to locate the page you were on when you do that?

7. We had a guy presenting to us the other day who was trying to give his presentation an Australian focus. So he mentioned ANZ, one of our big banks. Except that because he pronounced it Ay En Zee, it took me literally five minutes to work out that he was talking about ANZ (read: Ay En Zed).

8. I was watching the news before, which included the weather report. The weather reporter was like "And we're heading for a top of 49 degrees on Saturday". To which my response was "FORTY NINE FREAKING DEGREES?!?!?!? But I have no shorts or singlet top or thongs, and WAIT. They mean Fahrenheit, don't they..."

So...yeah. I'm clearly not going to need this any time soon:

Please tell me you guys have special snowflake moments too???

K xx

* name has been changed to protect the innocent from my idiocy.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

My life in numbers

Don't worry, I'll resume telling you all about meeting Sarah and catching up with Lauren and how much of a special snowflake I've been recently soon. But for the moment, I saw this over on Azra's blog and thought I'd give it a go!

-30: (degrees Celcius) Coldest temperature I've ever experienced.

47.6: (degrees Celcius) Hottest temperature I've ever experienced.

6.5: Number of years I will have spent at university by the time I finish my Masters.

12: Number of houses I have lived in.

175: Number of books I read in 2012.

24: Age I was when I started drinking.

6: Age I was the last time I got drunk.

15: Number of countries I've visited.

5: Number of passports I've had.

5: Number of languages other than English that I've undertaken formal education in.

1: Number of those languages I can vaguely understand now.

2: Number of siblings I have.

3: Number of cousins I have.

1: Number of operations I've had.

0: Number of bones I've broken.

2250: Number of songs in my iTunes.

111: Number of those songs that I actually listen to regularly.

7: Number of cities I've lived in.

38,000: (dollars) Amount of money I will owe the government for post-grad education when I finish my Masters.

1983: The year I was born.

2000: The year I finished high school.

5: Number of schools I've attended.

4: Number of universities I've attended.

565: Number of posts I've published on this blog including this one.

10: My favourite Doctor.

7: Average number of hours I sleep per night.

3-4: Number of times a week I should exercise.

2: Number of times a week I DO actually exercise.

0: Number of times I have exercised so far in 2013. WHOOPS.

324: Number of followers I have on Twitter.

252: Number of Facebook friends.

0: Number of times I've dyed my hair.

12: Standard number of hours between me painting my nails and chipping my nail polish.

So there you have it! What are your life numbers?

K xx

Monday, January 14, 2013

Movie Monday: Elizabethtown

Look, I KNOW this is a movie that people very strongly either love or hate. But I think it's one of those movies that grows on you. The first time I saw it, I sort of liked it but I wasn't quite sure. But the more I watch it, the more I realise just how fantastic it really is.

Reasons why Elizabethtown is awesome:
1. Orlando Bloom. It's nice to see him doing something that doesn't involve wearing elf ears or shoes with giant pilgrim buckles on them!
2. The soundtrack. It's phenomenal. Especially for roadtrips.
3. Kirsten Dunst.
4. The world's most ridiculous shoe.
5. Drew arriving in Elizabethtown to see the entire town pointing him in the right direction.
6. Susan Sarandon.
7. Epic phone conversations.
8. Last looks.
9. Alec Baldwin explaining how much $900-odd million is. Genius.
10. Drew's ridiculous suicide machine.
11. Louisville pronunciation lessons.
12. 60B. And missing it.
13. The car trying to eat Susan Sarandon.
14. Judy Greer. She's brilliant in pretty much everything ever.
15. Drew offering condolences to everyone when it's his father who died.
16. Paula Deen is in it. Seriously.
17. Samson.
18. Chuck and Cindy.
19. Ridiculous urns.
20. The video that makes the kids behave.

21. The giant papier mache eagle.
22. Setting fire to the hotel. WHOOPS.
23. Dresses in which good things do not happen.
24. Roadtrips. I loves me a good roadtrip.
25. Tap dancing to 'Moon River'.
26. Lowering the coffin into the grave. It's horrific and hilarious all at the same time.
27. Manic pixie dream girl.
Plus, the following quotes:
- "I think I've been asleep most of my life."
- "Is there such a thing as partial cremation?"
- "I'm impossible to forget, but I'm hard to remember."
- "Trust me. Everyone is less mysterious than they think they are."
- "If it wasn't this, it'd be something else."
- "So you failed. Alright, you really failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You think I care about that? I do understand. You wanna be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you’re still smiling."
- "I'm gonna have to call you back..." "Okay, just dial HELL and I'll answer."
- "We peaked on the phone."
- "What is that word...? Whimsical!"
- "Some music needs air. Roll down your window."
- "Did I miss 60B??? DID I MISS 60B????"
- "Because we have a moment here, let me tell you that I have recently become a secret connoisseur of 'last looks'. You know the way people look at you when they believe it's for the last time? I've started collecting these looks."
- "I want you to get into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened."
- "A few days after Mitch died I was walking through the yard and I saw our neighbor who was a very good friend of Mitch's, Bob, and he saw me coming through the gate, and he said, "I am so sorry for your loss." And I knew that he needed to feel that loss, too, and to share it, and I wanted to help him. And he put his arms around me, he cradled me, and his embrace tightened. Finally, here was somebody who truly cared. And then, I felt something else. Some-thing huge. Let's just say it, let's just say it. A BONER!"
- "By the way, I didn't say 'million,' I said 'billion.' A billion dollars; that's a lot of million."
- "Sadness is easier because it’s surrender. I say, make time to dance alone… with one hand waving free."
- "Do you ever just think "I'm fooling everybody"??" "You have no idea."

So. Have you seen it? And if so, are you in the elite club of people who think it's brilliant??

K xx

Friday, January 11, 2013


So yesterday, we visited a couple of global businesses as part of this study abroad thing I'm doing. One of these was Stanley Black & Decker. As part of the presentation we were given, a timeline was shown on the screen, which included the invention of the retractable utility knife in the nineteenth century by Mr. Stanley. This caused me to have a lightbulb moment of "Oh my God, THAT'S why it's called a Stanley Knife?!?!?!?!?!" Yeah. I'm a smart cookie, y'all. It's taken me 29 years to work out that a Stanley Knife is called a Stanley Knife because it's made by Stanley.

Thank you, Heath.

ANYWAY. That wasn't the actual story I wanted to tell. The actual story I wanted to tell happened on the bus back from Baltimore yesterday evening. So our group is turning out be remarkably like that scene in Mean Girls where Janice describes all the different cliques. You know the scene I mean, right? So there's the  Varsity Jocks (the boys shaped like inverted carrots who wear skinny jeans and tight t-shirts, and who pay absolutely no attention in class), the Desperate Wanna-Bes (the hangers on to the boys shaped like inverted carrots), the Plastics (girls who spend more time talking about shopping than anything else), and The Coolest People You'll Ever Meet (those of us in the library stream. OBVS). We seem to divide quite naturally into our little cliques, which also seem to coincide quite nicely with which degree people are doing.

Anyway, so we're driving back towards DC, and the Varsity Jocks/Plastics are making me stabby. I'd neglected to bring my iPod, so I couldn't block them out like Agatha Goodkin had. I DID, however, have my Kindle with me, which was something. But not having headphones meant I could hear their entire conversation. Which, at one point, went like this:

Plastic: "Oh my Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!! AN IHOP!!!!!"
Varsity Jock: "What's that?"
Plastic: "An International House of Pancakes?"
Varsity Jock: "WTF?"
Plastic: "It's like the Pancake Parlour."
Varsity Jock: "Oh. Okay..."
Plastic: "I REALLY want to go there!!!"
Varsity Jock: "Uh, why?"
Plastic: "I read about it in a book."
Varsity Jock: "Oh, okay. What book?"
Plastic: [mumbles]
Varsity Jock: "Sorry, I didn't hear you."
Plastic: "Fifty Shades of Grey..."
Me: [Furiously searches for phone to text Lor and Sweeney, then dies from repressed laughter]
Plastic: "Christian takes Ana to one, and she's all "OMG, this billionaire is in the same place that my mum used to take me for breakfast!" and it's suuuuuuuuuuuuper cute, and now I want to go to IHOP!"

So yeah. That happened.

As Lor said to me yesterday when she replied to my text, "I hope she's not disappointed by the lack of billionaires and domestic violence."

K xx

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I'm still alive!!

I'm not dead, you guys. Really, I'm not. I've just fallen off the face of the earth blogging-wise, because they have us running all over Washington like crazy people, and my smartphone is locked to my network in Australia meaning I can't put a US SIM card in it. Which means that I don't have data on my phone, only wifi. And this means that I only have internet access on my laptop at the motel, or if I go to Starbucks or similar. So blogging opportunities have been a little scarce thus far.


I can't do justice to things in the half hour I have before we head out for dinner, but I thought I'd give you an update just the same.
  • I haven't frozen to death, which is exciting. And it's been sunny every single day. 
  • My roommate - who shall henceforth be known as Agatha Goodkin, because we couldn't think of a decent alias for her, and an alias generator came up with that one for us - and I went to the zoo, where we flailed with excitement over the giant pandas.

  • I'm wishing I'd brought different shoes, because OHMIGOD MY FEET HURT.
  • Agatha Goodkin and I have no shame in hoarding food from the free motel breakfast, and will shortly turn into bagels as a result.
  • Every time I see the word 'bagel', I think of Britta Perry:

  • Speaking of Community, I met a woman today who said "Hello" in EXACTLY the same way that Shirley does. It was amazing. 
  • I have discovered that America does not have teaspoons or electric kettles. I discovered this in part because Agatha Goodkin is a tea drinker, and our motel room provides teabags, but no means of heating water. When she asked the woman at reception if she could possibly have a kettle, she was met with a confused stare and "............But you don't have a stove". So of course, I promptly got online and was all "Hey Gina? Do you guys REALLY not have electric kettles?", and got the reply "What's an electric kettle?'. I suppose the moral of the story is that if you throw crates of tea into the harbour, YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD. 
  • The adverts on TV are killing me. They're so horrifically hilarious. I saw one the other night with a slogan that nearly killed me: "Miralax: draws water into your colon so you don't have to wait to feel great." WHAT THE FUCK, AMERICA?!?!?!
  • Last night, a bunch of us went to the basketball to see the Washington Wizards play the Oklahoma City Thunder. Agatha Goodkin and I paid $14 for our seats, so they were in the super nose-bleed sections of the arena, but it was totally worth the money. Especially when I took my trusty zoom lens along for the ride...
View from where we were sitting, taken on my phone:

View courtesy of my zoom lens:

Boo yah.
  • If someone could explain to me why America serves salads BEFORE the meal rather than WITH the meal, that would be great. Also, WHY THE HELL DO YOU CALL IT A MAIN COURSE AN ENTREE? It translates from French as beginning or entry, so it makes FAR more sense to do what the rest of the world does and start the meal with an entree, and then have a main course. Sigh.
  • This weekend will feature Lauren coming to visit me. I'm super excited, and can't believe I have to survive three more days until she gets here. 
I shall update you all properly about the trip and what we've seen and done later in the week, but for now I'm heading to dinner.

K xx

Monday, January 7, 2013

Movie Monday: Bridget Jones' Diary

It's the first Movie Monday post for 2013, so it seemed only appropriate that we start the year off with some nice New Year's resolutions, courtesy of the one and only Bridget Jones!

I love the crap out of this movie, and I will never ever get sick of watching it.

Reasons why Bridget Jones' Diary is awesome:
1. Colin Firth. Playing Mr. Darcy AGAIN. I mean, come on.
2. Giant pants.
3. Renee Zellweger. She may be completely and utterly horrific in the sequel, but she's perfect in this.
4. Reading poetry in rowboats.
5. Hugh Grant. This is one of the few movies (along with Love Actually) in which I think he's brilliant.
6. Bridget's New Year's Resolution.
7. Christmas jumpers.
8. Bridget singing at the Christmas party.
9. The soundtrack
10. Jim Broadbent and Gemma Jones as Bridget's parents.
11. Turkey curry buffets.
12. Bridget's friends - Shaz, Jude, and Tom.

13. Blue soup.
14. The fight between Mark and Daniel.

15. Bridget works at Pemberley Press. GENIUS.

16. The hilariously awful fire station scene.
17. Turning up at a party in a bunny costume.

18. The cameo by Crispin Bonham-Carter (aka Mr. Bingley from Pride and Prejudice)
19. Bridget's hair when they arrive at their mini-break.
20. The ending.
21. The scene where Mark helps Bridget with cooking her birthday dinner.
22. Impersonating Bridget's mum and Una with the gravy.
23. Bridget stumbling off the exercise bike.
24. Taking over the driving. ESPECIALLY for the look on Gemma Jones' face.
25. It's written by Andrew Davies and Richard Curtis.
26. A million and one Harry Potter connections.

Plus, as always, the following quotes:
- "Come on. Why don't we see if Mark fancies a gherkin?"
- "How interesting. What a gripping life you do lead."
- "He's just a big knobhead with no knob."
- "How's it look? "Uh, great. It's, um, blue." "Blue?" "No, but, blue is good. If you ask me there isn't enough blue food." "Oh, shit! It must be the string." "Oh, it's string soup?"
- "Wait a minute. Nice boys don't kiss like that!" "Oh, yes, they fucking do."
- "Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse."
- "What do you think about the El Nino phenomenon?" "It's a blip. Latin music's on its way out."
- "So what do you think of the situation in Chechnya?" "I couldn't give a fuck, Jones."
- "I must say the sex is still quite surprising. Do you know just the other day I was just dozing off and I felt this huge..." "Bye, Mum! Ugh."
- "Come the fuck on, Bridget!"
- " I like you, very much." "Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and... ah, the verbal diarrhea." "No, I like you very much. Just as you are."
- "Well done Bridge, four hours of careful cooking and a feast of blue soup, omelette and marmalade. I think that deserves a toast, don't you? To Bridget, who cannot cook, but who we love just as she is."
- "Why do you wanna work on television?" "I've got to leave my job because I shagged my boss." "Fair enough. Start on Monday."
- "All right Cleaver, outside." "I'm sorry? Outside? Should I bring my dueling pistols or my sword?"
- "Did I really run round your lawn naked?" "Oh, yes. You were four and I was eight." "Well, that's a pretty big age difference. It's quite pervy really." "Yes, I like to think so."
- "Resolution #1:  Obviously, will lose 20 lbs. #2: Always put last night's pants in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasising about a particular person who embodies all these things."
- "I've been going crazy. I can't stop thinking about you, and thinking about what an idiot I've been. Christ, is that blue soup?"
- "Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and dresses like her mother."
- "You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you wandered out of Auschwitz!"
- "At times like this, continuing with one's life seems impossible... and eating the entire contents of one's fridge seems inevitable. I have two choices: to give up and accept permanent state of spinsterhood and eventual eating by Alsatians, or not. And this time I choose not. I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect! Instead, I choose vodka. And Chaka Khan."
- "Where the fuck is the fucking tuna?" 
- "My mum, a strange creature from a time when gherkins were the height of sophistication." 
- "I have to say, this really is the most incredible shit."

If you don't use at least one line from this movie on a regular basis, I suspect you need to reconsider your life choices. Just saying...

K xx

Saturday, January 5, 2013

101 in 1001 #35

Yesterday, I managed to cross something off my Day Zero project list. Which, considering I spent the entire day sitting on a plane, is rather impressive.

Okay, so what I crossed off was "Watch sunrise and sunset in the same day", but I still did it! 

Confusingly for me, 3rd January had TWO sunrises and TWO sunsets. But considering both of these took place on the same continent, I'm still counting it.

Sunrise took place about two hours outside LA:

And sunset took place somewhere over Kansas. Or Texas. Or Oklahoma. Or Arkansas. I have no idea, to be perfectly honest. It was pretty though!  

Plus side to flying half way around the world? FOUND. 

K xx

Friday, January 4, 2013

Melbourne to LA: the "things I wanted to tweet" edition

So I'm currently sitting in LAX, killing time waiting to board my flight to Washington. I spent a good chunk of the fourteen-ish hour flight over here wishing that I had internet access so that I could tweet all the thoughts I was having. Not having internet access in a tin can over the Pacific, I obviously wrote them all down so I could share them with you later. YAY.
  • I'm currently watching The Bourne Legacy and wishing Kim was here. What up, JRenner?
  • Uuuuuuuuuugh. The kid in front of me NEEDS to shut up.
  • Wait. The kid in front of me is actually TWO kids. Twins. One year old twins.
  • The girl next to me is wearing a parka and a blanket. I'm in a t-shirt.
  • Oooooh, THREE choices of food? What a novelty!
  • Um. Dessert is some kind of cheesecake thing that has actual CAKE on the bottom of it. WTF.
  • Reasons why the window seat sucks: people who just swivel in their seat to let you out, forcing you to clamber over them.
  • Great. One of the twins in front of me has shat itself and the smell is killing me.
  • 20 minutes later, said child's parents still haven't noticed. 
  • FORTY minutes later, said child's parents finally changed its nappy.
  • New theory: all under 5s should be placed in a soundproof booth at the back of the plane.
  • People who talk and laugh in the aisles while the cabin lights are down are EVIL.
  • Goddammit, I'm so hungry. 10 hours with no food? Not cool, Virgin Australia.
  • These children. I AM GOING TO STRANGLE THEM. They never sleep at the same time.
  • Just pulled my blanket out of the plastic. It's crusty. Excuse me while I freeze all "night". 
  • Oh my God. One of the parents just taught the twins how to open the window shades.
  • As a result of the above, half the plane have turned into vampires and are hissing at the sunlight.
  • Fuck, I hate the window seat. Need to pee, but the girl next to me is asleep on her tray table. Am trapped.
  • Watching Brave has made me want to watch The Decoy Bride again.
  • Oh God. Now the OTHER twin has shat itself. KILL ME NOW.
  • Huh. Only 15 minutes for the parents to realise that time.
  • Amount of sleep I have had on this flight: ZERO. Amount of time I have to spend in LAX: 5 hours. UGH.
  • Benefit to the window seat? Seeing the sun rise over the Pacific. 

  • Things I will never understand: why there are only ever 5 staff working the immigration desks at LAX.
  • My hair smells like airplane. Ew. 
  • Things I will never understand: how people can get to the front of the security line without getting out their ID.
  • Things I will never understand: how the full body scanners detect metal IN MY BACK.
  • Oh my God. I have clean teeth for the first time in almost 24 hours. It is heaven. 
  • There are billboards for Les Miserables all over this terminal. Awesome. 
I have approximately an hour and a half until my flight to DC boards. I plan on spending it eating and taking advantage of the free wifi. Hey, a girl has to prepare herself for further internet deprivation somehow!! 

K xx

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Adios, amigos

I'm currently sitting at the International Terminal of Melbourne Airport waiting for my flight to LA to board, having braved the wilds of duty free, marvelled at the fact that there's a WH Smith here (seriously, what's with this trend of having international chains AT THE AIRPORT and nowhere else?!), and consumed a fairly nasty hot chocolate.

I'm sulking a little, because I have a window seat and I object to the window seat on account of how I feel guilty having to ask people to move so that I can pee. This results in me only standing up twice for the duration of the flight. And when I *do* stand up, I inevitably brain myself on the roof of the plane. On the upside, VIEW. So far, Twitter is not backing me up on my dislike of the window seat. Clearly, I should travel with y'all because then YOU can all fight over the window seat, and I can have the aisle!

I'm also sniggering, because the woman who's doing the announcements for Qantas is from the north of England, and all I can hear is this:


Wish me luck getting to LA with my sanity intact, and then surviving my five hour layover. On the plus side, my luggage has been checked all the way through to DC, so at least I don't have to pay $25 to check my suitcase!!

Catch you on the flip side,
K xx

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Out with the old...

Happy New Year, kids!! Hope you all had a good one. I spent mine having a delicious dinner, cider and silliness with one of my oldest friends, and watching the fireworks from the city. Okay, so that last part happened from QUITE some distance - the powers that be had announced that this year, you'd be able to see the city fireworks from anywhere you could see the city skyline. So we wandered down the road to a freeway overpass. I was too lazy to haul my SLR out of the cupboard, but I took a couple of pictures on my phone:

It was much more impressive in person...

Also, here's what they looked like up close, apparently:
Photo: Jay Town. Source.
ANYWAY. A new year traditionally means resolutions. But considering the general assumption is that resolutions will get thrown by the wayside by January 7th, I'm going to go ahead and call these 'goals' or 'projects' or 'schmesolutions' instead.

1. Get fit. I know the traditional one is "Lose [insert number here] kilos". But I feel like inserting a number there dooms me to failure. So I shall stick with the non-specific instead, and hope that weight loss is an associated side effect. I need to start exercising more regularly than I currently do, and not indulging in "It's raining, I can't possibly go to the gym" days like I did in 2012. Nikki and I have vague plans to keep each other in check on this one. Anyone else need a support system and want to join in??

2. Finish what I start. Primarily, this is about my Masters. All things going to plan, I should be finished by June. But I'm also going to add in things relating to the blog - I need to get moving on my 101 in 1001 challenge, given that I now have a year and three months in which to finish it. I also need to finish my Photography Challenge, and my Cookbook Challenge, both of which were started in 2011. Oy. This goal will NOT apply to super sucky books that I decide need to be abandoned for the sake of my sanity, or TV shows that get really shit after a certain point. The X-Files, I'm looking at you.

3. Sort out my finances. In part, this means applying for jobs when I get back from the US in February, and not stopping because I hate writing applications and going to interviews and generally trying to convince employers that I'm awesome and not a socially awkward weirdo who can't construct a coherent answer under pressure. But it ALSO means not buying people $100 birthday presents because I feel guilty about only spending $10 (even though that's all I can afford to spend), or justifying the purchase of books or DVDs  to myself because they were ONLY $20. Buy what you NEED, not what you want, you idiot.

4. Write something ELSE. Sure, I write a lot of blog posts (a LOT a lot when you add Snark Squad to the equation). And I write far more incredibly boring essays than I would like. But I see how many of my friends are doing NaNoWriMo or who are sending novels out to publishers, and I'm seriously impressed. I feel like I should give it a go this year, if only to see what I can come up with. Writing prompts are more than welcome!

5. Get in the damned photo. I was tagged in a whopping FIVE photos on Facebook in 2012. One was of a bus shelter with Doctor Who related graffiti on it. Two were of food. One was of me as a little kid. I mean, if I can publish half a dozen vlogs without worrying about how much of an idiot I look, I'm pretty sure I can get in the photo more often.

6. Be a better friend. I've found that I've started doing this thing where I assume because I've mentioned something on my blog or on Twitter, that EVERYONE knows about it. I need to work harder this year at regularly contacting the people who don't spend their entire lives on the internet. And remembering that sometimes, it's a good idea to pick up the phone and call someone.

7. Make the most of my travel opportunities. My upcoming trip to the US (I leave in TWO DAYS!!) is looking like it might be the last bit of travel I do for a while for reasons that mostly relate to number 3 on this list. Rather than doing my usual routine of spending free time sitting in hotel rooms because they have free wifi, I should go outside, see the sights, and do things that I can't do at home.

8. DFTBA. Pretty self explanatory, really!

What are you planning to focus on in 2013?

K xx
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