Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Maybe if it starts raining sleeping bags, you might get lucky

So, season 5 of The X-Files. It had some fantastic quotes (that's yet another Scully-ism in the title), some great episodes, and a bunch of stuff that I remembered and was starting to think I'd made up. It's always nice to know that you didn't hallucinate X-Files episodes...

In case you don't remember from last time, season 4 ended with Scully telling a committee that Mulder had killed himself. And now, on with my thoughts!
  • FLASHBACK. Mulder is having a little cry. Aww. And now he's sitting in Scully's bedroom in the dark. And she's understandably confused to come home and find him there. He has a new and exciting conspiracy theory. Wow, Scully is an EXCELLENT fake crier. Cigarette Smoking Man thinks Mulder is dead and is having a little teary. WTF, room full of alien corpses. WTF, room full of pregnant women under strobe lights. Wheeeee, season 1 flashbacks! Oh no, fainting Scully.
  • Oh dear. Scully is on a ventilator, dying of her brain cancer, and Mulder is wigging out. Aaaand how she's awake and he's kissing her cheek and holding her hand #secretsexytimes And HE JUST KISSED HER HAND IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER #PRACTICALLYENGAGED Haha, Scully's brother does NOT like Mulder. Wait. Samantha is not only alive, but is Cigarette Smoking Man's daughter? So confused... Awww. Mulder is crying by Scully's bed in the middle of the night. Now he's being all dramatic at a hearing. Hahaha, right at the big gasp-worthy reveal, the DVD started skipping, and it was like the DVD was surprised too. Awesome. ZOMG. Cigarette Smoking Man got shot and is apparently dead. And Scully is miraculously in remission. HURRAH!
Another spectacular Mulder cry face. Also, source.
  • Uh, WTF. Mulder is naked on the floor yelling "They're heeeeeeeeeeeere", and the Lone Gunmen are getting arrested. In 1989. This, as it turns out, is the 100th episode. And it's pretty lame. Except that Detective Munch is in it, which is kind of amazing.
  • Hmmm, creepy camouflaged beasties on the forest floor. Or is it Peeta Mellark??? Apparently Mulder is twelve - he just said "Who cut the cheese?" and "PARTAAY!". Now they're lost in the woods. Scully just cuddled up to Mulder to keep warm, and he went "I don't want to wrestle" #secretsexytimes Ahahaha, and now she's singing 'Jeremiah was a Bullfrog'. AMAZING.
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  • Um. This episode is like a cross between Pleasantville and that episode of Supernatural, 'Monster Movie'. With added Jerry Springer and mad scientists. And Mulder and Scully slow dancing at a Cher concert. WTF. (#secretsexytimes)
  • Now there's a Christmas episode in which Scully is getting mysterious phone calls from her dead sister. Scully's mopey because she's infertile and her sister-in-law is pregnant. Also, there's a kid who looks exactly like Scully's dead sister, so she's assuming it's Dead Sister's kid. Mmm, nothing says Christmas like an autopsy! OOH. It's NOT Dead Sister's kid. It's SCULLY'S KID. 
  • Ahahahaha, Mulder is trying to impersonate Mr. Potato Head for Scully's insta-kid. Eeeeuw. There's gross green lumpy crap coming out of the kid's neck. And now there are creepy alien babies floating in test tubes of green goo. Double eeeeuw. Awwww. Scully's insta-kid was actually an alien beastie, and died... :(
This is his Mr. Potato Head face. You're welcome. Also, source.
  • Oh God, not Modell again. That dude creeps me out. Ew. Someone painted himself blue and then DRANK PAINT UNTIL HE DIED?? Gross. 
  • Aaaaaah, mini-Ash from Supernatural!!! Okay, creepy men standing in orchards? NEVER ends well. Mulder to Scully: "Is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?" #secretsexytimes. Uh. Killer trees. KILLER. TREES. I have no explanation for this...
  • Holy hell. There's a creepy small child with a creepy as fuck doll that's encouraging people to claw out their eyes or cut their own throats or hit themselves in the head with a hammer over and over. This is like every nightmare of ever rolled into one... *shudder* Haha, Scully just went on a spiel about witches. Mulder's response? "Scully? Marry me." #secretsexytimes 
Terrifying doll of creepiness. Also, source.
  • Uh. There's some kind of AI creation living in the internet. And crazy people were going to give up their boring earth bodies to live in the internet forever. Suuuuuuuure... Oh, now the AI is trying to kill Mulder. Aaaaaaand now Mulder's hallucinating that he's got no arms, and Scully can do martial arts. LOL, WHUT.
  • YESSSSSS, THE TEEN VAMPIRE EPISODE!!!!!!! This is one of the ones I thought I'd invented. OMG. Luke Wilson is in it. As the local sheriff! Ahaha, SUPER Snarky Scully. And High Mulder.  AAAAAAAAH, Luke Wilson is a vampire!!! THIS EPISODE IS AMAAAAAAZING.
Lol, Luke Wilson. Also, source.
  • UGH, not Krycek again... Aaaaand now Mulder's the skeptic. IIIIIInteresting. Black ooze again, blah blah, flamey abduction victims blah blah, Scully might become one of them, dun dun duuuuuuun.
  • Awwww. Mulder thought Scully was dead, and how he's all happy because she's not. Her first reaction on seeing him standing next to her bed? "What time is it?" Seriously, #secretsexytimes. Ew, people with no eyes. They look like the Bringers from Buffy... Aaaand Cigarette Smoking Man isn't dead. DUH.
  • Uuuugh, another flashback episode???? 1990 this time. But wait! The Yellow Eyed Demon from Supernatural is in it!! Seriously, did Kim Manners do ALL the casting for Supernatural based on people he'd worked with on The X-Files?! Eeeeeeeuw, there's a body fluid sucking alien spider coming out of a guy's mouth. Excuse me while I vomit... Um. 1990 Mulder is wearing A WEDDING RING. WHAT IS THIS INSANITY?!?!?!?!?!?
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  • There's a blind girl killing people. OR IS SHE? Uh. Apparently the actual killer murdered Blind Girl's mum while she was pregnant with Blind Girl, and now Blind Girl sees through the killer's eyes. WHUT. Oh. And the killer is Blind Girl's dad. OF COURSE.
  • Uh, some paralysed girl could miraculously walk only to fall to her knees with her eyes burnt out. GROSS. And it turns out that she's one of quadruplets, all of whom have 12 fingers and get their eyes burnt out. Jeez, what a suckfest. Uh. Now there's a priest whose true face is four animal heads, and a ginger social worker who may or may not be the Devil. I am SO confused right now... 
Yes, that's smoke coming from her eye sockets. Ew. Also, source.
  • Eeeeuw, a dissolving dead guy, a failed sting, and Mulder acting seriously weird. I have absolutely no idea what is happening in this episode. NONE. 
  • Okay, a giant invisible bug. WHUT. Um. Now it's a bug in disguise as a person? Sounds like the episode of Buffy that Lor and I recapped today... </self promotion>
  • Ugh, Krycek is bringing Cigarette Smoking Man back into the fold. Now there's a small chess playing child who may or may not be psychic. And Mimi Rogers. Awww, Scully just found out that Mimi Rogers is Mulder's ex, and she's all jealous. Oh, look. The X-Files are being closed down AGAIN. Aaaaaaaaand now Cigarette Smoking Man is setting fire to Mulder's office. Specifically, the filing cabinets. Mini Kirsti cried like a baby in this scene. Like, ran into the next room bawling and scared my mum into thinking that I'd broken a limb kind of crying. Adult Kirsti just sniggered because Scully took the "Oh no, our office burned down" opportunity to squeeze Mulder's biceps. #consolationsexytimes
Bicep gropage. Also, source.

As much as I loved the ridiculous vampire episode and was relieved to find out that I didn't hallucinate Cigarette Smoking Man setting fire to Mulder's office, I have to admit, it's getting progressively crappier. I'm not entirely sure I can survive another four seasons of this... 

Random question of the day: with shows like The X-Files and Supernatural, do you prefer the scary episodes or the funny episodes?

K xx

Monday, July 30, 2012

Movie Monday: The Decoy Bride


If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know that yesterday I said that I felt I should watch something English this week in honour of the Olympics. I ended up with a list of several things that I couldn't decide between, so for the next few weeks, I'm going to be doing a little 'my favourite British movies that I haven't already written about' type of a deal.

Obviously, my all-time favourite English movie was covered in the lead up to Christmas last year: Love Actually, so that one is off the table. But I watched this last week, and I pretty much want to watch it over and over again, because despite being ridiculously cheesy, it was also completely adorable.
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I'm going to do something I wouldn't usually bother with, and give you guys a plot summary, because I'm guessing most of you haven't seen it. Basically, Lara Tyler (Alice Eve) is a super huge enormous American movie star. She's engaged to James Arber (David Tennant), an English author. Every time they try and get married, the paparazzi turn up. So her agent (Michael Urie) arranges for them to go to the tiny island of Hegg, in the outer Hebrides. When the media also turn up THERE, the agent decides they need a decoy bride. Enter Katie (Kelly MacDonald), the only single girl left on the island. But when Lara disappears and Katie and James accidentally get married for real, craziness ensues.

Seriously, though. It's better than it sounds. You know what? Here, watch the trailer:



Reasons why The Decoy Bride is awesome:
1. David Tennant. I mean, come on. How could you not expect him to be at the top of this list after seeing that trailer?? (Sadly, he's not being Scottish. On the plus side, he's using his Tenth Doctor accent)
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2. Kelly MacDonald. She's the voice of Merida in Brave (which I have yet to see), and she's pretty hilarious in this.
3. The heartwarming scene between an old deaf couple, wherein they ask James to play the bagpipes, and begin to dance even though they can't hear the music.
4. Dylan Moran as a newspaper editor demanding the paparazzi get him photos of the wedding.
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5. All the Doctor Who references, whether they're intentional or not. (Uh, hi. Tennant's character is engaged to a woman who's young and blonde and her surname is TYLER...)
6. Sally Phillips as the agent's offsider. She's pretty hilarious. She also wrote the script! You may know her better as Shaz from Bridget Jones' Diary.
7. Michael Urie, aka Marc from Ugly Betty. He pretty much plays the exact same character, and he's brilliant.
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8. James Fleet as the local laird. It's a bit part, but he's great whatever he's in. You may know him better as Hugo from The Vicar of Dibley.
9. There's a haunted toilet. Haunted by the ghost of a cow.
10. The fake wedding, in which Katie has to attempt an American accent.
11. This costume. Not to mention the fact that he does that little foot pop thing:
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12. David Tennant playing the bagpipes. Or pretending to, at least.
13. The opening scene where there are a bunch of different 'brides' in different coloured dresses to throw the paparazzi off track.
14. The scene where Katie pretends she lives in the haunted toilet and offers the paparazzi grilled puffin for lunch.
15. This scene:
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16. David Tennant in a swan shaped pedalo. 
17. Hamish Clarke, aka Duncan from Monarch of the Glen.
18. It's now available for streaming on Netflix. YOU'RE WELCOME, AMERICA. And it's available on DVD in Australia.

- "Turn me concave with caverns of longingness." "Oh, God. Did I write that? 'Longingness.' It’s not even a word." "No. That was just me saying what I was thinking." "Oh, right. Sorry....... [awkwardly] It finally got dark, then?"
- "My life flashed before my eyes, and I was bored half way through... Drowning was actually a highlight."
- "Please, forgive me. I've spent lots of time with...hermits."
- "A chapter can be a book."
- "I've gone man vegan. They say that after the first six years, you don't miss them any more."
- "Predominantly, it's a sheep snatching thing."
- "We could get married in outer space, or the lost underwater kingdom of Atlantis?"
- "There is somebody out there for you, somebody's sensitive, and faithful, and kind. But you'll never meet him if you're hiding here." "Good! I don't want to meet him, he sounds like a twat. Anyway, I'm like kryptonite to men. Kryptonite dipped in cellulite."
- "How do you know that you've met the one?" 'Whenever you look at them you'll find yourself singing "you are the wind beneath my wings."..."
- "I'm pretty sure that's not a real cow. Unless it's gotten hold of a kazoo..."
- "Did you sign the register?" "You saw me. Why?" "I think in all the fuss, I may have signed my own name!"
- "Do you like him?" "He's an emotionally retarded arty boy who's in love with another woman. Of course I like him."
- "At least the fact that you're going to leave me for another woman has been agreed in advance..."
- "Has the marriage been consummated?" "No... I just haven't had time."
- "You are...staggeringly beautiful." [Why thank you, David Tennant]
- "He's disguised as a wizard."
- "Here, we live in primitive dwellings that anthropologists like to call HOUSES."
- "Are you gonna fight like a man, or just throw puffins at me?"

It may be a complete and utter cheesefest of a romantic comedy. But it's also pretty hilarious and totally adorable. So, have I convinced you to watch it yet???

K xx

Sunday, July 29, 2012

101 in 1001 update

With the exception of my (somewhat) recent post on teaching Little Miss A to bake, it's been a while since I updated you guys on how my 101 in 1001 challenge is going. None of them have really warranted a full post unto themselves, so I figured I'd jam a bunch of stuff into one post. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

#10 - Read 100 new books
DONE!! I finished this the other day. There's a full list over on my 101 in 1001 page, and there are reviews of each book over on my Goodreads page. Some of them were amazing, some of them were epic pieces of shit. And I discovered a whole bunch of awesome authors to look out for, which is always good.

#19 - Reach 500 blog posts
In progress. This post makes 453, so I'm pretty sure I'll have this crossed off before the end of the year! 

#30 - Take a cooking class
DONE! I didn't realise it until I looked at the list again to write this post, but the macaron class that Deidre and I took for Super Sized Dessert Day has taken care of this one nicely.

#31 - Host a guest blogger
DONE! Another one I'd forgotten that I put on the list. Thanks to Teacher Girl and the 20SB blog swap, I crossed this off last week! 

#54 - Print out my photos
I guess this one is almost always going to be a work in progress. But I HAVE printed out a ton of photos from 2008 through to the end of my trip to America last year, along with labelling them and putting them into albums. For the moment, I'm not crossing this off, because I'm not COMPLETELY up to date with printing my photos. But maybe when I get back from America NEXT year, I'll cross this one off.

#56 - Buy a new laptop
DONE! Okay, so technically I didn't buy it. My dad bought it for me, because a) my old laptop completely shat itself over the semester break ('multiple blue screens of death' kind of shat itself. I think the hard drive died...), b) I needed a new one for uni, because we're in a shiny new "no computers provided" building, and my old one weighs about 4 kilos, and c) I have no money. But I have a new laptop, so it totally counts, right???

#59 - Follow a new blog every month
I've probably exceeded this one in almost every month. The only problem is that I reached a point where I forgot to write them down, so I'm not ENTIRELY sure of the order I followed various blogs in. Whoops? Anyway, it's still plodding along merrily.

#60 - Take a self portrait every month
Dudes. This one is an EPIC failure. I took one the first month, and THAT WAS IT. I'm definitely going to be donating $10 to charity for this one...

#65 - Keep a plant alive for a year
Nearly two months in, the plant is still alive. EXCELLENT PROGRESS, ME!

#96 - Save all coins smaller than 50c and go shopping at the end
Yeah, I've been saving all 5c, 10c and 20c pieces religiously. But I'm not sure how well that shopping spree is going to go. I currently have $14................. 

#100 - Seriously consider doing my PhD
DONE. I can honestly say that I've seriously considered this, and now that I'm arse deep in a Masters degree and racking up another $30,000 in debt to the government (thankfully, it's interest free and I pay it back through my tax!), I definitely won't be doing my PhD any time soon. I'd still like to do it one day. But maybe when I've retired. Then I can do it on something I find interesting, rather than something I think will stand a chance of getting me a job! 

So there you have it. There's a lot of stuff that still needs to be started, and a stack of stuff that needs to be finished. But I think it's going pretty well so far! 

K xx

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Farewell and/or good riddance

Don't worry, kids. I'm not doing anything dramatic like quitting the blogosphere!! The farewell is instead to my trusty friend and constant companion of the past ten years: my passport which expired today. We've had some good times together, my passport and me: England, the US, the US again, Peru, Ecuador, Guatemala, Belize, the US a third time, Thailand, and the US again last year! There's also a stamp in there for the Galapagos, and another one for the Inca Trail.

The good riddance part? Because my passport photo looked like this:

Apologies for the terrible quality. My SLR refused to focus on the picture (probably because the lens would have shattered as a result) so I had to take the pictures on my phone.

Anyway, 19 year old Kirsti? Probably should have thought things through a little more before having that photo taken.

29 year old Kirsti? Yeah, she thought through things good and hard before going to get the photos taken for her replacement passport:

Hopefully this means that I won't spend the next ten years with people doing a double take when they look at the photo!!

Also? You're no longer allowed to smile in passport photos, which is why I look bored as all hell in the new photo. Also also? If you guys are REALLY lucky, I might show you 15 year old Kirsti's passport photo some day. Hoooooooooo boy, is it terrible!

Anyone else have a truly awful passport photo???

K xx

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Ancient History, Volume XXI

Last time, I left Peru for Ecuador, went to the equator and ate my body weight in melted cheese. The day AFTER eating my body weight in melted cheese, we were off to the airport again, heading to the Galapagos. Turns out when you fly to the Galapagos? You fly via Guayaquil, which is about 35 minutes flight from Quito, and is the economic capital of Ecuador as well as its largest city. Kind of like Canberra and Sydney, really!

Anyway, the flight from Guayaquil to the Galapagos was about an hour and a half. The AIRPORT in the Galapagos is basically a tin shed, with no walls, which made claiming our luggage kind of interesting... From the airport, we headed to Puerto Ayora where we were transferred to our home for the next four days - the Darwin Yacht (or, as the stickers we were given said, Darwin Yatch).

After settling into our cabins and a quick spot of lunch, we were off to the Charles Darwin Research Station to see the giant tortoises. We got to get right up close to them, which was pretty amazing.
I was terrified that I was going to topple backwards and squish a tortoise...

We also got to see poor old Lonesome George, the last Pinta Island tortoise (he died about a month ago, so now there are NO Pinta Island tortoises. SAD PANDA). He did look very lonesome...
He's the rock looking thing behind the pond.

And we got to see BABY TORTOISES!!! (Also? Do you have ANY idea how hard it was for me not to write 'Esio Trot' in all these sentences???)
The colours painted on their backs tell the keepers which species they are.

Wandering around the research station (which also houses lava lizards, iguanas, and a bunch of different bird species) took up the rest of the day. That night, back on the boat, we had a briefing about the next day's activities, before we headed to the upper deck for a few drinks. And at about midnight, we set sail! I had a rather exciting(??) night, because the door to my cabin decided to fall open by itself, and bang against the wall, scaring the crap out of me. (Thankfully, my millionty kilo pack held it closed very nicely for the remaining nights!)

The following day, we were up stupidly early and doing our first trip ashore before 8am on the island of Rabida. It was pretty incredible - the beaches are red volcanic sand. We got to see hermit crabs, marine iguanas, sealions, pelicans and Darwin finches.
Marine iguana! They're kind of gross. There's almost no fresh water in the Galapagos, so
they've adapted to drinking seawater and snorting the salt out through their noses...

Cranky looking nesting pelicans

Sealions

And from there, we went snorkelling with several schools of fish, and a very curious sealion!! That part was ZOMG worthy, because the sealion swam along side us in the waves for a good ten minutes. After the snorkelling, it was back to the boat and off to Santiago. Public service announcement: taking a shower while sailing through choppy water is...interesting. On the plus side, there were a bunch of frigate birds handing out behind the boat, which was pretty awesome.

After a couple of hours of sailing and an hour for lunch, we were back in the dinghy heading for shore on Santiago. It's pretty amazing that two islands can be so close together and so completely different. Santiago had black sand beaches and a whole stack of crazy lava formations, along with TONS of marine iguanas, and a brand new baby sealion:
Kooky lava formations

Baby sealion, mummy sealion, and a butt ton of marine iguanas

We had a pretty long walk around the island, and wound up near some inlets getting to see a group of fur seals playing, which was incredible:
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

From there, we went snorkelling again, before sailing off into the sunset (literally) past a rock formation that was used for target practice during World War II (seriously), and a colony of masked boobies:
The Bishop

Masked boobies. THEY'RE BIRDS, YOU SMUTTY PEOPLE.

All in all? Not a bad two days! 

Next up, underwater craters, sharks, and a dose of "Hey, I remember this from Master and Commander!!"

K xx

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

20SB Blog Swap: Childhood Summer Vacation

Hey guys! I've got something a bit different for you today. 20SB are doing one of their regular blog swaps, and considering it's the middle of winter here, I figured that it was an EXCELLENT time to write about summer vacations from back in the good old days! 

I was lucky enough to be paired with Teacher Girl, whose blog I've been following for ages! She's got a great story for you guys about her favourite childhood vacation. Meanwhile, I'm over at her blog talking about Roald Dahl audiobooks and how watching the cricket led to child labour. You should check it out! Hell, y'all should check out her blog full stop, because it's great.




Teacher Girl is a 20-something anonymous life style blogger who writes at www.teachergirlblogs.com. There, she deals with everything from being a high school English teacher and freelance photographer, to dating and the uncertainty of life in her 20′s. She is sarcastic, funny, passionate, and kind-hearted. In her free time she loves writing, taking pictures, dancing, eating, sleeping, and traveling. Oh, and she might be a tad obsessed with her cat.

I can remember the last few days of school leading up to summer as a child. We would all complain about how hot the weather had gotten and what our plans were for the vacation. I was always instantly jealous when my friends spoke about their plans to travel and go to places far away. My family was poor, and we pretty much always stayed around home.

The summer I was twelve though, my mom sent me to New York, my birthplace (we left when I was seven), alone. I will always remember this summer for many reasons. It was the first time I felt “grown-up.” I flew on the plane alone, I made plans to stay with various friends’ families for a series of days, and I was completely responsible for myself.

For the first part of that summer I stayed with my mom’s best friend (and my former pre-school teacher) in the heart of the city. It was amazing because she went to work all day and I had her Manhattan apartment to myself. I explored the neighborhood of the Upper East Side and spent a ridiculous amount of time people watching from her window. After a few days, I was off to my friend Samara’s house, a penthouse apartment that took up the entire floor of an amazing building overlooking central park. Her rich mother kept us occupied with bagels and the computer game version of “Where in the World is Carmen San Diego,” which we played on Samara’s bright orange Macintosh desktop computer.

After Samara’s, I spent the last part of my time there with my childhood best friend Mia on Long Island. We went exploring each day, and it was in those wooded areas on the island, on an old abandoned mattress, that I smoked my first cigarette ever. I also watched MTV for the first time (my mother didn’t allow it) and fell in love with Rap and R&B music, “Mo Money, Mo Problems” becoming our summer anthem. Her mother took us to Manhattan, and we explored and went shopping. I purchased my first pair of non-kid size jeans, a size zero pair of light washed Levi’s, and some of my very first CDs. In the summer afternoons we played in her backyard, running through the sprinklers and catching fireflies in mason jars. I had never been happier in my life.

On my finals days in New York, I had one last endeavor planned: I was going to see my real father. I don’t remember how I got in touch with him, but I somehow made plans for him to pick me up from Mia’s house. In the car, I didn’t know what to say to this man that I hadn’t seen in 10 years, and so I made small talk, showing him my report card with straight A’s in the hope that he’d be impressed and proud. I asked him if he knew when my birthday was, convinced he must not have known since I’d never received a card or a gift, but he did know and that hurt more. He took me to his apartment and I met his then girlfriend (now wife and mother of their two kids) and I marveled at his big TV and nice car (we were broke and he never paid his child support because he always claimed poverty in court).

He took me to his brother’s house, my uncle, and I met him and some of my cousins. Then he took me to a movie, “Men in Black,” and we didn’t talk because you don’t talk in movies. It was then I realized that this man didn’t want to talk to me, because who takes their daughter they haven’t seen in 10 years to the movies. When the film was over, he gave me $20 and left me at the mall since Mia was meeting me there. I would only ever see him one more time after that moment and he never bothered to keep in touch.

A few days later I went home, forever changed by those summer experiences. I wore my jeans on the first day of seventh grade, and I felt powerful. I hoped in my heart that I would go back one day to live, perhaps for college, in the city that had changed me in so many ways.

Although it has been fourteen years since that summer and I have never lived in New York again (by the time I went to college it didn’t make sense for a lot of reasons for me to go there), I am still a frequenter of the city. My family and many friends still reside there, and every time I visit I am enchanted. I am home.

Thanks, Teacher Girl! I hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did. I'm hoping 20SB does another swap soon, because I can't wait to read all the different stories that have come out of this one.

And for now, I'm off to see if I can find a version of "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" online, because I loved the crap out of that game, and had completely forgotten about its existence until now I read TG's post!! 

K xx

Monday, July 23, 2012

Movie Monday: Back to the Future


I honestly can't believe it's taken me this long to cover today's selection. Because I love the crap out of it:
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Hey, what can I say - I'm a child of the 80s!! And it's basically obligatory to love this movie if you're a child of the 80s. Also, if I can't have a TARDIS, I'll settle for a time travelling DeLorean...

Reasons why Back to the Future is awesome:
1. Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly. I honestly can't picture anyone else in this role. EVER.
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2. Christopher Lloyd as Doc Brown. To this day, I see a picture of Christopher Lloyd? My brain goes "Great Scott!!"
3. The DeLorean. It's pretty much a character in its own right.
4. The soundtrack - the score is fantastic, and Huey Lewis was pretty much the epitome of the 80s.
5. Crispin Glover as George McFly. He's fantastic.
6. The scene where Marty skateboards to school and hitches rides behind various cars.
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7. Lea Thompson as Lorraine Baines McFly. She basically has to play three different characters in the one movie, and she's great.
8. Biff. He's such a stereotypical bully.
9. The flames on the road after the DeLorean disappears through time.
10. The scene where Marty persuades George to ask Lorraine out by blasting him with Van Halen and pretending to be Darth Vader. Genius.
11. The scene where Marty plays Johnny B. Goode at the school dance.
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12. How everyone in 1955 thinks that Marty's puffy jacket is a life preserver.
13. The giant amplifier right at the start.
14. Einstein and Copernicus, Doc's dogs.
15. Uncle Joey's parole cake.
16. The scene where Biff and the other bullies drive into the back of a manure truck.
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17. Lybians in a Kombi van. (That's VW bus to America)
18. Doc Brown's alarm clock/breakfast making system. AMAZING.
19. The flux capacitor.
20. The judge who says that Marty's band are too loud to play at the school dance in 1985? That's Huey Lewis.
21. The scene where Doc Brown is dangling from the clock tower.
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22. Apparently Ronald Reagan found it so amusing that 1955 Doc was all "Ronald Reagan is President?? PFFFFF" that he made the projectionist stop the film and replay the scene. He also quoted it in a speech. AWESOME.
23. The scene where George finally stands up to Biff. It's just brilliant.
24. It's produced by Steven Spielberg, who pretty much can't do any wrong (the fourth Indiana Jones movie was a notable exception..................)
25. This scene:
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Plus, the following quotes:
- "I'm your density!"
- "Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me that you built a time machine...out of a DeLorean??" "The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?"
- "Great Scott!!!!"
- "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads!"
- "If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour...you're going to see some serious shit."
- "Last night, Darth Vader came down from Planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out, that he'd melt my brain."
- "If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything."
- "What happens to us in the future? Do we become assholes or something??"
- "Calvin? Wh...Why do you keep calling me Calvin?" "Well, that's your name, isn't it? Calvin Klein? It's written all over your underwear."
- "Whoa. Wait a minute, Doc. Are you trying to tell me that my mother has the hots for me??" "Precisely!" "What. This is heavy." "There's that word again. 'Heavy'. Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?"
- "I'm sure that by 1985, plutonium is available in every corner drugstore, but in 1955, it's a little hard to come by!"
- "Strickland! Jesus, didn't that guy EVER have hair??"
- "[plays rock guitar solo] I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet... But trust me, your kids are going to love it!"
- "1.21 gigawatts. Great Scott!!" "What the hell is a gigawatt???"

Question of the day: would you rather have a TARDIS or a time travelling DeLorean? And would you go forward or backwards in time???

K xx

Friday, July 20, 2012

Meanwhile, I've quit the FBI and become a spokesperson for the ab-roller

Another season of The X-Files over and done with, and I'm starting to get the feeling that I hallucinated a lot of the episodes that I remember really clearly from when I was OBSESSED with this show in the 90s. Because I'm now half way through season 5, and certain things that I remember haven't happened yet. Perhaps I am becoming my own X-File??

What a terrifying concept.

ANYWAY. I'm going to warn you now: season 4 can be summed up in a single word - ANGST. Warning given, on with my many, many thoughts!!
"God, won't she EVER give up on blogging about us??" Also, source
  • Oh good. Creepy children. IDENTICAL creepy children. Tending creepy bees. This can't POSSIBLY end in badness...
  • Dying mother = crying Mulder = hugging Mulder and Scully. Awwwwwwww. (And, you know, #secretsexytimes)
  • OMFG. 'Home' is the most disturbingly horrific episode of EVER. Deformed babies, Mrs Peacock, and a heavy dose of BLUUUUUURGH.
Source
  • Mulder just told Scully to find a man with good genes and start popping out babies. Her reply? "What about your family?" #SECRETSEXYTIMES
  • Seriously, people. JUST LOCK YOUR DOORS and you won't get murdered by the beast of the week. DUH. Uh. Oh my God. Scully just did the "baa, ram, ewe" thing from Babe on a yard full of pigs. I find her more and more hilarious with every episode!
  • Um. The beast of the week is making recent African migrants albino. Aaaaaand Mulder just made a Michael Jackson joke. And now he's been shot with a blow dart thing and is drooling. HAHAHAHA.
  • Urgh. Now there's a creepy guy whose thoughts end up in photos. And he's giving them lobotomies through the eyeball. This reminds me Sucker Punch, except it makes a crapton more sense. And now he's trying to do it to Scully. Seriously, how she doesn't have PTSD by now is completely beyond me.
  • Ooooh, cray-cray cult types and past life insanity. WHEEEEEE!!! And CAR PHONES. Aaaaand Mulder just made a Dawson Cryface two years before the Dawson Cryface existed. AMAZING.
See? Total Dawson Cryface. Source
  • Eeeeeeeuw, liposuction on camera *gag*. I love it when people on these shows see a series of unrelated marks, and suddenly join them all together to make a mystical symbol. IT COULD BE ANYTHING!!! Okay. This nurse lady is terrifying. And now there's a dude peeling off his own face. Excuse me while I throw up...
  • Ugh, an entire episode dedicated to Cigarette Smoking Man's backstory? SNORE. So what if he killed JFK and Martin Luther King? That doesn't mean I'm going to feel sorry for him because he's a writer who can't get published! 
  • Oh, goody(?), the return of Krycek and the black oozy stuff. URGH. Shirtless Skinner. At least he's being a badass?? 
  • Uh... Mulder is in a Russian prison trapped under chicken wire and is being infected with the black ooze. WHUT. 
Source
  • Question: how do you look through a microscope while wearing a HAZMAT suit???????
  • Aaaaaaand now Krycek is having his arm cut off by Russian peasants with a heated knife. Lovely.
  • "Let me put my arms around you. Both of them." Aww. Welcome back, Mulder. And welcome back, #secretsexytimes! Meanwhile, Scully is wearing a pant suit and combat boots. Uh, NO.
  • Paper Hearts is still a FANTASTIC episode.
  • Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, a chupacabra!!! Who doesn't love a chupacabra?? Also, EW - So. Much. Fungus...
  • WTF. There is a guy with no head walked around. And now his decapitated head is blinking and moving its mouth. NYARGH... Oh my God. GROSS. The guy is made of cancer and eats bits of cancer out of people/out of the medical waste to survive. I think I'm going to hurl.
Ew. Also, source.
  • Hahahahahaha, Scully just defibrillated his head. AAAAAND Scully has mysterious head cancer. I know I should be sad for her and all, but mostly I just keep thinking about Terrance and Phillip, and how Scott wishes them head cancer...
  • Okay. We're half way through season four, and Scully has only JUST realised that she doesn't have a desk?? Whut. And now there's a talking tattoo, which is kind of amazing. Aaaaand now Scully's on a date. With a killer. At a dive bar. Oh, Scully... 
Source
  • Scully just said "Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life." Pretty sure that means no more #secretsexytimes. SAD PANDA.
  • Ooh, golums. They always make me think of Terry Pratchett... Okay, so there's a guy who's hanged himself. And they're trying to cut him down. But Mulder is making teeny tiny Scully hold his body weight while he cuts the rope. DUDE. No wonder she went on a date with a killer and called off the #secretsexytimes! 
  • Um. Since when is crying blood an actual thing?!?!?!?! This is terrifying...
  • Um, WTF. Mulder just went through a metal detector talking on his phone. His pocket change set off the metal detector. His phone did not. Apparently phones in the 90s contained no metal at all...
  • Awwwwwwww. Mulder just got the staff at the restaurant they're eating at to sing Happy Birthday to Scully. And he got her a present. Bless............
Source
  • Awww. Drunk Pendrell. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, DEAD PENDRELL!!!! *cries*
  • Alien abduction from a plane at 30,000 feet that doesn't depressurise when the door is opened??? WTF.
  • Mmmmm, frozen corpses. And time travel! But without a TARDIS :( Honestly, why would you even bother?! 
  • Hee hee, baby with a tail that was supposedly fathered by Luke Skywalker! I love this episode. Shapeshifters are much more fun in The X-Files than in Supernatural. Ooooh, now the shapeshifter has turned into Mulder. And Fake Mulder is trying to get Scully drunk for #notsosecretsexytimes. AMAZING.
Meet Fake Mulder, y'all. You can tell he's fake, because he's smiley. Source.
  • WTF, killer bees. WTF, Skinner deleting case files from Mulder's computer. WTF, Skinner stealing corpses. WTF, Skinner burning corpses. WTF, Skinner is doing all of this claiming to be Mulder. URGH, Skinner in nothing but his tighty whiteys. Oh. Okay. Skinner is doing it all so that Cigarette Smoking Man will give him a cure to Scully's head cancer. 
  • Uh. The killer bees are carrying SMALLPOX. Aaaaaand Mulder knows that Skinner's responsible. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. 
  • Creepy haunted bowling alley of creepiness. And now Scully's seeing ghosts. And now there's a creepy stabby nurse. And it's deep and meaningful o'clock. Jeez, Mulder. Instead of being an asshat, why don't you just give Scully a hug so that she doesn't spend her time crying in her car???
  • Hmm. Mulder is having weird childhood flashbacks. And now he's covered in Not His Blood, and is at a motel in Rhode Island. Aaaaand now Scully is helping Naked Mulder out of the bath (#secretsexytimes). Wait. So. Mulder has apparently murdered two people because he was high on ketamine? WHUT. 
Source
  • OMG. Mulder just accused his mum of having an affair with Cigarette Smoking Man. AWWWWKWARD TURTLE. And now Samantha has gone from being abducted by aliens to being the victim of a serial killer to being taken away by Cigarette Smoking Man and raised as his daughter. WTF, Chris Carter? MAKE A DECISION!!! 
  • Scully is reporting on the illegitimacy of Mulder's work. Uh, RUDE. And now we're in the Yukon, and I'm confused... 
  • The final episode of the fourth season, and we're only *just* learning that Scully has a brother?? 
  • Hmm, alien corpse. And Mulder doing some VERY ill advised camping in the Yukon. And now they've brought the alien corpse back to Washington. Surely lowering a block of ice containing an alien corpse into steaming hot water = steaming alien corpse??
Source
  • Wait. The alien is fake. And Mulder's crying because it's fake. And now Scully's telling the FBI review panel people that Mulder was so devastated about the fake dead alien that he killed himself. CLIFF HANGER ENDING!!

To be honest, I was kind of disappointed by this season. Way less #secretsexytimes. Way less interesting episodes. Way too many episodes featuring Skinner in various stages of undress. Way too many "Scully has a nosebleed from her brain cancer" incidents. No future famous people at all. LAAAAAAAME. But there WERE some truly spectacular lines, such as the one I've used as the title!! So I guess that's something?

Who else finds Cigarette Smoking Man to be a boring pain in the arse?? And does anyone remember the babies with tails shapeshifter episode? Because you should. It. Was. AWESOME.

K xx

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Things I Like Thursday, Volume 12


Seen random stuff on the internet that you find hilarious or just want to share? Head over to Gina's to link up!

Yup, it's Thursday again! And I'm once again suffering from a case of super sucky internet. Hopefully by this time tomorrow, it will all be sorted out and I'll basically never have to worry about going over our download limit again. But considering this internet change has now been dragging on for almost a week, I'm not holding my breath...

How slow is it, you ask? I tried to test my internet speed earlier, and the test website kept giving me error messages because it couldn't detect my network...

ANYWAY.

Let's start with this kind of random but awesome photo shoot of famous meals in literature. This alone should be a sign that uni started back this week - I'm all about the books again!!

As a small piece of self-promotion, you should also check out the latest post in Lor's and my Buffy recaps. Because we're HILARIOUS. 

Next, we have a very VERY young Ryan Gosling getting his dance on in a Mormon talent show. We're talking pre-Mickey Mouse Club Ryan Gosling here. AMAZING.


And finally, we have Gene Kelly tap dancing on roller skates. Sure, the tap dancing noises are dubbed in afterwards. They always are in old movies. But HOLY CRAP. TAP DANCING. ON ROLLER SKATES. This is crazy impressive.

Found something online this week that you desperately need to share? Head over to Gina's and link up!

K xx

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Ancient History, Volume XX

In the last installment, there was some trauma. And y'all should get travel insurance any time you leave the country, JUST IN CASES. (Seriously)

In the end, I had less than 24 hours in Lima the second time around. This meant I didn't see Ness from the time I left the hospital until I got back to Melbourne six weeks later. The idea of spending six weeks travelling on my own was more than a little terrifying. Thankfully, there were three other people from the Peru trip going on to Ecaudor with me, which eased me into things!

Our trip to Ecuador started with London Bound's (totally a code name) need to obtain a Filet o' Fish. She had (and I assume still has) this thing that she has to eat a Filet o' Fish in every country she visits. And she hadn't yet had one in Peru. Luckily, there was a Macca's (Mickey D's to you, America) at the airport and - after waiting FORTY FIVE MINUTES (seriously, who waits 45 minutes for Macca's?!) for the breakfast menu to end - she finally had her Filet o' Fish. Things were off to a good start.

The flight to Quito was uneventful, with the exception of them telling us we were about to land approximately 90 seconds before the wheels hit the tarmac. We got to our hotel without any problems, and shortly after that, we headed into the old city to have a look around, and possibly find a tapas bar. Sadly, everything was closed, and there was an ENORMOUS religious festival going on. After getting caught in several panic-inducing crushes, we decided to abandon ship on the old city and headed back to the new town. By the time we got back there, we were all starving (due to it being 5pm and the fact that we hadn't eaten since that Macca's at 11am). And so the tapas snack that we were planning on having suddenly turned into "let's each order an appetiser plate and stuff ourselves on mozzarella sticks and potato skins". Whoops?

The next day, London Bound got a roommate. This was something of a shock to her, because during the Peru trip, there were an odd number of girls so she'd had a room to herself the entire trip. Her new roommate was lovely, but was also about sixty, from Queensland, and on her first ever overseas trip. She was travelling with nothing but a carry-on suitcase, which contained three changes of clothing. She showered in her clothes to save on going to the laundromat. And every rum and Coke she drank, she sighed a little because it wasn't Bundaberg rum. So yes. She was a little...eccentric.

We spent a good chunk of the rest of the day out at "The City at the Middle of the World", otherwise known as an uber-tacky tourist attraction build at(ish) the equator. 

Now is the point where I confess that I never realised that the equator ran through Ecuador before I went there. Uh, Past Kirsti? EQUATOR. ECUADOR. These are not dissimilar words. You are a moron.


Past Me is in the north and south hemispheres at the same time. WHEEEE!!

Once we'd finished taking typical tourist photos, we headed back to the hotel and pottered about the new town until it was time for our briefing. There, we discovered that this tour would ALSO include a Watermelon-esque couple, although not nearly as bad as Mr and Mrs Watermelon. This young married couple were taking a year long, round-the-world honeymoon, and her parents had decided to travel with them (AWWWWWWWWKWARD) for a month. So at the briefing, her mother asked all kinds of questions like "Will we need to bring our own bed linen on the boat?" 

Can we just stop and marvel at that question for a second? Because not only did she think that it was a possibility. She thought it was such a STRONG possibility that she carried sheets and towels ALL THE WAY FROM AUSTRALIA. How she had space in her luggage for anything but those is completely beyond me! (And no. We didn't need to supply our own linen) 

The four of us from the Peru trip had dinner together that night at the most incredible restaurant of EVER. If you ever happen to be in the new town of Quito and feel in need of a bite to eat, GO TO BOCA DE LOBO. Because it is AMAAAAAAAZING. They have spectacular cocktails and quite possibly the most fantastic raclettes of EVER. (Although I'm not sure how it would be possible to go wrong with a giant plate of melted cheese!) #OMNOMNOMNOM

They also had quite spectacularly enormous hot chocolates:

Their motto was "Drink and live forever, or die trying", and some of their cocktails had truly amazing names. Case in point: London Bound ordered a "Little Bitch from Hell". Apparently it was delicious!

After we'd stuffed ourselves with cheese and cocktails and hot chocolates, we headed back to the hotel to watch Ecuadorian Dancing with the Stars (it wasn't very good) and pack up our things yet again. Because first thing in the morning, we were off to the airport to board a flight to the Galapagos!!

But that's a story for next time...

K xx
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