Monday, October 29, 2012

Movie Monday: Hocus Pocus


That's right, kids. It's time for my one and only concession to Halloween!!
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I love the crap out of this movie, no matter how many years I go without seeing it. I think I might actually have to go and buy it on DVD so that I can watch it regularly, that's how awesome it is.

Reasons why Hocus Pocus is awesome:
1. Bette Midler as Winifred Sanderson. She. Is. Brilliant.
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2. There's a talking cat. And a MUCH better talking cat than Salem in Sabrina. Just FYI.
3. The book. It's still creepifying.
4. Sarah Jessica Parker. This is literally the only thing I've ever seen her in where I don't want to punch her in the face. (And yes, I just checked her IMDB page to clarify that statement. I stand by it.)
5. The scene where the sisters sing "I Put a Spell on You" at the Halloween party.


6. Tricking the witches into the kiln with a French tape.
7. Kathy Najimy. Unlike SJP, Kathy Najimy pretty much steals the show whatever she's in. This is no exception.
8. The mother's Halloween costume - 1980s Madonna.
9. Okay, you guys? This completely blew my mind when I found out. Thackery Binx? IS TIMOTHY MCGEE FROM NCIS. (aka Sean Murray)
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10. The scene where Dani hides in the cupboard and spies on Max hugging his pillow and calling it Alison. Seriously awkward in real life, hilarious on film.
11. Billy Butcherson. Who doesn't love a snarky zombie?!
12. The sleazy bus driver.
13. The local bullies, Jay and 'Ice'. Ice, incidentally, is played by Larry Bagby, better known as Larry, the Sunnydale High bully from Buffy.
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14. The scene where the Sanderson sisters think they've met Satan.
15. Flying on a vacuum cleaner.
16. Dani. Sure, she's a pain in the arse little sister. But she's also hilariously sassy a lot of the time.
17. The scene where Billy cuts open the stitches across his mouth and starts yelling at Winifred.
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18. Stripy socks.
19. It makes Salem look approximately a thousand times cooler than it really is.
20. Look, it's just freaking awesome, okay????
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Plus, the following quotes:
- "I. Am. Beautiful. Boys will love me!"
- "You should have punched him." "He would have killed me!" "At least you would have died like a man."
- "Max likes your yabos."
- "Oh, come on. It's just a bunch of hocus pocus."
- "I summon the burning rain of death!"
- "Dost thou comprehend???"
- "I've always wanted a child. And now I think I'll have one. ON TOAST!!"
- "I AM CALM!"
- "Go to Hell!" "Oh, I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely."
- "Well, what does it say?" "Well, it says to form a circle of salt to protect from zombies, witches, and old boyfriends."
- "Max, I'm not going up there. My friends at school told me all about that place. It's weird!" "Dani, this is the girl of my dreams!" "So take her to the movies like a normal person!!"
- "WHY? Why was I cursed with such IDIOT sisters??" "Just lucky, I guess."
- ""Oh, look. Another glorious morning. Makes me sick."
- "Thackery Binx, what took thee so long?" "I'm sorry, Emily. I had to wait three hundred years for a virgin to light a candle."
- "Don't get your knickers in a twist! We're just three kindly old spinster ladies." "Spending a quiet evening at home." "Sucking the lives out of little children!"
- "Sisters, All Hallow's Eve has become a night of frolic, where children wear costumes and run amok!" "Amok! Amok, amok, amok, amok, amok... [Winifred punches Sarah in the stomach] Ugh!"
- "Well, tell me then, what do you call this contraption?" "I call it... a bus." "A bus. And its purpose?" "To convey such beautiful creatures such as yourselves to your most... forbidden desires." "We desire... children." "Hey, it may take me a couple of tries, but I don't think there will be a problem."
- "Wench! Trollop! You buck-toothed, mop-riding, firefly from hell! I've waited centuries to say that." "Say what you want, just don't breathe on me!"
- "It's the chocolate covered finger of a man named Clark!"
- "What is this place?" "It reeks of children!" "It is a prison for children."
- "Hello, I want my book. Bonjour, je veux mon livre."
- "I will always be with you."

What's your favourite movie to watch at Halloween?

K xx

15 comments:

  1. Best Halloween movie ever! (Also, I JUST found out about the Thackery/McGee thing. Mind. Blown.)

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    Replies
    1. RIGHT?!?!?!?! It seems so obvious once you know about it...

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  2. Yes. YES TO EVERYTHING.

    And, I flipped the hell out when I figured out last year that Thackery Binx was Timothy McGee. I still cannot believe it.

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    1. I feel like the world just got a little bit more confusing as a result of this discovery.

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  3. I too am shocked about the whole McGee thing, but that just makes him more awesome :)

    Also I haven't seen this movie in ages! I think I need to fix that.

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    1. also, totally with you on the SJP thing.

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    2. You really do need to fix it. And thank you for supporting my stance on SJP.

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  4. I am right there with you on all of this! Especially no. 19 ;-)

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  5. This is my favorite Halloween movie. HANDS DOWN. So awesome. I need to go watch it right now.

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    Replies
    1. I wish I owned it on DVD so I could watch it again right now...

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  6. Aw, I kind of like SJP - I mean she annoys me, but I also find her strangely comforting. Plus, I really like "If Lucy Fell" for unknown reasons. It's pretty crap.

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    Replies
    1. Weirdly, I have less of a problem with old school SJP. We're talking LA Story, Hocus Pocus, Footloose kind of SJP. Anything since (and including) Sex and the City? NOPE. Can't deal with it.

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