Tuesday, October 2, 2012

In which people are weird, part 2

Remember back in June when I vlogged about all the bizarro Google searches that have led people to my blog? I think it's about time I did another one. Except, you know, without the vlogging because I'll be vlogging my 500th post next week(!!), and two vlogs in two weeks is way too much like hard work!

So. What random crap has led people to my blog lately?

Jedward laptop. Dude, I have no idea what you were looking for. Is this a laptop used by Jedward? Or a Jedward THEMED laptop?!

Terrifying scarecrow. You mean like this?
Thanks for THOSE nightmares, Supernatural... Also, source.
Eagle fighting tiger. I've been wondering about this one for a while now. Is it an eagle fighting a tiger? Or is it a tiger that's capable of fighting eagles?? Jeez, people. Structure your searches.

John Barrowman emphasis on wrong syllable. I...have no idea what this means. Is it Barrowman putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable? Or mispronouncing his name - like John BarROWman??

IMDB storyline the boy see in his dream that his girlfriend will died in a taxi accident which is a cello player. Seriously??? I have no idea how this led you to my blog. And I have a similar lack of idea about what you're looking for.

Jedward costumes for kids. OH MY GOD. IF YOU HAVE LITTLE KIDS, PLEASE DO THIS FOR HALLOWEEN????? (I'm looking at you, Gina)

Pippa Middleton fingernails. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh????

In the movie Independence Day, what newspaper was the President (Bill Pullman) reading when he was told of the attacks? Dude. That is one hell of a specific search. I can't imagine why you'd ever need to know that. I don't know the answer, and it's probably a fake newspaper. You know, just FYI.

Steampunk Ned Kelly. I have to admit, I would read the crap out of a steampunk Ned Kelly book.

Two person llama costume. As far as I'm concerned, any two person costume is a pretty terrible idea. When it comes to this, I really want to know if the front person has to spit like a llama to make it seem authentic.

Pelvic thrust homestay gif. I have literally no idea how the 'homestay' part relates to the rest of it. And I don't really want to know what you'd use such a gif for anyway.

Velociraptor cheesecake. No idea what they were after, but any mention of velociraptors is okay by me.

Frozen peas for Congress. Are Congress in need of frozen peas?!

Pin the owie on the clown. As far as I'm concerned, this should read "cut the head off the clown", because in addition to teaching me that scarecrows are creepy, Supernatural taught me that clowns are creepy.

Jude Law Patrick Downey Jr. Oh, honey. No. Let's review. This is Patrick Dempsey, star of Grey's Anatomy and Sweet Home Alabama:
Source
THIS is Robert Downey Jr, total badass and star of The Avengers, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and Sherlock Holmes (which co-starred Jude Law):
Source
Do not get them confused. Kim will probably kill you...

Ugly cake. Fuck you very much, my cakes are NOT ugly.

Terrible passport photo, look very depressed. Fuck you very much, my passport photo is NOT terrible, and the Australian government mandates that you have to look depressed, dammit!! >.<

Make a kneeling man out of fondant. I have no idea why you would want to do this, but it reminds me of the time in high school when we saved a bunch of wax from Mini Babybel cheeses over several weeks and used it to make a little sculpture of a man sitting on the toilet. Clearly, we had too much time on our hands...

David Tennant fashion icon for boxers. Do you mean because of the boxer shorts he wore in The Decoy Bride that were covered in quills and ink wells? Either way, I'm on board with this search.
Source

Famous Egypt building. Really????? *facepalm*

Good riddance you traitor cake. I kind of want an excuse to make one of these. Because LOL FOREVER.

Gandalf the Grey in Chamber of Secrets. Okay, you guys. I mentioned this in part 1, because apparently people have found my blog multiple times by searching this. Apparently there's a rumour that when Harry goes into Dumbledore's study at the end of Chamber of Secrets, and the camera pans around over all the portraits of past heads of Hogwarts, that one of them is Gandalf. WRONG. It's an old dude with a beard. So stop searching for pictures of this. Because it didn't happen. Mmmmkay??

So. What weird Google searches have you had recently??

K xx

24 comments:

  1. This is so funny! I made a couple of these ones many years ago in another blog because I just felt so shocked about the kind of things people googled and how on earth did that search lead them to my blog.

    And funny thing is that today I was thinking of doing it for Joy of Sooz. But girl, those searches, they are truly unique, can't compete to that!

    Most of the people land of my blog because they search naughty pictures of Harry Potter. I don't have them! They want Luna Lovegood and Bellatrix Lestrange the most. No Hermione. Oh and this week I got an 'anal tattoo'. Yes. No idea. Don't want to know. Weird people.

    So ... you don't have a recipe for a velociraptor cheesecake?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly, no. But I do now kind of want to make a cheesecake and decorate it with velociraptors... Also, that is a horrifying search term O.o

      Delete
  2. That last one... ::face palm:: Some people... just.... UGH I don't even know.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jedward-anything is wonderful. All parents, particularly those with twins, need to dress their children as Jedward for Halloween.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FOR SERIOUS. Bonus points for super pointy hair.

      Delete
  4. I have no idea what a Jedward is. I'd google it, but apparently, that would just lead me back to your blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know I tweeted you their song from this year's Eurovision, but here's last year's which would make for an even more hilarious costume solely because of the hair: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2huxEkE1GD4

      Delete
  5. I'm envious of your crazy search terms. The only search terms on my stats page all make perfect sense. That's no fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do have a LOT of search terms that make perfect sense. But every so often, I get completely batshit crazy ones that make no sense at all!

      Delete
  6. My best ever search term was tardis skatboard, but in general they are fairly boring. I had to laugh for at least 5 mins reading yours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dunno, TARDIS skateboard is pretty spectacular.

      Delete
  7. You funny! Thanks for always making me laugh. (Because it's apparently all about ME, you see. :P)

    And WORRRRD on "cut the head off the clown" -- Stephen King's "It" taught me that not only are clowns creepy, they're eeeeeviiiiiiiil and evil some more, and OMG the PURE EVIL!! (Seriously, don't watch that movie. My folks let us watch this back in '92, I was 7...nice going, parents!)

    Heh.

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course it's about you! ;) And OMG. Can't believe your parents let you watch that at the age of 7!! I'd STILL be having nightmares...

      xx

      Delete
  8. Well... My blog is called Cum Tacent Clament, which is Latin but does suggest an English word with a rather different meaning. You can only imagine what uses of that word people go searching for. And I can only imagine how disappointed they must be when they get my blog instead.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG, I can't even begin to imagine how creepifying your search terms must be. I thought the one I got earlier in the year for a 70s porno about Greenpeace activists and sasquatches was bad, but yours must be so much worse...

      Delete
  9. Well I can help this guy out:
    IMDB storyline the boy see in his dream that his girlfriend will died in a taxi accident which is a cello player

    The movie they're looking for is 'If Only'
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0332136/
    Starring Jennifer Love Hewitt and Paul Nicholls.

    He lives a day and then sees her die, only to wake up next to her the next morning. Groundhog day. So he aims to make it the very best day of her life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm both impressed and a little terrified that you know what this movie was based on that terrible description!!

      Delete
  10. Hahah I love this!! I actually have a lot of blog traffic for a really old post about how a doctor told me my thumb infection could be gonorrhea. Even though I was a virgin. Search "gonorrhea pustule." You'll probably find it. Crazy people with gonorrhea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh God, that is a TERRIBLE thing to have leading people to your blog!!

      Delete
  11. I'd definitely like to see a good riddance you traitor cake!

    A weird one I had recently was "clipart twins moustache" ...huh??

    ReplyDelete
  12. I was already aware that clowns are creepy, but Supernatural definitely confirmed it. Also, there's another clown episode of Supernatural in the newest season on Netflix and I am kind of dreading it. The "good riddance you traitor" cake might send a mixed message if it's actually a tasty cake that you baked for them. I feel like you would have to not put in sugar or something so they really get the message. I feel like a good ol' passive-aggressive "good riddance you traitor" sticky note would take a lot less time and get the point across without being confusing.

    ReplyDelete

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