Avast mateys! Did ye know it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day? We're devils, we're black sheep, we're really bad eggs, drink up me hearteys, yo ho!! Be ye talkin' like a pirate??
Okay, I'm done now. I can't keep up the pirate voice like I used to. MOVING ON...
You guys, I want you to meet the most infuriating member of my household. This?
Is Needy Plant, quite possibly the saddest looking house plant on the planet. And Needy Plant is also the bane of my existence.
Yeah, yeah, I know. First world problems and all that. But you guys? Needy Plant is SO FREAKING NEEDY. I watered him LESS THAN 48 HOURS before I took that photo. He's a bleeding Spathiphyllum!! They usually only need watering once a week at most. But Needy Plant? Nope. Every day and a half, his leaves start to droop and within 48 hours of watering, Needy Plant looks like he's on his last legs.
Yes, I anthropomorphised a houseplant. Deal with it.
In contrast, here's Needy Plant's next door neighbour.
Also a Spathiphyllum. Watered at the exact same time. Needy Plant has had TWO subsequent waterings, and this guy is still sitting there all "Water? Nope, I'm fine. Don't mind me, I'll just sit here converting carbon dioxide into oxygen. It's all good!!"
Incidentally, the only way to get Needy Plant to NOT require attention every 48 hours is to put him in the shower, and effectively make it rain for 20 minutes. At which point Needy Plant will go for about 72 HOURS before starting to get needy again. BUT the shower drain becomes clogged with dirt and plant matter, so it's not really a win overall.
And Needy Plant lives on the stairs, which means that I walk past Needy Plant about ten times a day, but never when I have a water carrying device with me. So I live in a constant state of "Uuuuugh, I should go downstairs and get the watering can to deal with Needy Plant. BUT I JUST GOT UP HERE. I'll use this empty drink bottle/bowl/Tupperware container instead." Turns out? It's kind of hard to carry a bowl of water half way down a flight of (carpeted) stairs and then tip it into a plant without spilling any.
The morals of this story?
1. Needy Plant is needy, yo.
2. I'm REALLY lazy.
3. I probably shouldn't write entire blog posts about anthropomorphised house plants...
Does your house have a Needy Plant? If so, I feel like there should be a support group or something. Alternatively, are you a plant whisperer and can you offer advice on how to deal with the whole Needy Plant situation??