Monday, August 27, 2012

Movie Monday: Clueless

After last week's sob-fest, I thought it was time to cover another spectacular blast from the past that I will never get sick of! Because honestly? Who doesn't love the crap out of this movie???

Reasons why Clueless is awesome.
1. Alicia Silverstone. There's a reason why she didn't have to audition for this role. She IS Cher Horowitz.
2. The soundtrack.
3. It's based on Jane Austen. Considering Emma is my least favourite Austen book, I'm thrilled that someone turned it into something hilariously watchable.
4. Paul Rudd.
5. The scene where Cher corrects Josh's pretentious girlfriend about Hamlet.
6. Wallace Shawn. Incontheivable!
7. Cher's closet.
8. Cher's dad. HILARIOUS.
9. Dionne's ridiculous hats.
Seriously, y'all. What IS that hat??? Also, source.
10. Brittany Murphy *sob*
11. Tai and Travis. They're so adorable.
12. Donald Faison.
13. Josh's expression when Cher walks down the stairs in her ridiculous tiny Calvin Klein dress.
14. Breckin Meyer.
15. Josh dancing with Tai at the party.
16. Cher's attempt at baking. LOL FOREVER.
17. Did I mention Paul Rudd?
18. When Cher tries to seduce Christian by flicking her hair and falls off the bed.
19. Directed by Amy Heckerling, who's also responsible for one of my other favourite teen movies, Loser.
20. Cher's "most capable looking outfit" for the driver's test. AHAHAHAHAHA.
21. The scene with Josh and Cher sitting on the stairs. Adorbs.
22. Cher's driving.

Plus, the following quotes:
- "Hello? That was a stop sign!" "I totally paused!!"
- "Ew! Get off of me! Ugh, as IF!"
- "Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972!"
- "I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy."
- "Mr Hall, I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies!"
- "Why should I listen to you, anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive." "That was way harsh, Tai."
- "What the hell is that?" "A dress." "Says who?" "Calvin Klein."
- "Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I'm his daughter."
- "You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?" "Totally based on my powers of persuasion, you proud?" "Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades."
- "Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose." "Well, there goes your social life."
- "Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road." "I am. You try driving in platforms."
- "Don't tell me those brain-dead lowlifes are calling me again." "They *are* your parents."
- "So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so."
- "'Second notice on three outstanding tickets.' I don't remember getting a first notice!" "The ticket is the first notice! I didn't even know you could get tickets without a license." "Oh, you can get tickets anytime."
- "Well you can guess what happened next...AS IF. I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky!"
- "Do you think she's pretty?" "No, she's a full-on Monet." "What's a monet?" "It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?" "Hagsville." "See?"
- "And could the suicide attempts PLEASE be postponed until the next period?"
- "Where are you?" "I'm just having a snack at my girlfriend's." "Where, in Kuwait?" "Is that in the Valley?"
- "Sporadically. It means once in a while. Try to use it in a sentence."
- "I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and like 3 pieces of liquorice."
- "So does anyone have any final thoughts on Cher's oration? Elton?" "Yeah. I can't find my Cranberries CD. I gotta go to the quad before anyone snags it."
- "Been shopping with Dr. Seuss?" "Well at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my back pack." "It's faux!"
- "You can't be the absolute and final word on drivers' licences?" "Girlie, as far as you're concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV."
- "We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree." "Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees. Why don't you just hire a gardener?" "You know, maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause - make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is..." "Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy, and as soon I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance." "Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock." "Oh, that'd be reason enough for me."
- "Oh look, Josh is dancing with Tai, he never dances!" "I can see why."
- "Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. Fine holiday fun!"

On the basis that I can't deal with the idea of anyone not loving this movie, I ask you this: What's your favourite line from Clueless?

K xx


  1. Clueless is one of my absolute most favourite movies. Plus, I've had a crush on Paul Rudd ever since. SIGH.

    1. Clueless really is one of those movies that you can never ever get sick of watching.

  2. Replies
    1. I forgot that the W-hands thing came from Clueless because I'm so used to seeing John Barrowman do it in Doctor Who that I thought it came from there. FAIL.

  3. Hah, I completely fail at remembering movie quotes with the possible exception of Chicken Run, for some reason. This is such a fun movie, though, and I probably like it because Emma is one of my favourite Austens. So it works regardless of how one feels about the original inspiration for the storyline!

    1. I'm pretty sure the only line I remember from Chicken Run is "But I don't want to be a pie!".

  4. OMG I was like 10 when this movie first came out and I loved it - even though I didn't understand 1/2 of it. I also thought that this was really what high school was like so I took good notes. "Whatever" was also basically our class motto. lol. Then when I was older and actually UNDERSTOOD the lines - I loved it even more. This movie is 100% AMAZING. I quote it often and I love that with every single line and every single point I knew EXACTLY what you were talking about. My favorite line... UGH I CAN'T PICK ONE THEY ARE ALL SO BRILLIANT. WHATEVER I'M OUTIE!

    1. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I didn't understand half of it when I first saw it too. I think we need to bring "Whatever, I'm outie!" back. Yes? Yes.

  5. Hahah 'hagsville' is a definite favourite. I just could never find a way to work it into a sentence without feeling really nasty!

    1. I knoooooooooooooow. There are SO many amazing lines that are just too mean to use in everyday conversation. I keep secretly hoping that I'll end up with an arch-nemesis so that I can use them all on that person. MWAHAHAHAHA

  6. Hahahaha I love love love "Clueless"! And I love the quotes you pulled out of it! EPIC. This movie made me laugh so hard every time I saw it, that I cannot NOT watch it over again. Ahhhhh... Thank you for this blog post!

    1. You're totally welcome! I'm honestly surprised that it took me this long to get around to covering Clueless.

  7. Another classic favourite, I love this film! Like others have said, picking a favourite quote is hard though because all the lines are awesome. I'll just have to go and watch it again, and get back to you ;)

    1. Sounds like an excellent plan - I heartily approve!!

  8. Wow, I don't think I've watched this in at least 10 years.

  9. I always wanted to be able to pull off the short skirt with knee highs and pumps - it was the dream. (and the shirt tied around my middriff - CLEARLY.)

    1. YES. ME TOO. And the matching jacket! I think basically I just wanted an excuse to wear heels all the time...

  10. Classic stories turned romantic comedy have a special place in my heart.

    Clueless is wonderful. Paul Rudd is beautiful and I love laughing at all the fashion in the movie, because it's just hilarious.

    Also...favorite line is for sure the stop sign line.

    1. You laugh at the fashion, my inner teenager sighs, and still secretly wants to pull off mini skirts and over the knee socks with black patent heels. Oh, mid-90s. You were a terrible time for fashion...


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