After last week's sob-fest, I thought it was time to cover another spectacular blast from the past that I will never get sick of! Because honestly? Who doesn't love the crap out of this movie???
Reasons why Clueless is awesome.
1. Alicia Silverstone. There's a reason why she didn't have to audition for this role. She IS Cher Horowitz.
3. It's based on Jane Austen. Considering Emma is my least favourite Austen book, I'm thrilled that someone turned it into something hilariously watchable.
4. Paul Rudd.
6. Wallace Shawn. Incontheivable!
7. Cher's closet.
8. Cher's dad. HILARIOUS.
9. Dionne's ridiculous hats.
|Seriously, y'all. What IS that hat??? Also, source.|
11. Tai and Travis. They're so adorable.
12. Donald Faison.
13. Josh's expression when Cher walks down the stairs in her ridiculous tiny Calvin Klein dress.
14. Breckin Meyer.
16. Cher's attempt at baking. LOL FOREVER.
17. Did I mention Paul Rudd?
18. When Cher tries to seduce Christian by flicking her hair and falls off the bed.
20. Cher's "most capable looking outfit" for the driver's test. AHAHAHAHAHA.
21. The scene with Josh and Cher sitting on the stairs. Adorbs.
22. Cher's driving.
Plus, the following quotes:
- "Hello? That was a stop sign!" "I totally paused!!"
- "Ew! Get off of me! Ugh, as IF!"
- "Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972!"
- "I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy."
- "Mr Hall, I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies!"- "Why should I listen to you, anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive." "That was way harsh, Tai."
- "What the hell is that?" "A dress." "Says who?" "Calvin Klein."
- "Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I'm his daughter."
- "You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?" "Totally based on my powers of persuasion, you proud?" "Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades."
- "Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose." "Well, there goes your social life."
- "Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road." "I am. You try driving in platforms."
- "Don't tell me those brain-dead lowlifes are calling me again." "They *are* your parents."
- "So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so."
- "'Second notice on three outstanding tickets.' I don't remember getting a first notice!" "The ticket is the first notice! I didn't even know you could get tickets without a license." "Oh, you can get tickets anytime."
- "Well you can guess what happened next...AS IF. I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky!"
- "Do you think she's pretty?" "No, she's a full-on Monet." "What's a monet?" "It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?" "Hagsville." "See?"
- "And could the suicide attempts PLEASE be postponed until the next period?"
- "Where are you?" "I'm just having a snack at my girlfriend's." "Where, in Kuwait?" "Is that in the Valley?"
- "Sporadically. It means once in a while. Try to use it in a sentence."
- "I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and like 3 pieces of liquorice."
- "So does anyone have any final thoughts on Cher's oration? Elton?" "Yeah. I can't find my Cranberries CD. I gotta go to the quad before anyone snags it."
- "Been shopping with Dr. Seuss?" "Well at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my back pack." "It's faux!"
- "You can't be the absolute and final word on drivers' licences?" "Girlie, as far as you're concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV."
- "We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree." "Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees. Why don't you just hire a gardener?" "You know, maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause - make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is..." "Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy, and as soon I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance." "Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock." "Oh, that'd be reason enough for me."
- "Oh look, Josh is dancing with Tai, he never dances!" "I can see why."
- "Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. Fine holiday fun!"
On the basis that I can't deal with the idea of anyone not loving this movie, I ask you this: What's your favourite line from Clueless?