That's right, kids. I've now finished season 2 of The X-Files, and I STILL have a lot of thoughts about it. And you guys get to read them all, because I can't keep these thoughts rattling around in my head. THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM, YOU GUYS. So you're welcome, I guess?
|"Really? She's blogging about us AGAIN????" "I know, right?"|
- Mulder is rocking the double denim in Puerto Rico. It's SUPER attractive.
- Eeeeeeeeuw, giant creepy liver fluke in the sewers. Reminds me of the episode of Buffy where the swim team get turned into sea beasties...
|Gross. Also, source.|
- Mulder, your hair looks like a toilet brush.
- Oh hai, Krycek. You're a tremendouche.
- Aaaaaah, the mobile phones of enormousness.
- Nice budgie smugglers, Mulder. EXCEPT THAT NOT.
- I'm pretty sure classic Doctor Who had better aliens than this...
- Scully just wrote a cheque for $11.14 worth of groceries. IT'S CALLED CASH, DANA.
- This sticking an X on the window with masking tape thing is so Batman.
- Oh, Scully. I'm sorry they put you on such a ghetto life support machine. It looks like it was made by MacGyver out of some toothpicks and a balloon...
- Holy crap. Gillian Anderson's post baby having boobs are MASSIVE. It reminds me of Robin Hood: Men in Tights - "Awwwww, Master Robin, you lost your arms in battle... But you grew some NICE boobs!!"
- "I've always been intrigued by women named BJ." God, Mulder. You're pure class, aren't you...
- Urgh, these mushrooms erupting from people's throats are really vile...
|Double gross. Also, source|
- And now we've added genetic modification to the list of things they've had to explain (along with IVF).
- Scully seems to be having nightmares about The Master, three years before Buffy first aired...
- Okay. I'm having issues with this now. Scully has spent however many episodes of this season doing autopsies on murder victims in FBI cases. And yet she's grossed out over the victims of a crazy guy who cuts off their hair as souvenirs??
- WTF. In the VERY NEXT EPISODE there are victims who are missing their eyes and heart, and THAT she's totally fine with????
- OMG. These devil worshippers are doing "The rite of Azazel". Someone check for women burning up pinned to the ceiling of their kid's nursery!! (Any Saltgunners out there?? Appropriately, this episode was directed by Kim Manners!) (If all of that made no sense to you, don't worry. It's a Supernatural thing.)
- Apparently you could get perfect mobile reception in a root cellar in 1994. I can barely get phone reception in the CBD some days. Perhaps we should reintroduce brick phones with pull out aerials!
- 1994: a time before airbags in cars.
- Oh my God. The big dude with no neck and the giant stabby needle which turns people into green bubbly stuff (aka The Alien Bounty Hunter) is Luke from season 1 of Buffy!!
- Nice bumbag, Scully. And it appears to have had an undetectable extension charm put on it by Hermione Granger - Scully's got a phone, a gun, her badge, and some kind of lockpick mechanism in there...
- Okay. I'm pretty sure the bridge that Mulder's sister/alien clone of sister falls off is the same as the bridge in the pilot of Supernatural. (Although the internet seems to not back me up on this...)
- Wheeeeeeee, invisible rampaging elephants!!
- Ahahahaha, really crappy quality video calls cost $125 an hour and have to be made from a copy store.
- Ew, Scully. A mixture of sardine water, lemon juice and the contents of a snowglobe? Given a choice between that and water that makes you old, I'd take the old age water...
- Mmmm, creepy conjoined twin weirdness... And a dude hammering a nail into his nose... That said, I love this episode - the first of the more comedic, snarky additions. (The title of this post came from this episode)
- This lady just tied her two year old kid to a sink by his leash(!) so that she could pee. And then ghosts untied her kid, and he got killed by a tiny train. But seriously, why would you leave your kid tied up in a public bathroom at a theme park?? Has she not heard of stranger danger???
- Wheeeee, creepy Romanian grandmother!! Oh. She just got pecked to death by dead roosters. Of course.
|Dead roosters about to come to life and peck granny's eyes out. Also, source.|
- Eeeeeeeeeeuw. Decaying boar filled with bugs and oozing pustules in the Costa Rican rainforest. WHY WOULD YOU TOUCH THAT??? Sorry, scientist dude. You clearly deserved to die.
- Monk!! Except instead of being a quirky detective, his shadow is sending people into some kind of swirly portal in the floor. I wonder if this is where they got the idea for Sliders from...
- Wheeeee, mad cow disease!!! Well. Creutzfeldt-Jakobs, anyway. And caused by cannibalism. YUM YUM.
- Nice Chesty Bonds singlet, Mulder. EXCEPT THAT NOT.
- Hahaha, Mulder punched Skinner in the face, and now Skinner looks like he's got a hickey next to his mouth. Lol forever.
- OH MY GOD, KRYCEK. WHY DID YOU KILL MULDER'S DAD??? Also, how very Psycho of you to hide in the shower.
- So Scully put Mulder into bed, and in the next scene he's in his underwear. WHO UNDRESSED HIM???? HMM????? WHO???????
- Um. Scully shot Mulder, bandaged him up, drugged him, put him in a car, and spent two days driving them to New Mexico. And now he's shirtless again. Clearly, Scully is a crazy stalker person.
- Mulder gets perfect mobile reception in a box car buried at the bottom of a canyon on a Navajo reservation in New Mexico. Those 90s mobile phones were SUPER powerful!
|"Come on down, Scully. The reception is excellent. Also, there's alien bodies."|
Who else hated Krycek? Did you also wonder if Scully was secretly a crazy stalker person? Were you creeped out by the episode with the school teacher who was secretly the Devil, like I was? And were the terms "bumbag", "budgie smugglers" and "Chesty Bonds singlet" too Australian for you?? Because I can translate if required... ;)