OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS. I HAVE REAL INTERNET AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is quite possibly the most exciting thing of ever. I can use Youtube again! Pinterest! Tumblr! I don't have to tweet from my phone! I don't have to use Gmail in HTML! VISIT *ALL* THE WEBSITES!
I fully expect to have gone through our entire internet allocation by the end of the week, the way I'm going at the moment. Even my computer was excited to have it back - the first thing it did when I turned it on this morning was download 95MB worth of antivirus updates...
I love the crap out of this movie. I think I first saw it in about 1995, and I still quote chunks of it on an almost daily basis. Because it is SPECTACULAR.
Reasons why Robin Hood: Men in Tights is awesome:
1. Cary Elwes. I love him more as Westley in The Princess Bride, but he's still fantastic in this.
3. Dave Chappelle as Ahchoo, the foreign exchange student.
5. Roger Rees as the Sheriff of Rottingham.
7. Patrick Stewart as King Richard.
8. Ahchoo's Reebok Pumps. They're so spectacularly 90s.
|Reebok released these this year. WTF. Also, source.|
10. The fight between Robin and Little John on the bridge.
11. Robin knocking over all the knights in armour. Apparently that scene took weeks to set up and get right.
12. Mel Brooks. Both as director and as Rabbi Tuckman.
13. The "Men in Tights" song.
15. Marian's hilariously enormous hair.
16. Megan Cavanagh as Broomhilde. I think she's quite possibly my favourite thing about this movie.
18. Latrine saving Rottingham with a Lifesaver.
19. Robin fighting a guard while drinking a tankard of beer.
22. The guards playing kazoo.
23. Richard Lewis as Prince John. Although every time I watch this movie, I spent at least five minutes thinking it's Christopher Meloni (aka Elliot Stabler from SVU)
24. Cary Elwes' facial expressions. Priceless!
Plus, the following quotes (seriously - I could just list the entire script in here):
- "Hey, Blinkin." "Did you just say 'Abe Lincoln'???" "No, I did not say 'Abe Lincoln', I said HEY BLINKIN. Hold the reigns, man."
- "A chastity belt? That's going to chafe my willy!"
- "Scarlet's my middle name. My full name's Will Scarlet O'Hara. We're from Georgia."
- "And why should the people listen to you?" "Because unlike some OTHER Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent!"
- "A toll is a toll. And a roll is a roll. And if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. I made that up."
- "King illegal forest to pig wild kill in it a is!"
- "Are you with me? Yea or nay?" "Which one means yes?"
- "Man, white men can't jump..."
- "Blinkin, listen to me. They've taken the castle!" "I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive." "He's dead?" "Yes..." "And my mother?" "She died of pneumonia while... [remembers] Oh, you were away!" "My brothers?" "They were all killed by the plague." "My dog, Pongo?" "Run over by a carriage." "My goldfish, Goldie?" "Eaten by the cat." "[on the verge of tears] My cat?" "Choked on the goldfish. [pause] Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it, Master Robin?"
- "Robin of Locksley, where is your king?" "King? King? And which king might that be? King Richard? King Louis? King Kong? LARRY KING?"
- "Oh, if 'twere you, 'twould be...twerrific."
- "On the count of kick!"
- "Ohhh, that happy little bluebird has left a happy little doodoo on your hand."
- "I HAVE A MOLE?????"
- "What are you in for?" "Jaywalking."
- "Pissed off? If I were that close to a horse's weiner, I'd be worried about getting pissed ON."
- "Good people, who have travelled from villages near and far, lend me your ears! [people pull off their ears and throw them at Robin] That's disgusting..."
- "Blinkin, what are you doing up there?" "Guessing. I...guess...no one's coming." "Get down from there! You twit..."
- "Blinkin, fix your boobs! You look like a bleeding Picasso!"
- "Aaaah, toasty varm!"
- "Oh, master Robin! You lost your arms in battle! How terrible... But you grew some NICE boobs."
So, are you with me? Yea or nay?