Tuesday, June 26, 2012

In which people are weird

So I've been wanting to talk about some of the seriously bizarre Google searches that have led to my blog for a while now. But I was slightly concerned that putting them all in a post would lead to a whole stack MORE people finding my blog through seriously bizarre searches. So I figured I'd vlog about it.

So of course, I recorded the vlog one afternoon, and the very next day, the internet went "Oh, hai. You have a vlog to upload? Try this suuuuuuuuuuuuuuper slow dial up speed internet for the next three weeks. Lol, sucks to be you!", and it's been languishing on my hard drive ever since.

But the internet is now back, and I've FINALLY been able to upload it!

So here we have me making a fool of myself on camera once again. And as always, I'd like to thank Youtube for picking the most spectacularly flattering screenshot of EVER to use as the cover for this. I have a major case of duckface going on...


So yes. What's your favourite insane search term that's led people to your little corner of the interwebs???

K xx

32 comments:

  1. The weirdest search that led to my blog was probably "black holes in skin." Um. GROSS.

    Also, please make more vlogs. I'm utterly fascinated by the way you talk. (But that creepy bit comes mostly from being a Theatre major, and therefore having been educated to pay attention to the way people speak.)

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    1. Yeah, that is pretty disgusting.

      And I shall do my best to make more vlogs. But I'm pretty lazy, and vlogs usually require editing, so... Basically, I'm not promising anything! ;)

      Delete
  2. lol. Oh my stars. You certainly have some strange people stumbling across your blog.

    "Hermaphrodite parts" has to be my favorite search term so far.

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    1. Seriously. People are effing weird. That said, "hermaphrodite parts" is a pretty special search term...

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  3. Ha! Yours are awesome.

    I blogged about mine last year.
    http://strugglingsingletwentysomething.blogspot.com/2011/07/um.html

    Incidentally, since I made that post, it started off a whole new wave of people searching "Keith Lockhart's divorce." Keith Lockhart is the conductor of the Boston Pops, and I am amazed that so many people are interested enough in his divorce to Google it.

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    1. Hahaha, I can't imagine ANYONE being interested enough in the divorce of a conductor to Google it. But clearly, people are much more bizarre than either you or I give them credit for!

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    2. Well, he is attractive, and fairly famous around here, but still. The Cinderella search blows my mind, though.

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    3. Understandably!!! That Cinderella search is both horrifying and hilarious all at once.

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  4. HAHA well this tops anything i could think of

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    1. I kind of want to meet some of the people who've Googled this stuff, just so I could ask what they were ACTUALLY looking for. But then again, that could get scary...

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  5. Hehehehehehehehehehe. I'mma say it.

    JEREMY RENNER'S BUTT WATER

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL WHYYYYYYYYYYY

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    1. I've said it before and I'll say it again: THIS. IS. SPECTACULAR.

      Creepy. And weird. But spectacular.

      Delete
  6. You really get a lot of strange searches.

    My fav was 'erection in front of mom' and I'm sure the person who goggled it didn't find my blog helpful at all since it's really not my department :D

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  7. Lol. Gross searches are my stock standard unfortunately. "Louis penis" generates an enormous number of hits for me. As does "scrotal tumor"

    What I've never been able to work out is why they google "henry eigth turkey" - I mean, really? do they mean the country or the bird?

    And my all time favourite was asking whether Henry the eighth's "dick" worked. Not sure how that got to me. But it made me laugh. (The answer was probably no...)

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    1. Oh man, you're so lucky. Who doesn't want searches for scrotal tumours?!?!?!

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  8. As soon as you mentioned the Firefly quote linked with Lion King, I could imagine said quote adoring a picture of Scar, so maybe that's what they were after. Or maybe I'm trying to see intelligence in a place where it doesn't exist.

    I'm too lazy to get google analytics going on my blog again, so I have to be satisfied with odd spam comments instead.

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    1. Yeah, I thought maybe it was something like that. Stupid internet memes, creating completely bonkers search strings...

      Spam comments can be equally entertaining! Or just sad and confusing...

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  9. "Pretzel Thief, was this you?"

    AHAHAHAHAHAH!!

    Hell no! Hahah. Oh man, that quote flashing on the screen made my day and came completely out of left field, hee! You're the best. :-)

    Team Pacey 4eva, wooo! :P

    And you're too cute and lovely in the video, fo' shizzle...!

    I haven't looked at my keyword searches in ages but imma look now...hold on...one sec...

    Okay, here goes:

    - "dancing girls" (...right)
    - "girl flying" ('cause
    - "bouche rouge" (red mouth, eh? Well, I dont' always wear red lippie, but whatev)
    - "16yo" (...ewww!)
    - "adolescent unrequitted love" (hahahah...unrequitted!)
    - "beautiful man eyes" (well, they would've landed on the impossibly beautiful Hrithik!)
    - "dans eden insanlar" (WTF is that?! Smthg about dancing?)
    - "different moves of spongebob solo" (bahahah)
    - "joshua jackson pacey" (good)
    - "my last day with long hair" ("...and then the long hair turned around one last time and we exchanged a meaningful look before the long hair rounded the corner and left my life...FOREVER.")
    - "spongebob heart attack" (HAHAHAHAH)
    - "stunning men wearing wet clothes" (well, why not? :P)
    - "the pretzel theif" (bwah!)

    The lesson here?

    People are creepy and weeeeiiiiiiiird.
    And keyword searches on one's blog stats are unintentionally hilarious.

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Seriously. I saw that search term, and was like "Hmm. I know Pretzel said she found my blog through Deidre's blog. But maybe she just didn't want to admit that it was really because she wanted to make Pacey cupcakes..." ;)

      "Different moves of Spongebob solo" is pretty impressively random. Sometimes, I think people aren't searching for anything at all. They just type random words into Google to see if anything comes up!

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  10. Ok. First of all, I should have known this because you like...live in Australian and all...but I got really excited when you had an Australian accent. >.>

    Now, onto Google searches...well, first of all a good 50% or more of the Google searches that lead to my blog have to do with a) hump day -- ie. Wednesday (usually people looking for an image) b) something about Christian Mingle (which really just makes me laugh a lot) or c) what color shoes you should wear with a wine colored dress (the answer is "it depends," but the ones I wore were gold.

    A few of the more fun ones include...

    - The Vertically Challenged Faith Giant (Just found this one and literally laughed out loud)
    - Make cookie dough out of pancake mix (I laughed at this one...it doesn't end well)
    - Your sister boyfriday 21th bday poem (Umm...what?)
    - Handling awkward office conversations (Any time people find my blog by googling stuff about office conversations/relationships/etc., I just laugh)

    Those are just a few. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Okay, I am officially going to start using The Vertically Challenged Faith Giant in conversation. Because it's fantastically confusing.

      Also, I kind of love it when people forget that being Australian = having an Australian accent. It's kind of like when The Bloggess posts a video, and everyone gets all "WAIT. THAT'S YOUR VOICE????". Except not.

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    2. Yea. I mean...I refer to myself as vertically challenged quite often. And obviously I talk about faith a bunch. But I don't think I've ever mentioned a giant, except maybe using it as an adjective. But either way...I can honestly say I've never used all those terms together. Lol.

      And I know. Maybe it's just I sometimes forget that people have other accents. Or I just block it out of my brain that other people have accents because I want one and I'm jealous. ((sigh))

      Delete
  11. I don't have any fun ones at the moment... right now "Gossip Girl" is popular - I have no idea why since I have NEVER watched that show in my life. Also, someone this week searched for "Doctor Who Disney"

    Um.... no. Doctor Who is not Disney. I love both - but they don't go together.

    Speaking of - Heath Ledger and Gladiator? ::face palm::

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    1. RIGHT????? Heath Ledger was under no circumstances in Gladiator. Heath Ledger didn't even make a movie about gladiators. I don't even think he ever STARRED in a movie with anyone who was in Gladiator. I mean, COME ON, PEOPLE...

      And maybe they're looking for the quote from the first Tennant Christmas special where he quotes the Lion King?? ;)

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  12. I haven't had very interesting searches leading to my blog. but. I like how the internet turns into a LOLcat when it stops working.

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    1. Awwww, sad. And yes, non-working internet is an ass, as are many lolcats. Therefore, non-working internet is actually a lolcat. PERFECT LOGIC.

      Delete
  13. I've just had a look back through search engines through all of my past blogs and it seems everyone who has come across my blog is pretty tame. Although my old blog definitely does seem to draw in a lot of people searching things such as "Tim MInchin wife" "Tim Minchin family photos" "Tim Minchin wife photos" and I feel I disappoint them as my blog offers nothing to satisfy these stalkerish searches.
    My current blog just gets a lot of "Missy Higgins dating" "Missy Higgins girlfriend" and "Are Missy Higgins and Butterfly Boucher together?". Yet again, I never address any of these issues as they strangely don't come up in gig reviews.

    I long for the day when I get searches as obscure as yours!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I actually had one recently that was "Chris Hemsworth wedding photos". Uh, sorry, but you're not going to find those here. Also, quit being a creeper.

      At least your searches make some kind of sense, given your content - mine are just random and weird!!

      Delete
  14. no crazy searches for me, so i'll just enjoy yours for the moment!

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    1. Aww. Sad. I'll cross my fingers that you get some insane searches soon!!!

      Delete

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