Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Reliving my teen years

So if you follow me on Twitter (or, indeed, here), you'll know that for the past few months, I've been rewatching all six seasons of Dawson's Creek. Well, more accurately, I've been rewatching the first FIVE seasons of Dawson's Creek, and watching season 6 for the first time. Because when it aired here, they decided to show season 6 in the middle of the day, and I didn't realise it was on.

ANYWAY. I'm sure you'll all be thrilled that my tweets about it will now stop. And instead, you get this wonderful post, which should really be titled thusly:


Warning: this is going to get incredibly long. But I don't want to split it into two, because...effort. It's also going to get spoilery. But if you haven't seen all of Dawson's Creek by now, I imagine you don't care that much about spoilers!

Season 1
  • Nobody talks like this. NOBODY.
  • What in the hell is Joey wearing??
  • Dawson, WHAT IS YOUR HAIR??
  • The movie that Dawson's making looks effing awful. 
  • Eeeew, Pacey. Why are you boffing your teacher?
  • Okay, Dawson filming Joey's sister giving birth is just nasty.
  • If the phrase "boy on the brink of manhood" is used one more time, I will punch someone.
  • Um. Why is there no winter? It's Massachusetts and no one has worn a coat all season.
  • Hey Gail? Where do you even FIND business skirts that short?
  • Braveheart Pacey is hilarious.
  • Oh, Jen. You look like you're wearing a tweed dress. Honey, no...
  • Dawson, I pretty much hate you.

Season 2
Nice overalls, Andie. Also, source.
  • YAAAAAY, JACK AND ANDIE!! [Does anyone actually understand these two? Are they twins? Did Andie skip a grade? Did Jack get held back? They're in the same year level at school...]
  • Why in the hell would you give up a semester in France for DAWSON?? 
  • Joey and Jack is kind of hilarious when you know what's going to happen.
  • How in the hell did Dawson's terrrrrible movie win ANYTHING? Let alone $2,500!!
  • Gross. Why are Abby and Jen flirting with fishermen in their 30s?
  • Pacey's dad is a total douchecanoe.
  • Um. Why does no one notice 16 year olds ordering rum and Cokes??
  • Awwww, Pacey and Andie... So cute, before she went batshit crazy.
  • Abby, your death was inadvertently hilarious.
  • Really, Joey's dad? You get out of jail and IMMEDIATELY start dealing drugs again?? Moron.

Season 3

  • What the hell was that bizarre Eve subplot that went nowhere?
  • Pacey, you and your boat make an adorable couple.
  • Wait, why is Jen suddenly a cheerleader??
  • Football players wearing make up = one of the few non-Pacey related things that stuck with me from this show.
  • Andie, why the hell would you cheat on the PSATs??
  • This Witch Island episode is really stupid.
  • I kind of adore Dougie.
  • PACEY AND JOEY IS PENDING!!!!! as;dkjals;kdjglkasd <-- excitement.
  • Henry, you're a total doofus.
  • Dawww, Jonathan Lipnicki! 
  • AJ, you're a totally pointless character. Except for the fact that your existence means that Pacey and Joey finally kiss, and my fangirl heart is grateful.
  • Dawson's cry face is the greatest thing this show ever gave to the world.

Season 4
  • How is Mitch suddenly a guidance counsellor?
  • How did Gail not know she was pregnant?
  • Gretchen!!! You're awesome.
  • Uh, Jen? Why are you stalking your therapist??
  • A.I. Brooks is kind of awesome. He's a dick to Dawson, for starters.
  • AHAHAHAHA, a rave in CAPESIDE??? Lol forever.
  • Andie leaving halfway through senior year just confirms for me that I will NEVER understand the American school system.
  • Awww, Jack and Tobey are cute.
  • Drue, your name is stupidly spelled and you're a douche. Shoo...
  • Uh, worst prom EVER.
  • Really, Joey? You're going to let DAWSON pay for you to go to college??
  • How can selling a house in a small town allow you to buy a huge house in inner Boston???

Season 5
  • Joey, what is your mobile phone???? And why are you wearing it clipped to your pants like a pager?
  • Yay, AUDREY. She makes things fun again.
  • Hey Mitch, that was THE WORST DEATH EVER. You made Abby's death in season 2 look sane by comparison.
  • Urgh. Why is Joey sucking face with her lecturer????
  • Really, Jen? After EVERYTHING you've seen in the last four years, you're STILL willing to sleep with Dawson? 
  • Dawson, please put your shirt back on. Because, EW.
  • Jack as a frat boy = NOOOOOOOOOO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING???
  • Oh, Chad Michael Murray. Your character is gross, but you're kind of hilarious.
  • Chef Pacey, I adore you.
  • Okay, I've taken a lot in the way of "Hey, that's X from this other show!", but seeing Abby Sciuto as Dawson's shrink takes the cake. 
  • Does anyone remember Andie? Anyone at all? JACK???
  • What in the hell is this bizarre Joey gets mugged and bonds with her mugger episode? WHERE IS MY PACEY FIX??? 
  • Dawwwww, Grams has a boyfriend!!! 
  • Oh for the love of God, just go to France already!!

Season 6
I tried to find a picture of Pacey in a suit. This was the best I could do. Also, source.
  • JENSEN ACKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Albeit with stupid hair, and basically being the anti-Dean Winchester)
  • Ew, Dawson and Joey are boffing. Oh good. It only lasted half an episode. Thank God for that.
  • Yaaaay, Pacey in a suit!! Boooooo, Pacey with a stupid goatee.
  • Aww, Eddie is nice. Wait, now he's a douche. Wait, now he's nice. Wait, now he's a douche again.
  • Pacey and Jack's roommate is awesome.
  • I kind of love Todd Carr.
  • "Are you on your period right now, Dawson?" Ahahahaha, YES. ALWAYS.
  • "What's with all the underage alcoholics around here??" <-- EXCELLENT question, Pacey.
  • There's a woman in Audrey's rehab centre called Toni Stark. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
  • This Pacey and Joey get trapped in a Kmart episode is my new favourite thing of ever.
  • Um. Why is the newspaper reporter that Pacey's suddenly boffing so very orange? She looks like she escaped from the Jersey Shore, ten years ahead of schedule.
  • Mopey Pacey is lying on the sofa in his underwear with chips stuck to his face. He's still adorable.
  • Does anyone remember Lily??? (Also, Lily Leery is a TERRIBLE name)
  • Um. Why is Joey suddenly in Paris? CONFUSED.
  • Oh for crying out loud. Dawson is a total one trick pony. First he made a movie based on the story of him and Joey in high school. Then he made a movie based on the story of him and Joey after he dropped out of college. And now he's making a TV series ABOUT HIM AND JOEY. No wonder you have no life, Dawson.
  • JACK AND DOUGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • "And the triangle just became a square" "Well put!" <-- SNORT.
  • I struggle to see how killing off Jen seemed like a good way to end the series.
  • Oh hey, they finally remembered Andie. And for the first time in the entire series, she looks the right age.
  • asdkfj;aksldghashdga;hd PACEY AND JOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My fangirl heart just exploded a little.
And so we come to the moral of this (very long winded) story: I still think Dawson's a pain in the arse. I still think this show is both terrible and fabulous at the same time. I still want to know how the screenwriters thought anyone actually talked like that. And I am eternally on Team Pacey.

So. What are your thoughts? Did you love it? Hate it? Are you Team Pacey as well? (Is anyone NOT Team Pacey??? He's 90% of why I started watching Fringe!) And did you want to punch Dawson in the face a lot, or was that just me??
K xx


  1. The last few episodes of Season 3 are the greatest teen TV ever. I still have a printed out transcript of Pacey's "by the side of the road" speech to Joey before he kisses her. I should be embarrased but I just cannot be.

    Oh and I hated Dawson too. He is foul.

    1. YES. OHMIGOD. I'm fairly certain the last few episodes of season 3 ruined me for life. Especially the one where they go to Dawson's aunt's house for spring break. I mean, I love the one with the 'by the side of the road' speech. But the one where Joey REALISES?? *dies*

      Thank you for supporting my Dawson hatred.


    ::gets a hold on self::





    Thank you. THAAANK YOUUU. This made my (boring-ass) Tuesday, dearie!

    But let me get to a-commentin'! (I fear this comment might get out of hand fast, so I shall try to...not let this happen. Eeeek! :D)

    Season 1 Joey (or "Old Joey" as she was affectionately termed by TWoP, i.e. Television Without Pity) used to be awesome. Snarky, abrasive, funny, calling Dawson (read: Fivehead) on his shit...and then they started dating and she lost her backbone...but then Old Joey resurfaced in glimpses in season 3...

    We hardly knew ye, Awesome Joey!

    Re. Jack and Andie, I guess they're...fraternal twins? ::shrug::

    Pacey is TEH BEST. Always and forever times infinity.

    (I mean, he bought Joey a WALL, for chrissakes! And knew about her mum's bracelet at the prom! And kissed her by the side of the road! And...everything!)

    Dawson is a tremendouche.

    That is all.

    (I, too, wanted to punch him almost always -- there was a whooooole contingent! He was such an entitled and obnoxious prick, thought he owned Joey...ACK!)

    Cannot believe Joey passed up a semester in Paris for Fivehead, ZOMG.

    That GIF? Never gets old.

    "Dawson's cry face is the greatest thing this show ever gave to the world."

    ::slow clap::
    Word, Kirsti. WORD.

    Description on TWoP of that particular moment:

    "Joey turns, and as soon as she's looking the other way, Dawson's face crumples into the most hideously misguided man-crying scene since Luke Skywalker learned the truth about his father in The Empire Strikes Back: 'Noooooooo! That's not true! That's impossible!'"



    That singing mugger episode was hands-down one of the worst episodes of television EVER.

    So, Jessica from Go Fug Yourself used to be a writer/recapper for TWoP; specifically, she covered seasons 5 and 6 of Dawson's (and she was as hilarious then as she is now).

    Here's Jessica's blurb for the locked-in-a-Kmart "Castaways" eppie:

    "Joey and Pacey are locked in a K-Mart. No Dawson. No Audrey. No boring tertiary characters yapping about their stupid lives. Katie Holmes and Josh Jackson look alive for the second episode in a row as their characters actually talk about the fact that, you know, they used to go out. Eventually, Pacey admits that he's been having schmoopy feelings for Joey. She kisses him a couple of times, but asks to think about the possibility of them getting back together for a bit before giving him a definitive answer. Bonus: Pacey loses the goatee! Praise the sweet Lord!"


    Ooh, even better, here is Jessica's blurb for the season 6 opener, i.e. when Dawson and Joey sleep together:

    "Dawson and Joey finally have sex. Across North America, hospitals report sharp increases of eye-related injuries, including bleeding from the eyes, bleach thrown into the eyes and eyes being gouged out by the patient. Authorities are mystified."


    Okay, I really, really, REALLY need to end this comment, like, yesterday.


    Thank you again, o great one! ;-)


    1. I'm fairly certain this is the greatest comment I've ever received. TWoP's description of Dawson's cry face is absolutely perfect. I think I might go so far as to the say that the mugger episode is actually the worst television of all time. Not just some of the worst, but actually THE worst.

      I'm fairly certain that Pacey Witter ruined me for life. Not just when it was Pacey and Joey. But when it was Pacey and Andie, and he'd talk her off ledges. Or when it was Pacey and Audrey, and he took on the new bitchy restaurant manager to try and get Audrey her job back. Even when he was douchey stockbroker guy, he was still a life ruiner.

      And that blurb for the start of season 6? Is exactly how I felt. <3

    2. "I'm fairly certain this is the greatest comment I've ever received."

      Hahahah...so I keep outdoing myself, do I? ;-) Tee hee!

      Thank you, thank you! I don't know what it is, the fact that you're "my people" or a bloggy kindred spirit, but whenever I comment on your blog I type and type and type...and type again, some more. 'TIS A MYSTERY!

      And I agree about Pacey...duh. He was so deliciously wonderful with Andie...sniff! He does it all, dammit! Thank you once more for this post (and I just realised I should've said "gets hold of self", d'oh! ❤

    3. You really do keep outdoing yourself. It's spectacular. Team Pacey: bringing people together since 1998!!

    4. Aw, stop that! ;-) Thank you.

      "Team Pacey: bringing people together since 1998!!:


      And I made no sense with my last sentence, bah! Meant to say "[...] should've said 'gets hold of self' at the top of my first comment" -- I'm an idiot. :D


    5. Totally fine, I knew what you meant!!

  3. You perfectly summarised my recollection of Dawson's Creek with this one:

    "Nobody talks like this. NOBODY."

    Agreed. :-)

    1. I literally kept thinking that from the first minute of the first episode right until the closing credits of the last episode. I mean, I watched Gilmore Girls for seven years, and no one talks like THAT either. But this? Was a whole different level of ridiculous in terms of dialogue.

  4. This was completely awesome and hilarious. And it ensures I never actually need to watch the entire series myself!

    1. Awwwww, but...PACEY!!! (Seriously, Pacey was basically what got me through this. Every time I had a "GAAAAAAH!! DAWSON, WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH??" moment, Pacey would come on screen and all would be right with the world again!

      That said, I don't blame you for not watching it. You can get a Pacey fix from watching Fringe, which is a far superior program!

  5. I was always Team Pacey. I kind of wish they had revisited the whole Eve is Jen's sister storyline somewhere along the road. I loved Eddie and thank DC for introducing to the cuteness that was Oliver Hudson.

    1. Yes!! Especially when they brought up Eve in the finale. I was all "Oh, maybe she'll turn up and save Jen's life somehow". Nope...

      I loved Eddie too, until they made him continually leave without saying goodbye. To literally be proposing an overseas holiday together one morning and then leave a note that night saying that you're leaving because it's not working seems a little ridiculous...


  6. I actually didn't watch the show when it was on the air. I started to watch it like one or two years after when TBS played re-runs. My older sister made fun of me a lot.

    Dawson is dumb. Just... UGH. Douche. And yeah, FRANCE ALWAYS TRUMPS DAWSON JOEY COME ON NOW!

    YAY TEAM PACEY!!!!!!!!

    Just all of this - yes yes yes. I love it so much. I'm totally going to re-watch this show now. ... Once I'm done with The Doctor.

    1. YES. REWATCH!!!!! :D And I'm so glad to find that the majority of people hate Dawson. The show really should have been called Pacey's Creek.

  7. I guess I never watched it enough to realize how much of a douche Dawson really was, although I do recall thinking he was an idiot for not realizing how amazing Joey was, and not pursuing her until it was too late. Then again, it's not necessarily a good idea to think long-term with respect to your High Sschool sweetheart, because if one of you goes away to college it's pretty much over. Even attending the same college does not guarantee your relationship will survive.

    Apparently Netflix is now streaming Dawson's Creek, but I'm inclined to look at this the same way I did when I saw The Wonder Years was on there. I loved watching both DC and TWY when they were first on, but knowing they have realistic endings - and not your stereotypical, feel good, made-for-TV ending - I'm not sure I can watch either of them all over again.

    1. I'm just relieved that the producers/script writers for Dawson's Creek didn't go with the "Dawson finally gets the girl" ending that I was dreading. I suspect they probably filmed a bunch of endings, and soon realised that the Joey/Pacey ending was the one the audience actually wanted.

      Dawson really is a douche. It's worth rewatching a couple of episodes of it just to realise that!! ;)

  8. I was only a casual Dawson's Creek fan- watched for awhile, but didn't freak out about missing an episode. I kind of thought all the characters sucked (except Jack, and Grams- they were both awesome), but I hated, hated, HATED Joey. For the life of me I couldn't understand why everyone was always in love with her. I thought she was so annoying- and Katie Holmes is a terrible actress.

    My mom ended up liking this show more than I did. I stopped watching once they went to college (well, except for when Mitch died and for the series finale), but she was still making me tape it for her. As for my dad, he watched it once and his one and only comment was, as you said, "People don't talk like that."

    JANE LYNCH was Pacey's mother?! Whoa! I only remember one episode with Pacey's mother and I definitely don't remember her!

    Oh, yeah- and supposedly it takes place on Cape Cod, but trust me, the Cape looks nothing like North Carolina and NO ONE has Thanksgiving dinner outside in Massachusetts.

    1. Yeah, Pacey's mother is only in one episode - his 18th birthday. But it's Jane Lynch. I nearly fell off my chair. Because she was kind of a Sue Sylvester-y sort of a character, which makes it even more awesome!

      Thank you for clarifying that no one would ever have Thanksgiving outside. That's been causing me "WTF??" moments for months now.

      I hated CERTAIN THINGS about Joey. Like the way she'd always smooth her hair when she was exasperated. And I hated how her decisions always seemed to revolve around Dawson. I'm pretty sure if I'D given up the offer of a semester abroad because of a boy, my mother would have slapped me into next week and told me to pull myself together and stop being ridiculous!!

      Grams was definitely awesome. Jack was awesome for a while. He lost me when he turned into a drunken frat boy in season 5. Pacey, however, has my heart forever.

  9. My dad HATED Dawson's Creek so I only got to watch it if he was out. Yeah, my family had one TV to keep things educational. Entertainmentfail. I just BOUGHT the first two seasons and am starting to watch them. I watched enough for none of this to be spoilers but OMG this show is hilarious/awesome/terrible all at the same time.

    Next on my list? FELICITY!

    1. Right?!?!?! It's like you're sitting there watching it thinking "Good grief, this show is terrible. BUT I CAN'T STOP WATCHING IT!!"

      Part of me is seriously considering buying seasons 3 and 4, solely because of Pacey and Joey.

  10. I can't remember which season(s) it was, but for a little while there Joey wore THE worst jeans on the planet. I will admit to having had impure thoughts about teachers/lecturers, but would never have boffed one a la Pacey. Also? TEAM PACEY!!!

    I'm about half way through The OC at present. Team Seth!

    1. Definitely season 1. She looked like she'd borrowed them from Mitch they were so baggy. Actually, I think that followed through into season 2 as well...

      And clearly, you had much better looking teachers/lecturers than me.

      Never got into the OC. Tried watching it a couple of times, and there wasn't a single character that I liked...

  11. I have the box set, but I remember one of the discs didn't work. I can't remember for the life of me which one...

    I think one of my favourite moments, which seem's so insignificant in the grander scheme of things was when, in the final season, after years of Pacey giving Doug a hard time about being gay (and after years of Doug denying it) he finally hooks up with Jack. I thought it was a great moment and hilarious in its own little way (Pacey was right all along!)

    And I also love Pacey doing the Braveheart thing, that was awesome.

    1. Braveheart Pacey was hands down my favourite thing in season 1. I think that was pretty much the point where Pacey went from being the lame sidekick to being the most fantastically brilliant thing in the whole show.

      And YES. I love that Dougie and Jack get together in the end. Although I kind of wish we could have seen Dougie admitting to Pacey that he'd been right all those years... That would have been awesome.

  12. Just finished watching S03 and Im kinda sad LOL,because I see many people saying how the show loses its spark after SO3.Can someone tell me will there be any memorable Pacey & Joey moments(in S0 4,5,6) that could come close to SO3 epicness?:(

    1. There is a truly spectacular episode in season 6 where Pacey and Joey get locked in a Kmart overnight. The entire episode is JUST THEM. No douchey Dawson, no Jen, no Jack. And it is AMAZING.

      Okay, it's not QUITE as perfect as season 3 and the inevitable squeeing of when they first get together. But it's still amazing. Stick with it. It's worth it for that.

  13. I am pretty sure Jack and Andi are Irish twins.

    1. Thank you for presenting yet another option for my troubled brain to mull over! ;)

      In all seriousness, I'd wondered if that might be the case. Because Andie refers to Jack as her big brother, and they're never flat out referred to as twins. Which you'd think would come up at SOME point, you know?

      Although Wikipedia tells me that they're fraternal twins, given that they're both in the same year level.

      Gah. Now I wish Kevin Williamson would publish a bunch of notes that clear all this stuff up, like JK Rowling did...

  14. I didn't read this whole post cause I don't really care about Dawson's Creek, but did you know Van Der Beek is on TV again? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1819509/

    1. I did indeed!!! Sadly, I don't think it's airing down here yet. But I fully intend to track it down. Because James van der Beek playing an insanely over the top version of himself is something I have to see.

  15. I never watched Dawson's Creek, but I loved this entire post nonetheless. We need more Kirsti-mocks-90s-TV-shows posts.

    1. Oh, believe me. I. HAVE. PLANS. I'm rewatching season one of the X-Files at the moment. ON VHS. You know, for that authentic 90s touch. I'm also thinking I might need to revisit Sliders. And then maybe move on to stuff I never watched in the 90s - Felicity and Roswell and Northern Exposure, things like that.

      Suggestions more than welcome!!

  16. oh wow. I now need to watch the entire series too!!! I loved Dawson's Creek. I now also need to watch party of five. And Gilmore Girls.
    OMG. I'm going to be busy.
    I was totes team Pacey. Dawson was douchey. I know people like him.

    1. It didn't hit its stride until the second season. The whole way through season 1, I was thinking "My God, this show is terrible. Why am I subjecting myself to this???", but after that it got better. Although I'm not sure if it ACTUALLY got better, or if I just brainwashed myself........ ;)


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