ANYWAY. I'm sure you'll all be thrilled that my tweets about it will now stop. And instead, you get this wonderful post, which should really be titled thusly:
THINGS KIRSTI THOUGHT WHILE WATCHING DAWSON'S CREEK
Warning: this is going to get incredibly long. But I don't want to split it into two, because...effort. It's also going to get spoilery. But if you haven't seen all of Dawson's Creek by now, I imagine you don't care that much about spoilers!
- Nobody talks like this. NOBODY.
- What in the hell is Joey wearing??
- Dawson, WHAT IS YOUR HAIR??
- The movie that Dawson's making looks effing awful.
- Eeeew, Pacey. Why are you boffing your teacher?
- Okay, Dawson filming Joey's sister giving birth is just nasty.
- If the phrase "boy on the brink of manhood" is used one more time, I will punch someone.
- Um. Why is there no winter? It's Massachusetts and no one has worn a coat all season.
- Hey Gail? Where do you even FIND business skirts that short?
- OH GOD, JOEY. PLEASE STOP RUINING LES MISERABLES.
- Braveheart Pacey is hilarious.
- Oh, Jen. You look like you're wearing a tweed dress. Honey, no...
- Dawson, I pretty much hate you.
|Nice overalls, Andie. Also, source.|
- YAAAAAY, JACK AND ANDIE!! [Does anyone actually understand these two? Are they twins? Did Andie skip a grade? Did Jack get held back? They're in the same year level at school...]
- Why in the hell would you give up a semester in France for DAWSON??
- Joey and Jack is kind of hilarious when you know what's going to happen.
- How in the hell did Dawson's terrrrrible movie win ANYTHING? Let alone $2,500!!
- Gross. Why are Abby and Jen flirting with fishermen in their 30s?
- Pacey's dad is a total douchecanoe.
- Um. Why does no one notice 16 year olds ordering rum and Cokes??
- ABBY, WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT?
- Awwww, Pacey and Andie... So cute, before she went batshit crazy.
- Abby, your death was inadvertently hilarious.
- Really, Joey's dad? You get out of jail and IMMEDIATELY start dealing drugs again?? Moron.
- What the hell was that bizarre Eve subplot that went nowhere?
- Pacey, you and your boat make an adorable couple.
- Wait, why is Jen suddenly a cheerleader??
- Football players wearing make up = one of the few non-Pacey related things that stuck with me from this show.
- Andie, why the hell would you cheat on the PSATs??
- This Witch Island episode is really stupid.
- I kind of adore Dougie.
- PACEY AND JOEY IS PENDING!!!!! as;dkjals;kdjglkasd <-- excitement.
- Henry, you're a total doofus.
- Dawww, Jonathan Lipnicki!
- AJ, you're a totally pointless character. Except for the fact that your existence means that Pacey and Joey finally kiss, and my fangirl heart is grateful.
- Dawson's cry face is the greatest thing this show ever gave to the world.
- EVERYTHING IS PACEY AND JOEY AND NOTHING HURTS.
- How is Mitch suddenly a guidance counsellor?
- How did Gail not know she was pregnant?
- Gretchen!!! You're awesome.
- Uh, Jen? Why are you stalking your therapist??
- A.I. Brooks is kind of awesome. He's a dick to Dawson, for starters.
- AHAHAHAHA, a rave in CAPESIDE??? Lol forever.
- Andie leaving halfway through senior year just confirms for me that I will NEVER understand the American school system.
- ZOMG SUE SYLVESTER IS PACEY'S MOTHER.
- Awww, Jack and Tobey are cute.
- Drue, your name is stupidly spelled and you're a douche. Shoo...
- Uh, worst prom EVER.
- Really, Joey? You're going to let DAWSON pay for you to go to college??
- How can selling a house in a small town allow you to buy a huge house in inner Boston???
- Joey, what is your mobile phone???? And why are you wearing it clipped to your pants like a pager?
- Yay, AUDREY. She makes things fun again.
- Hey Mitch, that was THE WORST DEATH EVER. You made Abby's death in season 2 look sane by comparison.
- Urgh. Why is Joey sucking face with her lecturer????
- Really, Jen? After EVERYTHING you've seen in the last four years, you're STILL willing to sleep with Dawson?
- Dawson, please put your shirt back on. Because, EW.
- Jack as a frat boy = NOOOOOOOOOO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING???
- Oh, Chad Michael Murray. Your character is gross, but you're kind of hilarious.
- Chef Pacey, I adore you.
- Okay, I've taken a lot in the way of "Hey, that's X from this other show!", but seeing Abby Sciuto as Dawson's shrink takes the cake.
- Does anyone remember Andie? Anyone at all? JACK???
- What in the hell is this bizarre Joey gets mugged and bonds with her mugger episode? WHERE IS MY PACEY FIX???
- Dawwwww, Grams has a boyfriend!!!
- Oh for the love of God, just go to France already!!
|I tried to find a picture of Pacey in a suit. This was the best I could do. Also, source.|
- JENSEN ACKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Albeit with stupid hair, and basically being the anti-Dean Winchester)
- Ew, Dawson and Joey are boffing. Oh good. It only lasted half an episode. Thank God for that.
- Yaaaay, Pacey in a suit!! Boooooo, Pacey with a stupid goatee.
- Aww, Eddie is nice. Wait, now he's a douche. Wait, now he's nice. Wait, now he's a douche again.
- Pacey and Jack's roommate is awesome.
- I kind of love Todd Carr.
- "Are you on your period right now, Dawson?" Ahahahaha, YES. ALWAYS.
- "What's with all the underage alcoholics around here??" <-- EXCELLENT question, Pacey.
- There's a woman in Audrey's rehab centre called Toni Stark. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
- This Pacey and Joey get trapped in a Kmart episode is my new favourite thing of ever.
- Um. Why is the newspaper reporter that Pacey's suddenly boffing so very orange? She looks like she escaped from the Jersey Shore, ten years ahead of schedule.
- OMG WHY IS DAWSON SUCH A COMPLETE DOUCHEBAG???
- Mopey Pacey is lying on the sofa in his underwear with chips stuck to his face. He's still adorable.
- Does anyone remember Lily??? (Also, Lily Leery is a TERRIBLE name)
- Um. Why is Joey suddenly in Paris? CONFUSED.
- Oh for crying out loud. Dawson is a total one trick pony. First he made a movie based on the story of him and Joey in high school. Then he made a movie based on the story of him and Joey after he dropped out of college. And now he's making a TV series ABOUT HIM AND JOEY. No wonder you have no life, Dawson.
- JACK AND DOUGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- "And the triangle just became a square" "Well put!" <-- SNORT.
- I struggle to see how killing off Jen seemed like a good way to end the series.
- Oh hey, they finally remembered Andie. And for the first time in the entire series, she looks the right age.
- asdkfj;aksldghashdga;hd PACEY AND JOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My fangirl heart just exploded a little.
And so we come to the moral of this (very long winded) story: I still think Dawson's a pain in the arse. I still think this show is both terrible and fabulous at the same time. I still want to know how the screenwriters thought anyone actually talked like that. And I am eternally on Team Pacey.
So. What are your thoughts? Did you love it? Hate it? Are you Team Pacey as well? (Is anyone NOT Team Pacey??? He's 90% of why I started watching Fringe!) And did you want to punch Dawson in the face a lot, or was that just me??