Monday, May 28, 2012

Movie Monday: The Fifth Element

Oh, hai. Are y'all relieved that Eurovision is over and that I'll now shut up about it for another 12 months?? (Extra apologies to those of you who follow me on Twitter, and who had to live through the #sbseurovision frenzy that I had going on.)

Anyway, Eurovision (I promise I'll stop talking about it soon!) actually inspired this week's movie choice. The contestant from Albania reminded me quite a lot of the Diva. And once I'd come to that conclusion, this movie was the obvious choice!

The Fifth Element. I'm pretty sure the last time I saw it was on my last night in Lima about four years ago. And I can't remember if it was dubbed into Spanish or if it had subtitles. Either way, it was about midnight, I was still kind of traumatised (HI NESSA!!), and I wasn't really paying attention. So I was well and truly overdue for rewatching this one!

Reasons why The Fifth Element is awesome:
1. Milla Jovovich. She's completely adorable. And a total badass. AND she saves the universe.
2. Rebuilding a whole person from a handful of cells. It's pretty awesome.
3. Leeloo eating entire chickens and absorbing 5,000 years of human history at the same time.
4. Wheeeeeee, giant spaceships and evil talking planets!
5. Gary Oldman. Quite how this man STILL doesn't have an Oscar is completely beyond me. At least he has a nomination?  (Unlike Alan Rickman...)
6. Crazy priests.
7. Spaceships and archaeology in 1914.
8. Bruce Willis, doing what Bruce Willis does best.
9. The cat watching TV.
10. Luke Perry. He's surprisingly hot in his 1914 archaeologist outfit.
11. This entire movie is basically Doctor Who meets Star Trek meets Die Hard meets Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. What more could you want?!
12. Lee Evans! (aka Tucker from There's Something About Mary)
13. The Diva.
14. Korben hiding people all over his apartment.
15. The scene where Gary Oldman chokes on a cherry.
16. I would LOVE a bed that makes itself. And restaurants that come to your house. And make up that does itself. And food that appears magically from some kind of powder. Basically, I'm lazy.
17. Chris Tucker. He is SPECTACULAR in this.
18. Jean-Paul Gaultier did the costumes. Jean-Paul Gaultier!

Plus, the following quotes:
- "What's wrong with you? What you screamin' for? Every five minutes, there's somethin'. A bomb or something'. I'm leaving!! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!"
- "Evil begets evil, Mr. President. Shooting will only make it stronger."
- "Anybody else want to negotiate?"
- Chi-cken. GOOD."
- "Mrs. Dallas, this is the President. On behalf of the federation, I would like to thank you..." "Oh PLEASE. That doesn't even sound like him! The President's an idiot, you don't sound like an idiot. If you don't wanna talk to your mother, just avoid me like usual, huh? I'll just throw myself in traffic! I'll just Saran Wrap myself to the bed and pretend my child is suffocating me..."
- "Leeloo Dal-las Mul-ti-pass!"
- "Sir, are you classified as human?" "Negative. I am a meat popsicle."
- "Wedding?" "[looks at himself and the four bouncers around him] Uh, not really..."
- "Bada boom. BIG bada boom."
- "I'm going to be famous!!"
- "Pla-eez haelp."
- "[to alien] A...a...a...are you German??"
- "Look, lady. I only speak two languages: English. And bad English."
- "Aziz, LIGHT!! [spaceship lights come on] Much better, thank you Aziz."

So, what do you think of The Fifth Element? Love it? Hate it? Never seen it? Let me know!!
K xx


  1. Honestly - every time I use the Oyster card in London I have to stop myself from actually saying 'Multi-pass!' (mool-tea-pass!) out loud...

    1. Hahahaha, I'd probably do exactly the same!! Maybe I should start calling my Myki a mool-tea-pass...

  2. I LOVE THIS MOVIE! I'm such a geek. Basically, again, I agree with everything you said. It appears we have the same taste in movies.

    Also, did you know that the song the Diva sings is actually TWO different ones? And that the first part is a REAL aria from a REAL opera called Lucia di Lammermoor? (Sorry, I couldn't help it-the perils of being a geek AND having studied music in college.)

    1. That is AWESOME!!! I'm going to have to go and find this aria now...

    2. The aria is called "Il dolce suono." Here's the wikipedia page if you're interested.

      It's frequently called "the mad scene" because Lucia has just gone insane and killed her husband Arturo, who her brother forced her to marry, and is currently fantasizing about being married to Edgardo, who is the guy she's in love with.

      Oh, and did I mention this opera is sung in Italian and set in Scotland? I love opera. :)

  3. Random facts about Eileen - I've been wanting the tattoo on her wrist in henna brown since the movie came out. I still haven't done it, but if i ever did get a tattoo, that is the one.

    Love the quirkiness of this movie - Aziz, light! used to be my favorite thing to say when it was too dark to see. Until lumos came along :)

    1. Hahaha, yes! I can remember saying that too. And then lumos took over everything. And it is a pretty great tattoo - it's totally understandable that you want it!

  4. Replies
    1. Seriously??? Although I guess you were still a kid when it came out... You should rectify this immediately! ;)

  5. Whooooaaaa whoa WHOA--

    Luke freakin' PERRY is in the movie?!

    Bahahah. Can't believe Dylan McKay managed to escape typcasting and score a role in one of the hottest sci-fi flicks of the 90s.

    ...which I have yet to see.


    Also, freakin' WORD on Gary Oldman. Love that man. Loved him in The Dark Knight (so, so much); and when that fakeout happens in the movie, you know the one, I was so sad...but then relieved because, YAY, GARY OLDMAN!!

    Btw, Milla Jovovich is half Serbian...HOLLA! Heh heh. (Her dad is Serbian and mum Russian.)


    1. I'm sorry..."typcasting"?! REALLY? Ugh...dratted typos. TypEcasting. Ahh, there, now I feel better. :D

    2. Yes! Luke Perry's in it for about five minutes at the beginning. He was kind of Brendan-Fraser-in-The-Mummy-esque. I tried to find you a picture and failed. So you should definitely track down a copy and see for yourself!

      Gary Oldman and Alan Rickman deserve ALL THE OSCARS. ALL OF THEM.


    1. Perhaps you need to start doing that in day to day life??? ;)

  7. This should come as no surprise: I totally and completely love this movie. More than I should, frankly.

    1. There's no such thing as too much love for this movie, in my opinion!!

  8. I was about to say that I don't think there's a Bruce Willis movie I've seen and not liked, except my OCD compels me to check his IMDB page and verify the truthfulness of that statement.

    Okay, there's "Look who's talking, too", but given Bruce is a voice actor for that one I'm not going to count it as an actual "Bruce Willis movie". I also didn't not like it, I just didn't like it, so I think my statement holds true regardless of whether or not you count "Look who's talking, too" as a Bruce Willis movie.

    1. I would say that voiceover work doesn't count, but considering my favourite Tom Hanks movie is Toy Story, I'd be breaking my own rule...

      I didn't care for The Last Boyscout. Although I liked Hudson Hawk WAY more than I should have. So I guess that makes up for it??


Leave me a comment and I'll love you forever (except for spambots...)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...