And so we finally come to my favourite installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Stuff happens! There's an army of ghosts! And Frodo gets all possessed by the ring and therefore becomes infinitely more interesting! Plus, EAGLES.
Reasons why The Return of the King is awesome:
1. Smeagol's backstory.
2. Sam's shadow scaring off orcs because they think he's a huge warrior dude.
3. Everyone kneeling to the four hobbits at the end. *sob*
6. Minas Tirith. It's a pretty badass city, even if it's run by a total nutcase.
8. Pippin lighting the beacon of Minas Tirith and being all smug before having an "Oh shit, I just set fire to what I'm standing on" moment.
9. That the orc army marching out of the Dead City kind of look like a mob of angry villagers off to storm Dracula's castle. (Or is this one just me?!)
10. Poor Faramir. He's awesome, and his father just basically goes "You know what, you should have died instead of your brother. Could you go fix that now? Kthxbai."
|He looks like a kicked puppy. Also, source|
12. That Sam gets up and keeps going when Frodo leaves with Gollum.
13. Pippin singing to the Steward of Gondor as Faramir and his men are riding into battle. Completely heartbreaking.
14. Aragorn drawing Isildor's repaired sword.
15. The creepy ghost army. They're pretty brilliant.
16. The orc leader side stepping a giant piece of catapulted masonry.
17. Gandalf using his staff to kill orcs.
18. Sam fighting Shelob, the giant creepy spider.
19. The wolf's head battering ram that breathes fire.
21. Eowyn hamstringing oliphaunts. She's much cooler than Arwen who basically lies around on a sofa.
22. Gandalf's expression when Sauron's tower falls.
24. The ridiculous beaked helmet Frodo wears in Mordor.
25. Gollum's gleeful expression when he gets the ring back.
26. The crown of Gondor. Pretty sure all royalty should wear crowns like that rather that stupid heavy jewelled things.
28. Eowyn and Merry killing the Witch King.
30. According to IMDb, it has an on screen body count of 836. That's pretty epic.
Plus, the following quotes:
- "That still only counts as one!"
- "The salted pork is particularly good!"
- "Run, Shadowfax. Show us the meaning of haste."
- "The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacons are lit. Gondor calls for aid!" [massive pause] "And Rohan will answer."
- "The age of men is over. The time of the orc has come."
- "Certainty of death, SMALL chance of success... What are we waiting for??"
- "Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan...my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of friendship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down. But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you - STAND, MEN OF THE WEST!"
- "I do not fear death."
- "You fool. No man can kill me. Die now." "I am no man!"
- "Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an elf." "What about side by side with a friend?" "Aye. I could do that."
- "My friends. You bow to no one."
- "It's so quiet." "It's the deep breath before the plunge." "I don't want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse."
- "Of all the inquisitive hobbits, Peregrin Took, you are the worst."
- "From the ashes, a fire shall be woken. A light from the shadow shall spring. Renewed shall be blade that was broken. The crownless again shall be king."
- "Release us." "Bad idea. Very handy in a tight spot, these lads, despite the fact that they're dead."
- "I can't carry it for you. But I can carry YOU!"
- "For Frodo."
- "Death is just another path. One that we all must take."
- "I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee. Here at the end of all things."
I promise I'll find something less nerdy, less epic and more hilarious for next week!