Monday, February 6, 2012

Movie Monday: The Two Towers

As I said last week, it's getting all LOTR-y up in here for Movie Mondays! As we all know, Fellowship of the Ring isn't really the most exciting movie of all time. I mean, it's basically just introducing you to Middle Earth and all the characters, and then Boromir turns out to be a bit of a knob but a knob who redeems himself in the end. Or something.

ANYWAY. Fellowship was last week. Let's push on to The Two Towers, which is a FAR more exciting film. (Warning: This is going to get long. And nerdy. But mostly long.)

Reasons why The Two Towers is awesome:
1. Andy Serkis. Yes, I know I listed that as a reason why FOTR was awesome. But Gollum is actually in The Two Towers for more than 30 seconds, so I'm including it.
2. The music. Again.
3. The scenery. Again.
4. Legolas staring pointedly into the distance on a regular basis and stating the obvious. Again. It's still inadvertently hilarious.
5. Eowyn. She's seriously awesome.
6. Pippin's face when Treebeard opens his eyes.
7. Frodo's faceplant into the swamp. I can't help but find it enormously amusing.
8. Aragorn kicking the helmet when he thinks Merry and Pippin are dead. Apparently Viggo Mortensen broke a toe doing that.
9. Starting the movie with Gandalf's "YOU. SHALL NOT. PASS!!" line (which was by far the most epic part of FOTR) and the fight with the Balrog.
10. Gandalf's return.
11. Sam falling off the cliff by the Black Gate and Frodo making the two of them look like a rock.
12. Smeagol trying to catch fish.
13. Gandalf forcing Saruman out of Theodin.
14. How the One Ring is basically Slytherin's locket, and Frodo is basically Ron.
15. The scene where Gollum and Smeagol are talking to each other. Creepy, but completely brilliant.
16. Gandalf riding out of the stables at Edoras.
17. Oliphaunts.
18. David Wenham as Faramir. Even though in my head, he's still Diver Dan from Seachange.
19. Legolas shooting warg riders.
20. Wormtongue's face when he sees Saruman's orc army.
21. Aragorn basically getting kissed by a horse.
22. Smeagol singing to himself.
23. The meeting of the Ents.
24. The arming of the boys and old men at Helm's Deep. Heartbreaking.
25. Gandalf's arrival at Helm's Deep with Eomer and his Rohirrim.
26. Gimli's chainmail dress. Snort.
27. Merry's expectant face when Treebeard says the Ents have reached a decision.
28. Legolas sliding down the stairs on a shield. Pretty much my favourite thing in the entire trilogy.
29. Aragorn riding a seige ladder down into the orc army.
30. The Ents killing orcs at Isengard by standing on them. GENIUS!
31. The Nazgul's fellbeasts.

Plus, the following quotes:
- "This is Sting. You've seen it before, haven't you...Gollum."
- "Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall." "They may yet be alive!"
- "I'm wasted on cross country. We dwarves are natural sprinters!"
- "It will Rohan."
- "Keep breathing. That's the key. Just breathe!" (<-- Oh, Gimli. I feel your pain when it comes to running.)
- "A hobbit lay here. And the other!"
- "Tree?! I am no tree. I am an Ent."
- "There are dead things. Dead faces in the water!"
- "I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide."
- "Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear."
- "Dark have been my dreams of late." "Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword."
- "Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east."
- "Sneaky little hobbitses."
- "Master is our friend!" You don't HAVE any friends. Nobody likes YOU."
- "It's true, you don't see many dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance [chuckles] that they are often mistaken for dwarf MEN!" "[whispers] It's the beards!"
- "That one counts as mine!"
- "Stupid, fat hobbit!"
- "You could have picked a better spot!"
- "What's happening out there?" "Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?"
- "Legolas! I'm on two already!" "I'm on seventeen..."
- "Toss me!" "What?" "I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me...Don't tell the elf?" "Not a word."
- "I always like going south. Somehow, it feels like going downhill."
- "What can men do against such reckless hate?"
- "The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle Earth is about to begin."
And quite possibly my all-time favourite LOTR quote:
- "What we need is a few good taters." "What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?" "PO-TAY-TOES! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew... Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish. [Gollum makes a noise of disgust while sticking his tongue outEven you couldn't say no to that." "Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and w-r-r-riggling; you keep nasty chips." "You're hopeless."

Also, Happy Waitangi Day, New Zealand. Thanks for existing so that LOTR could be filmed and I could get my nerd on! <3

K xx


  1. The Gollum-Smeagol conversation is absolutely one of my favorite scenes in ANY movie, ever.

    Plus, the elf-dwarf madness in this one is perfect. I love it :)

    1. I love that they managed to include so much humour in something that is so creepy when you actually think about what was happening.

      And while Merry and Pippin will always be my favourites, I have a lot of love for Legolas and Gimli in Two Towers.

  2. I laughed out loud for several of these. If you want to understand my friendship with my friend Matt, just look at Legolas and Gimili. The way we banter back and forth (especially about my height) is remarkably similar to the conversations those two have. And also, Sam is my favorite character, but the more I re-watch the movies, the hotter Agagorn gets. Holy crap.

    1. Hahaha, that's awesome. Friendships like that are great. I have a confession to make: as much as I like Sam, I can't stand Frodo, which means I'm not a huge fan of their storyline. Scandalous, I know! Pippin is my absolute favourite character. He gets all the brilliant hobbit lines!

  3. I'm glad you enjoy Lord of the Rings. Because I really, really don't. I wish NZ would make some other memorable movies! Maybe now that James Cameron is moving to town, he and Peter Jackson can get together and do something epic...

    1. Yes, but Kat? You're missing the vital ingredient for loving LOTR. You're not a sci-fi/fantasy nerd. ;)

  4. Again, this is awesome! This was my favourite of the trilogy, and the competition between Legolas and Gimli was awesome! Pretty much the entire thing was awesome. The music when the orcs and uruk-hai arrive at Helm's Deep ... that was my fav part. The entire battle. So epic. I was hoping HP7 part 2 was more like that instead of a very fast scene. But aaaanyway ... I just laughed reading all the quotes, picturing the scene in my head.

    1. There are a bunch of quotes from Lord of the Rings that I can only ever hear in the character's voice. And yes, the battle is epic!


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