As I said last week, it's getting all LOTR-y up in here for Movie Mondays! As we all know, Fellowship of the Ring isn't really the most exciting movie of all time. I mean, it's basically just introducing you to Middle Earth and all the characters, and then Boromir turns out to be a bit of a knob but a knob who redeems himself in the end. Or something.
ANYWAY. Fellowship was last week. Let's push on to The Two Towers, which is a FAR more exciting film. (Warning: This is going to get long. And nerdy. But mostly long.)
Reasons why The Two Towers is awesome:
1. Andy Serkis. Yes, I know I listed that as a reason why FOTR was awesome. But Gollum is actually in The Two Towers for more than 30 seconds, so I'm including it.
2. The music. Again.
3. The scenery. Again.
4. Legolas staring pointedly into the distance on a regular basis and stating the obvious. Again. It's still inadvertently hilarious.
5. Eowyn. She's seriously awesome.
6. Pippin's face when Treebeard opens his eyes.
8. Aragorn kicking the helmet when he thinks Merry and Pippin are dead. Apparently Viggo Mortensen broke a toe doing that.
9. Starting the movie with Gandalf's "YOU. SHALL NOT. PASS!!" line (which was by far the most epic part of FOTR) and the fight with the Balrog.
10. Gandalf's return.
12. Smeagol trying to catch fish.
13. Gandalf forcing Saruman out of Theodin.
14. How the One Ring is basically Slytherin's locket, and Frodo is basically Ron.
15. The scene where Gollum and Smeagol are talking to each other. Creepy, but completely brilliant.
16. Gandalf riding out of the stables at Edoras.
19. Legolas shooting warg riders.
20. Wormtongue's face when he sees Saruman's orc army.
22. Smeagol singing to himself.
23. The meeting of the Ents.
24. The arming of the boys and old men at Helm's Deep. Heartbreaking.
25. Gandalf's arrival at Helm's Deep with Eomer and his Rohirrim.
27. Merry's expectant face when Treebeard says the Ents have reached a decision.
28. Legolas sliding down the stairs on a shield. Pretty much my favourite thing in the entire trilogy.
30. The Ents killing orcs at Isengard by standing on them. GENIUS!
31. The Nazgul's fellbeasts.
Plus, the following quotes:
- "This is Sting. You've seen it before, haven't you...Gollum."
- "Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall." "They may yet be alive!"
- "I'm wasted on cross country. We dwarves are natural sprinters!"
- "It will begin...in Rohan."
- "Keep breathing. That's the key. Just breathe!" (<-- Oh, Gimli. I feel your pain when it comes to running.)
- "A hobbit lay here. And the other!"
- "Tree?! I am no tree. I am an Ent."
- "There are dead things. Dead faces in the water!"
- "I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide."
- "Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear."
- "Dark have been my dreams of late." "Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword."
- "Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east."
- "Sneaky little hobbitses."
- "Master is our friend!" You don't HAVE any friends. Nobody likes YOU."
- "It's true, you don't see many dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance [chuckles] that they are often mistaken for dwarf MEN!" "[whispers] It's the beards!"
- "That one counts as mine!"
- "Stupid, fat hobbit!"
- "You could have picked a better spot!"
- "What's happening out there?" "Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?"
- "Legolas! I'm on two already!" "I'm on seventeen..."
- "Toss me!" "What?" "I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me...Don't tell the elf?" "Not a word."
- "I always like going south. Somehow, it feels like going downhill."
- "What can men do against such reckless hate?"
- "The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle Earth is about to begin."
And quite possibly my all-time favourite LOTR quote:
- "What we need is a few good taters." "What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?" "PO-TAY-TOES! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew... Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish. [Gollum makes a noise of disgust while sticking his tongue out] Even you couldn't say no to that." "Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and w-r-r-riggling; you keep nasty chips." "You're hopeless."
Also, Happy Waitangi Day, New Zealand. Thanks for existing so that LOTR could be filmed and I could get my nerd on! <3