I picked it up at the library recently. The cover was fun, the blurb sounded intriguing. I mean, you'd think with hidden treasure and ancient mysteries and evil dudes, you couldn't go wrong, right? Yeah, not so much.
- "It took six hours longer then if they had flown." Then. THEN.
- Missing full stops on numerous pages.
- "There's no time like the current."
- An American character refers to someone as "a good bloke".
- "The house was deathly quiet with the only sound being the regular ding of the grandfather clock in the hall." So...it WASN'T deathly quiet then?
- The characters type "ancient jade disk" into Google, and the exact thing they're looking for pops up on eBay? Uh, sure...
- There are FIVE adults trapped in a room that's "less than ten feet square". Um. NO. That's a physical impossibility. (10 feet square is less than 1 metre square for those who aren't so great at Imperial...)
- One character inherited three paintings of Mesoamerican pyramids from his grandmother. Apparently it took him "months of determined research" to work out that two of them were Teotihuacan and Palenque. Flip through ANY book on Mesoamerican civilisations, and pictures of those two, plus the pyramids at Tikal (which I'm guessing was the third one, seeing as the tiny room with the five people apparently trapped in it is at Tikal), will appear. Also, I found pictures of all three of them in five minutes on Google Images.
- "...speeding off in excess of 94 miles per hour." Is it just me or is that strangely specific?
- An eight year old becomes a Mayan king's trusted physician, even giving advice on INFERTILITY PROBLEMS. I thought perhaps I'd missed something and there was a "several years later" element to it. But no. A child. As a physician. Giving advice on infertility... *head explodes*
- Repeated examples of American characters using British and Australian words. One takes "paracetamol tablets". Another uses the word "lift" instead of "elevator" numerous times.
- All the characters talk like robots. Example: "There is no possible way they could know about the obsidian. Even if they did, what is the chance that they are aware of the condition of the rope? We will die in this hellish place." (How I would write that: "There's no way they could know about the obsidian, and even if they did, they couldn't know about the rope's condition! We're going to die down here.")
- One character knows that another is carrying the ancient disc because he needs to stop frequently to catch his breath walking from a plane to the terminal building. Later, the disc is referred to as the size of a small dinner plate, and "quite light in weight". #CONFUSED
- "For shit sake." <-- I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.
And finally, we have my two favourites, which is what really tipped me over the edge into not reading any further:
- "She wriggled her hips, juggled her breasts and waltzed back into the mess hall..." Wait. She JUGGLED her breasts? JUGGLED????????? Now THAT is an impressive life skill, kids.
- "It's true, then. I am [Mayan priest from 300AD]'s ancestor." ANCESTOR. Unless there's a TARDIS involved, that's - as Ralph Wiggum would say - unpossible.
The worst part? It was produced by a PUBLISHING HOUSE. With the apparent lack of editing and proof reading, I was sure it would be the most awful kind of self-publishing. But no. It makes me sad that there are so many awesome authors out there (like Lissa!) trying their hardest to get publishers interested in their work when there are books like this available on the market.
What books have you guys given up on? Also, has anyone else read this piece of tripe?