Monday, January 16, 2012

Movie Mondays: The Mummy



I first saw this week's movie in late November 2000. I was at the beach on Schoolies Week with a bunch of my best friends, celebrating the end of high school. Because most of us weren't eighteen yet and had basically no money, we didn't do the stereotypical go-to-Noosa/Byron Bay thing. No, we went to my grandparents' beach house, an hour from Melbourne. 

And because there was very little to do other than go to the beach and play cards, we watched a SHIT TON of movies, including The Mummy. On video, obviously, because it was 2000 and NO ONE had DVDs yet. They were like $50 per disc. (Seriously)
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Anyway, that's a really long winded way of saying I have adored this movie and all its ridiculousness for over eleven years now. [Disclaimer: the second film was pretty bonkers, but did have some awesome quotes. The third one was terrrrrrrrrrible. And The Scorpion King should never have been made. Same goes for its SEQUELS, OH MY GOD WHY DID THEY MAKE TWO SEQUELS TO THAT CRAP?!?!]

Reasons why The Mummy is awesome:
1. This scene: 
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2. The casting. It's pretty much perfect as far as I'm concerned.
3. There's a book made out of solid gold.
4. The cat: 
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5. Rachel Weisz. I want to be her when I grow up.
6. The timelapse of the Anubis statue at the start.
7. Brendan Fraser. You know, before he got old and kind of chubby...
8. The library at the museum. Before Rachel Weisz accidentally destroys it, it's totally awesome and I WANT ONE. Only with slidey ladders. And more stable bookshelves........
9. John Hannah. GENIUS.
10. There are pith helmets. 
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11. Oded Fehr. 
12. There are mummies. They're like zombies, but without all the messy brains eating nonsense.
13. There are fezes. Fezes are cool. (The Doctor said so!)
14. That Arnold Vosloo manages to be seriously evil while basically making Jenna Marbles' how-to-get-people-to-leave-you-alone face over and over again. 
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15. There's a guy with a serrated knife for a hand.
16. There's a guy who wears a fez AND a monacle. #awesome
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17. That the mummy closes the windows and shutters behind him when he sandstorms out of places. It's very considerate of him, given that he's evil and undead and all.
18. Brendan Fraser fighting mummies with a sword.
19. The whole sinking city thing. It's a pretty awesome booby trap.
20. John Hannah hiding in the sarcophagus.

Plus, a seemingly never ending stream of awesome quotes:
- "You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself ALWAYS get their come-uppances."
- "If he turns me into a mummy, you're the first one I'm coming after."
- "That's calling stealing, ya know." "According to you and my brother, it's called borrowing."
- "Two questions: who the hell was Seti the First? AND was he rich?"
- "My darling girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, THAT was an accident. You? Are a CATASTROPHE!!"
- "Haha! His neck did not break! I'm so sorry. Now we must watch him strangle to death."
- "Did I miss something? Are we...going into battle??"
- "Aaaaand the fact that they say it's made out of pure gold makes no never mind to you?"
- "Well if it ain't my little buddy, Beni."
- "You always did have more balls than brains."
- "Hey! O'Connell! Looks to me like I've got all the horses!" "Hey Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!"
- "I say, jolly good show, chaps! And did I panic? I think not!"
- "For the record, if I don't make it out of here? Don't put me down for mummification."
- "I know, you're wondering what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?"
- "Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell. But I am proud of what I am." "And what is that?" "I...am a librarian!"
- "Is he supposed to look like that? "No. I've never seen a mummy look like this before. He's still... Still..." "JUICY."
- "I believe you need a key to open that book."
- "We are in serious trouble."
- "It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book."
- "I loved the whole sand wall trick. It was beautiful. Bastard..."
- "Oh yeah. This just keeps gettin' better and better..."
- "Who the hell are these guys?" "Priests. Imhotep's priests." "Alright then. [opens fire]"
- "[to a camel] How about you, darling? Would you like a little kissy-wissy?"
- "Death is only the beginning."

(You'd never know that I restrained myself on the quotes front, would you?!) 

Does anyone else drive everyone they know insane by watching this movie at least four times a year and quoting the entire script when they do so?? Or is that just me?

K xx 

14 comments:

  1. Oh thank goodness I'm not the only person who thought that The Mummy was awkwardly considerate for an evil man. "I'm leaving now, but I will close your shutter/door/window/whatever!" WHAT?

    PS: Rachel Weisz is 90% of why I still haven't watched The Mummy 3. I cannot believe they replaced her; I would've just not made the movie.

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    1. I too am glad that it wasn't just me who thought that. I can't believe they replaced her either. If the movie had been even half way reasonable, I might have CONSIDERED being okay with them replacing her. As it was total and utter garbage, there's no forgiving them.

      You know, they could have just made it about Alex and not included Rick and Evie. They still could have included Jonathan. But noooooooooooo... *shakes fist*

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  2. I LOVE THIS MOVIE! When I was younger this was my older sister's favorite movie and she would have me watch it all the time. There were times I complained but... I loved it. So awesome and I totally believe that you had to restrain yourself on quotes. They are pretty awesome. I want to go watch this now!

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    1. YAY!! And you should definitely go and watch it now :)

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  3. I totally watch the same movie at least four times a year and quote the whole damn thing as it goes along. It's a very valuable skill... right?

    And I agree. I want to be Rachel Weisz when I grow up.

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    1. Clearly, we should start a club for people who want to be Rachel Weisz when they grow up. It would be the most awesome club ever!

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  4. I loved this, and I loved 2, and I could even deal with 3... I also have to mention Oded Fehr who is pretty awesome.

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    1. Despite it being not as good as the first one, I do love The Mummy Returns. I've only seen Tomb of the Dragon Emperor once, but I remember it being really awful. Although that might just be because I was angry that they replaced Rachel Weisz...

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  5. I'm definitely a repeat movie watching offender.

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    1. Right? My brain says something like "Watch a new movie? But what if it's crap? I KNOW this one is good, so I'll just watch it on a loop!"

      Oooh. Perhaps we should watch While You Were Sleeping at Dessert Day...

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  6. I. Love. This. Movie. And I may have to spend some of today watching it as a result of reading this post. So awesome. And yes, I drive people crazy by quoting half of it as we watch, but I can't help it! There's so much to love.

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    1. EXCELLENT. I kind of want to watch it again myself even though I only watched it on Saturday!

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  7. I can't remember whether it was this movie or Mrs Winterbourne that made me fall in love with Brendan Fraser. I think he was appealing because he appeared to be the perfect blend of bad boy, rugged and gentleman (in his own, obscure way).

    My favourite line from the movie is where they're sitting around a fire and Evie drunkenly declares: "Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am."

    Rick: "And what is that?"

    Evelyn: "I... am a librarian."

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    Replies
    1. That's definitely one of my favourite lines.

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