Thursday, October 20, 2011

New York - the "Ooooh, random parade!" edition

Bright and early(ish) the next morning, I set off for the subway to meet Sara at the American Museum of Natural History. Kat had decided that she was museumed out after Washington (and fair enough too. If I didn't love the Met so much, I probably would have gone shopping as well!!), so I had to navigate on my own. Given my unfailing ability to always go one block in the wrong direction despite having a map in my hands, I was somewhat concerned that I'd end up in Queens with no idea how I'd gotten there or how to get back. This was a particular concern when I got to 42nd Street and the signs for the A line trains just said "Uptown" and "Downtown". Thankfully, I saw a billboard for The Simpsons, which reminded me of "The school yard's up and the shopping mall's down", which led me to remember the ACTUAL song from On the Town - "The Bronx is up and the Battery's down". Hurrah - navigation courtesy of Broadway songs! #officiallyagenius (Also? Uptown Girl is of NO use in this situation...)
Thanks, Gene, Frank and Jules. Also, source.


Anyway. I made it to the museum and found Sara without any problems. It was sliiiiiiightly before opening, and there was a crowd of people waiting. Sara was completely horrified that I made her queue for a museum. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Ahem. The museum was fun - I got to be all "Ooooooh, Jake Gyllenhaal was here in The Day After Tomorrow!!" (except apparently not because I just looked up the filming locations on IMDb and this wasn't one of them. SAD FACE) and "Wow, that dead thing is really REALLY happy about being dead!" 
"Being dead is AWESOME!!"
See?

After we finished at the Natural History Museum, we decided to walk across Central Park. This led my brain to go "OH GOD, THERE'S GOING TO BE A MANGLED DEAD BODY IN HERE SOMEWHERE AND IT'LL BE GROSS AND I'LL BE TRAUMATISED. OR THERE'LL BE A CRAZY RAPIST. ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH. I WONDER IF MY TRAVEL INSURANCE COVERS TRAUMA COUNSELLING..." What? No, I'm sure it has nothing whatsoever to do with my television watching in Chicago. Why do you ask?
"In New York City, sexually based offences are considered especially heinous." Also, source

Ahem. Needless to say, we made it through Central Park without even the slightest incident, although Sara found the Diana Ross Playground highly entertaining (Yes, THAT Diana Ross. I checked). When we got to the other side of the park, we intended to go straight to the Met for more museuming. But when we reached 5th Avenue, we stumbled across this:
WHAT

THE

FUCK
The annual German-American Steuben Parade. From my very half hearted detailed research on Wikipedia, it's pretty much just a parade of "Yay, we have German ancestry!" I have no idea where John Denver comes into it:
SERIOUSLY...

Despite being in completely the wrong city, I was fully expecting Ferris Bueller to turn up on a parade float singing Danke Schoen... 

After marvelling at the craziness for a while, we headed up to the Met, where we got horribly distracted by a cupcake truck

NOM.

Mmmm, cupcakes. Mine was the Cup o' Joe, and it was pretty damned good. (Also, has anyone been to New York and had one of their savoury cupcakes? Because I was too chicken to try one. Plus, chocolate always wins.) We watched the parade for a while longer before heading into the Met. Shortly thereafter, we both hit a dose of museum fatigue and so basically spent our time playing my "What would I take home?" game, only adapted to focus on the weirdest or dumbest or ugliest things in each room. 
The Nile, personified. Um, sure?

Pretty sure this belongs in a Hogwarts bathroom

Awesome hair and a case of crazy eyes. What's not to love?

This is a NOSE RING.

Hee hee, tiny crazy kitty!

Ridonkulous turban

Does this ruff make my head look small?

Yet another male baby wearing a weird hat. And playing with a lamb. As you do...

This dude has a seriously gross hairy mole on his left cheek.

As per usual, my favourite thing at the Met was the Temple of Dendur, due almost entirely to a dim dark memory of a "Sesame Street Goes to the Met" special that I saw a millionty years ago that no one else has ever heard of and that I kind of think I made up. (HOLY CRAP - Youtube tells me I didn't!! It was called "Don't Eat the Pictures", except that I remember them actually getting sucked back into Ancient Egypt when they went to the Temple of Dendur... Apparently they just met a kid from Ancient Egypt instead. Boooooooooo...)


AnyrandomsegueaboutSesameStreet, we finished up at the Met and headed to the nearest subway station. Which was basically opposite a Williams Sonoma. Sara practically had to drag me down to the subway station kicking and screaming. Which was probably for the best, because not only can I not afford anything in there, but it wouldn't have fitted in my suitcase! The subway ride back to the hotel was extra squishy and not particularly enjoyable. I'd told Paulie to swing by our hotel room at 5.30, so of course we were late getting back and Kat got to spend 15 minutes hanging out with some guy she'd spent 5 minutes talking to the night before. (Sorry Kat!!)

After watching several episodes of Beyond Scared Straight with horrified expressions on our faces, we headed downstairs to ask if there was a good Mexican restaurant nearby. And being New York, home to anything you could pretty much ever want (seriously, there's an Australian bar there. That sells actual Australian beer, and not Foster's!), there was one a couple of blocks away. First thing on the agenda? Cocktails. And being America, they were ridiculously sized. 
Photo courtesy of Paulie, who had a camera that could fit in his pocket...
MMMMMM, DAIQUIRI. 

Kat then had some kind of salad that arrived in a bowl made of a giant fried tortilla. It was pretty awesome. Like an enormous nacho. My chimichanga, while delicious, wasn't nearly as exciting... SAD FACE.

Next up: 30 Rock, I brave Central Park again, and a busboy who I'm convinced was a robot...

K xx

8 comments:

  1. So funny. I LOLed. Twice.

    Also, I want that cupcake. NOM!

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  2. Okay the happy dead thing is making me laugh far more than I probably should.

    And I totally need a cupcake truck in my life :)

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  3. And the camera could fit in Paulie's pocket because...it's...pocket-sized. It's a pocket-sized camera, see? So it fits...in...my...pocket.

    Ahh, good old Lano & Woodley. The country has not been the same since their "divorce".

    Re: Movie Magic & Filming locations, it's rarely where you think. A lot of scenes from the Spiderman movies were filmed around downtown Los Angeles, as were the X-Files, NYPD Blue, and NCIS. I was actually lucky enough to meet Michael Weatherly & Cote de Pablo a few years ago when they were shooting "Dead Reckoning" near my office.

    It looks like you're having a fantastic time over here and are getting to see soooooo much. Very jealous. I've lived here for 13 years and have not made it to New York, and I sooooo want to go.

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  4. That is such a lovely picture of you. :)

    Also, the SVU thing made me LOL. I loved this post.

    Lor

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  5. @Lissa - it was delicious.
    @Marita - right? I have no idea why it was so happy about being dead. But it was!
    @Cap'n John - Confession: I've been home for about three weeks and am just an epic slacker when it comes to writing up the trip! Also, I'm insanely jealous that you met Michael Weatherley and Cote de Pablo... Also also, you NEED to go to New York.
    @Lor - I miss your face <3

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  6. Now I miss New York! I also wasn't game enough to try the savory cupcakes in NY but I sure had my fair share of the other ones!

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  7. You HAD to post a picture of the most amazing looking cupcake for me to see when I'm stuck at work with no food, didn't you?

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  8. That turtle does look very happy. Who knew skeletons of giant turtles could smile?

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