Thursday, September 29, 2011

Los Angeles - the "I'm not supposed to be here" edition

So I'm currently sitting in a hotel in Culver City, California. According to my itinerary, I should be almost to Auckland by now. Unfortunately, that's not quite how things worked out... 

Yesterday, Lyndsy drove me to the airport at about 4pm. The traffic was completely terrible, courtesy of President Obama arriving in Denver about an hour earlier, which forced the closure of all the highways in the city. Anyway, despite the terrible traffic, I made my flight with time to spare. The flight to LA was pretty unexciting. I'd had high hopes for taking photos while flying over the mountains, but it was hazy. Boo...

I arrived at Terminal 7 of LAX about 20 minutes early. My booking confirmation thingy said my flight would be leaving from the International Terminal, so I hiked walked up there through the delightful carbon monoxide. (Speaking of which, can someone explain to me how LAX still doesn't have a monorail or whatever between the terminals, like a normal airport?!?!?!) Upon arriving at the International Terminal, I discovered that Air New Zealand doesn't fly out of the International Terminal. They fly out of Terminal 2. 

OF COURSE. The terminal that was basically directly opposite where I started. Awesome. Thank you so much, LAX... So I started walking to Terminal 2. And of course, Air New Zealand is located at the far end of Terminal 2. Dear LAX: I despise you with every fibre of my being. That is all. I eventually made it to the check in counter, did all of that nonsense, and headed up to security, which was loosely organised chaos. #funtimes While standing there for a millionty years, I noticed a tall guy in the next queue over. 
Me: Huh. That tall guy kind of looks like Jason Segel.
[Tall guy turns around]

SO much more exciting than the time I saw Michael Richards in the immigration queue in Mexico City. I kind of wanted to point him out to the whiny Londoners behind me who kept going on and on about how "Victoria [Beckham] wouldn't be subjected to this treatment. There MUST be a line for upper class!". Um, I'm pretty sure Jason Segel wouldn't be standing in the line of loosely organised chaos if he didn't have to...

After several hours of sitting around the airport, I noticed that my flight status had been updated to 'Delayed'. Shortly thereafter, an announcement was made saying that the wing of our plane had been damaged leaving the hangar. And that they needed to fly a part down from Boeing in Seattle before they could fix it. And that therefore our flight was delayed at least overnight. 

Thankfully, Air New Zealand put us all up in hotels. By the time we were transferred from the airport to hotels and had checked in, it was nearly midnight LA time and I was completely exhausted. For some reason I will never understand, American hotels have something against overhead lighting. So I was fumbling with the bedside lamps in the dark. And of course they put the switches somewhere completely bizarre, meaning that I spent a good ten minutes trying to turn the fucking things on. The exhaustion combined with the frustration led to me bursting into tears and sobbing "WHY CAN'T THEY HAVE OVERHEAD LIGHTS?????" over and over again. #socoolunderpressure

Thankfully, the hotel provided me with a delicious warm chocolate chip cookie when I checked in. #chocolatemakeseverythingbetter #nom

While waiting to check in, the old woman in front of me was hoping that they would at least provide toothbrushes and pondering how bad the plane would smell when we do eventually take off. (I just saw her in the lobby. She's now wearing her dress inside out...) Which brings me to a list.

Things you should always have with you when flying internationally:
1. Toothbrush and toothpaste
2. Deodorant
3. Concealer
4. Phone chargers
5. Spare undies
6. Hair brush
7. A singlet top (as well as a t-shirt)

Anyway, it looks like we're going to be delayed by a full 24 hours. God knows what time I'll finally make it to Melbourne. Which reminds me - 
New Zealand passengers in queue for hotel transfer: Crap, I hope we get home by [insert day here]. I have tickets to the Rugby World Cup...
Australian passengers in queue for hotel transfer: We'd better be home in time for the Grand Final on Saturday...
Everyone else in queue for hotel transfer: I just want to get there soon...


K xx

UPDATE: I forgot to mention that our suitcases spent the night at the airport, so all we had was hand luggage. Hence the essential things to carry and the old lady's inside out dress. #forgetfulmoron


  1. Inside-out dress. Super classy.

  2. Right?! It was a hideous dress the right way around. It's worse inside out. The seams and labels really make it special!

  3. I am SO glad I have never had an international incident with all the flying I've done in recent years. but now knowing my luck, something's going to happen on the horrendous flight back to Australia. Oh god. I better make sure I pack the essentials. That includes chocolate. Lots of lots of chocolate.

  4. Aw, I am so sorry about the flight what a disaster!


  6. @Lissa - I stupidly forgot to pack chocolate and now have no US currency left. #fail
    @Deidre - thanks love! At least they put us up in a hotel and didn't leave us stranded at LAX for 24 hours...
    @Lauren - EXACTLY. I feel very much like Dante at the moment...

  7. Bad news, it's not just hotels that don't have overhead lights. Very few modern houses and apartments will have overhead lights in the bedrooms and living rooms. I can understand it with houses and apartments because it's obviously a case of the builders & designers shaving costs by cutting out the wiring and light fixtures in those rooms.

    But when it comes to hotels most of them will have a light in the entry way (assuming you have an entryway in your hotel room) and/or bedside lamps and a floor lamp to light the main living space. I don't get why they can't have a light installed in the ceiling instead of the floor lamp. Cost cutting again, I suppose.

  8. Haha inside out dress,that is why I always try to carry backup everything in my handbag when I travel because I'm paranoid about things like that. Was good that you had a cookie to hold on to :)

  9. 1. You saw Jason Segel? SO JEALOUS. I'd have been so uncool and trying to take photos super subtly.
    2. Totally with you on the overhead lights thing. I have never stayed in an American hotel with overheard lights and DO NOT UNDERSTAND this strange phenomenon.
    3. Flight delays suck. Thankfully the only time it's happened to me, we were told before we checked our cases in!

  10. But you saw Jason Segal! Not enough to make it alright? No? No?

  11. @Cap'n John - Americans need to embrace the overhead light. Also, showers that just have taps and don't require a degree to turn on...
    @emmabovary - I know, right? I have no idea why she wouldn't have at least had a toothbrush with her!
    @Emma - If it hadn't been in the security bit where taking pictures could have gotten me arrested, I totally would have been taking uncool stealthy pictures. Stupid security...
    @Lor - it made things better momentarily. Then my flight got cancelled. Now I'm back in Melbs, but my bags are still on the other side of the world, and the airline doesn't know where. Maybe if Jason Segel had bought me a drink and made out with me, these things would seem inconsequential. How dare he not do these things?! *sulks* PS. I miss your face <3


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