The most wonderful time of the year, part 2

If you missed last night's post covering semi-final 1, go and check it out before you read this.

For those who've read it, let's get going on semi-final 2!! Once again, you can see all the acts here (The former is mostly preview videos, and the latter may only work in Australia). And once again, all images were sourced from the individual country profiles here.

Here's hoping Malmo delivers us less ballads than last night, or I may just cry... 

Latvia - PeR

OH MY GOD. The Latvian version of Jedward. They're wearing the sparkliest suits ever. And are alternating between singing, rapping, and bouncing around like idiots. Also, they have a keytar player. And a guy whose guitar has an iPad in it?? Awesome. We're already off to a better start than last night!! The song's incredibly repetitive but pretty catchy. WHEEE, STAGE DIVING!! That was kind of great, in a trashy Europop way. 

San Marino - Valentina Monetta

It's the girl who sang the Social Network song!! Only she's ginger this year. One wonders if her song any better than last year's trainwreck... Um. She's waving a giant glowing ball around the stage. So while the song is less awful, I'm still pretty confused. She appears to be wearing a nightie borrowed from Morticia Addams, with a nice ON STAGE COSTUME CHANGE!!!! billowy cloak of doom effect. Pretty great compared to last year.

FYR Macedonia - Esma & Lozano

A t-shirt with a tuxedo? Uh. Sure? And OH MY GOD you have to watch the video for this because her dress is freaking insane. It's like the crazy baby of a sari and a flamenco dress. Awesome. The song is...I honestly have no idea. It's like a combination of 12 different factors and I can't work out what they add up to. I think I like it though. 

Azerbaijan - Farid Mammadov

You'll be thrilled to know that his eyebrows are less terrifying than in that picture. Which is a relief. For some reason, he's on top of a perspex box with a person in it. And said person is doing acrobatic stuff in the box. Ohhh. I think the person is meant to be his shadow. That's pretty cool!! And he's kind of adorable. And now there's a girl in a billowy dress with an insane train. And the box is getting filled with rose petals or confetti or something. I'm kind of loving this. Way to bring it, Azerbaijan. 

Finland - Krista Siegfrids

Apparently her back up dancers are known as "Team Ding Dong". LOL WHUT. Oh dear God. She's in a wedding dress and pink booties. And one pink glove. This is........awful. Even by Eurovision standards. It sounds like it was written by Anastasia Steele... They just pinned a giant sheet on her head. FIREWORKS!!! And ON STAGE COSTUME CHANGES!!! Her back up dancers just went from purple crushed velvet tuxes to pink bridesmaid's dresses. And a girl-on-girl kiss at the end. Because...of reasons?? IDK. 

Malta - Gianluca

SBS didn't have a picture. Thank God for the Beeb.

Apparently this dude's a medical doctor as well as a singer. Who's not?! Awwww, he has a ukelele player. It's kind of John Mayer-esque... He's very squinty, but he looks like he's having a good time, so I guess that's what matters? Another song where we have the lyrics on the screen. How thoughtful. Apparently the song is about not procrastinating. Whut. It was kind of catchy, but lacking in ridiculous theatricality. 

Bulgaria - Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankulov

There are a shit ton of drums on stage right now. Along with Bulgarian bagpipes. One of the drummers has an EPIC mullet. Awesome. She seems a little out of tune. The backing singers look INSANELY bored and kind of awkward. Okay, now it sounds like the introductory music to Compass... Are they drumming with glow sticks???? ...There is now a guy carrying a giant face mask. Like, GIANT. I have no idea what to make of it. 

Iceland - Eythor Ingi

Bonus points for having "Thor" in his name. It's clearly hard to sound plaintive while singing a ballad in a language full of choking sounds... It's all very minimalist, but I kind of like it. He seems to be fighting the urge to rock out, which would be kind of great. He's got back up singers now, and is rocking out a little. You know, as much as you can while singing a ballad. Again with the weird hand close up at the end. I think the cameraman has a fetish... 

Greece - Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis

Apparently we're about to get Greek music in a ska style. Uh, okay... The song is called "Alcohol is Free", which LOL. All of them except the old dude are wearing...Greek kilts?? IDK. And they just dropped the bass and now everyone's rocking out. Kind of like their song is the Greek version of the Harlem Shake. I think I like it. I'm particularly impressed by the guy who can RUN around the stage while playing the accordion. Because those things aren't light! Speaking of lights, all their instruments have LEDs around the edges. Awesome. 

Israel - Moran Mazor

Oh my God, Israel is doing a ballad about love rather than something about peace?? I can't even begin to process this. Or the fact that her dress is split to the naval and is like 50% cleavage... Seriously, I can't even focus on her song (which is in Hebrew, and therefore features lots of spitty noises) because I'm scared she's going to have a costume malfunction. MASSIVE KEYCHANGE. And her female back up singer has hilarious hair. And AGAIN with the hand close up. Someone needs to have words with this cameraman. 

Armenia - Dorians

Apparently this song is written by the guitarist of Black Sabbath. AWESOME. The smoke machine is working overtime, and the lead singer is wearing one hell of a hipster man scarf. He also appears to have a tea towel hanging off the back of his jeans, and a scary pair of eyebrows. Another hand shot. And another ballad with a slightly more rock beat. FLAMES ON STAGE. And a guitar solo! I'm not loving the song - it's kind of like the winner's single from [insert country here] Idol. 

Hungary - ByeAlex

Ohhhh honey. Could you be more of a hipster??? Good grief. And his guitarist has Jedward hair. Ten seconds in, and I kind of hate this song. It seems a little like bad karaoke - like he doesn't quite have the voice to carry it. With a different singer it might be okay. But it's falling flat for me at the moment. 

Norway - Margaret Berger

We're starting off with a seizure inducing light display. She's in a Pretty White Virginal Dress, but it's a bit badass-y with silver studs down the sides. She kind of sounds like she should be in Buffy, playing at the Bronze. I kind of like it. Although I want to brush her ratty looking fishtail braid... The song was pretty great in the end. 

Albania - Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko

Flames AND the smoke machine? We're off to a good start! It's more rock-based than your traditional Eurovision song. Mostly I'm just revelling in the Not Ballad-ness of it all! There's not enough head banging at Eurovision, if you ask me. A GUITAR THAT SHOOTS SPARKS. Excellent. I approve. 

Georgia - Nodi Tatishvili & Sophie Gelovani

The guy that wrote this wrote last year's winning song. Hmm. Interesting... The smoke machine is working overtime. Her dress looks like it was stolen from the Queen. I feel like this is one of those songs that grows on you. But right now, I'm not really feeling it. Although they've added a massive key change and a shower of sparks from the ceiling, so that definitely takes things up a couple of notches! Aaaaaaaand the wind machine's just picked up to blow her dress everywhere. 

Switzerland - Takasa

The old guy in the photo up there is NINETY FIVE. Awesomeness. There's a marching drum, a flying V guitar, a double bass, and a trombone. And it's a rock song. How can you not be on board with that?? Their female singer has awesome shoes. I want them. And the guitarist is pretty cute. But the song was kind of meh. They're a Salvation Army band, that pretty much tells you all you need to know! 

Romania - Cezar

Is it just me, or does he look like a Romanian version of Rupert Everett?? The smoke machine is working overtime. And his costume is HILARIOUS. He has an insane range though. He's currently singing contralto and HOLY HELL. He also has some guys doing a weird interpretive dance in front of him. Now he's rising up into the air and is singing higher than I can. Whut. FLAMES!! Awesome - it's kind of like watching Dracula sing falsetto. AMAZING.

Well. Malmo definitely kicked it up from last night! Which is something of a relief. Hurrah for less ballads!! 

Who's made it through to the finale? Let's find out!!!

1. Hungary
2. Azerbaijan
3. Georgia
4. Romania
5. Norway
6. Iceland
7. Armenia
8. Finland
9. Malta
10.  Greece

Are you watching the big finale tomorrow? Who would have your vote given the opportunity?? And - most importantly - are you hoping that ABBA turn up at some point??? 

K xx

The most wonderful time of the year

That's right, children. IT'S EUROVISION TIME!!!!

And you know what that means - it's time for three straight nights of me blogging my way through Europop, onstage costume changes (PLEASE let there be more than last year), and excessive use of wind machines. HURRAH.

Eurovision 2013 is coming to you from Malmo, Sweden. I'm kind of excited that they're starting with a "Lots of different countries cover last year's winning song", because that song is STILL near the top of my most commonly played songs in iTunes. Not sure about the children's choir singing it though...

Anyway. Let's get on with the show!! (All images taken from the country pages here.) If you didn't watch it, you can see all the songs here.

Austria - Natalia Kelly

Oh dear God, shiny silver jeans. They look really uncomfortable. Also, she looks terrifyingly like Melina Kanakaredes. The song is kind of blah. She's a good singer, it's just not a particularly memorable song. KEY CHANGE. Of course it coincided with a seizure-inducing lighting display. Aaaaaand some use of the wind machine to finish. Obviously.

Estonia - Birgit

I have no idea what this song is about, because it's in Estonian. But it's a ballad, so probably something sappy. Also, she's wearing an ENORMOUS white dress that makes her look like one of those cakes with a doll shoved in the top of it. And excessive use of the wind machine. Because it's practically obligatory. SMOKE MACHINE!!! And back up singers in snazzy three piece suits.

Slovenia - Hannah

Okay, apparently she's American but now lives in Slovenia. YES, CRAY CRAY DANCERS WEARING FACE MASKS. And leather pants, because you can't have one without the other. I'm actually kind of loving this song, despite its overpowering techno beat. The back up dancers are now doing weird push ups and squats. It's Gangnam Style combined with an aerobics class. Oooh, added acrobatics. Nice. It kind of makes Hannah fade into the background though.

Croatia - Klapa s mora

The Croatian version of Il Divo in the house! Singing a ballad, because OBVS. Their costumes are pretty awesome though - kind of like Napoleonic era naval uniforms, but with longer coats. The song is about what you'd expect from the Croatian version of Il Divo, although it seems pretty repetitive.

Denmark - Emmeline de Forest

Apparently this is the favourite. We're starting with a Ronan Keating lookalike playing the fife. And we have another Pretty White Virginal Dress. And bare feet. I guess it worked for Loreen last year? Oooh, and we're continuing the Napoleonic theme as Ronan and another guy are now playing the side drum. Emmeline herself looks kind of like a less ginger version of Isla Fisher. The song's pretty catchy, I can see why it's the favourite. And now we're alternating between the side drums and something resembling a timpani, but on its side?? AAAAAAAAAAAND IT'S RAINING FIRE. WELCOME TO EUROVISION.

Russia - Dina Garipova

I'm kind of sad that last year's grannies aren't performing again. Instead, we have the Russian winner of The Voice. Another ballad? What the hell, Eurovision? Bring back the cheesy Europop, dammit! She looks a little like she's wearing a dressing gown. That said, she's got a pretty good voice. And back up singers in all white, because OF COURSE. She looks bizarrely like Khloe Kardashian, though. Oh. Her male back up singers just threw huge glowing balls into the audience. Uhhhhhhh????

Ukraine - Zlata Ognevich

First of all, the butterfly in her hair in that picture is bizarre. ANOTHER ballad? Uuuuuuuuuuuugh. Also a man who's eight feet tall (literally) and dressed like Mel Gibson in Braveheart. WHAT. Her back up singers just appeared out of the floor, Hunger Games style. EXCESSIVE SMOKE MACHINE USAGE. At least they've pushed things up a notch by giving the ballad a decent beat? Yet another Pretty White Virginal Dress. Which is apparently so tight that the only movement she can make is to move her hips from side to side... Aaaand FIREWORKS to finish.

The Netherlands - Anouk

Apparently this girl is the Alanis Morrisette of the Netherlands. And now she's singing a ballad. Either she's REALLY pitchy or this song has insanely wacky key changes every two bars. I genuinely can't tell. And it's either the wind machine or the weight of all the mascara she's wearing, but she can barely keep her eyes open. Hmm. I'm not sure how I feel about this song. Too many ballads back to back has drained my spirit.

Montenegro - Who See

I...have no idea what is happening here. There are rapping astronauts, overuse of the smoke machine, and some kind of compressed air shots?? And seizure inducing strobe lights,. And a girl singing the chorus who looks like a robot version of Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. I can't even. Still, at least it's not a ballad?

Lithuania - Andrius Pojavis

Another ballad, but this time with a rock beat and a leather jacket. That's progress, I guess?? He's doing a lot of singing with his eyebrows, which is kind of hilarious. I want to like it, but it's kind of like average karaoke. GRATUITOUS ABS SHOT!! I don't even know what to make of the song because he's singing about being in love with someone, but then talks about his shoes. It's kind of like the first year they were allowed to sing in another language again, and they all ran their songs through Babelfish at the last minute and none of the translations made sense...

Belarus - Alyona Lanskaya

She just appeared out of a giant disco ball in a tiny fringed dress and HELLO EUROVISION. Her back up dancers are wearing all white or crazy fringed dresses and there are fireworks and smoke machine effects, and she seems like she's a quarter tone flat, and seriously, you guys. THIS is what Eurovision is all about. KEY CHAAAAAAAAAANGE. And FIRE BALLS. Sorry I'm so capsy, but there've been so many ballads tonight that it's a welcome change of awfulness. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Moldova - Aliona Moon

Back to the ballads again. This time with piano accompaniment and a glowing dress a la Carrie Underwood at the Grammys. Her hair is rather more insane though. She has the obligatory male back up dancer in all white AND the obligatory stage full of smoke machine effects. Um. She now appears to be lifting up into the air on some kind of pedastal that's hidden under her dress, which is crazy long, so she now looks like she's three metres tall. WEIRD. How the hell is she going to get down from there?!

Ireland - Ryan Dolan

I have to say, I'm kind of sad by the lack of Jedward this year. That said, three years in a row of Jedward would probably have been a little excessive... He DOES have back up dancers playing the bodhran in tight silver trousers though, so.........there's that?? He should probably also considering not plucking his eyebrows QUITE so much, because they're scaring me. It's upbeat, but kind of forgettable. Aaaaaand an explosion of sparks at the end.

Cyprus - Despina Olympiou

She appears to be wearing lingerie, which is a little awkward. Aaaaaand it's yet ANOTHER ballad because apparently Eurovision hates me this year. It's all very minimalist which, when it comes to Eurovision, is code for "totally forgettable". Sorry, Cyprus. You do not get douze pointes from me, regardless of how many key changes you add in. There was also a weird close up of her hand at the end. What.

Belgium - Roberto Bellarossa

Another one who's doing a lot of singing with his eyebrows. Why do you do this, people?? It's weird. His back up dancers appear to be feeling him up, which is a little awkward because he looks to be about twelve. He has his lyrics on a screen behind him, which is thoughtful because it's hard to hear him over the backing beat and the fact that I can't focus on anything but his insane eyebrows.

Serbia - Moje 3

I...have no idea what these girls are wearing (possibly cupcake wrappers??), but they have awesome 1940s hairdos, so they get bonus points for that! And I kind of want their awesomely coloured patent shoes. The song is typical Europop, which is an awesome change from the four million ballads we've sat through tonight. But it's not great.

Aaaaaaaand that's it for the performances for semi-final 1. Who's through to the finals? Let's find out!!

1. Moldova
2. Lithuania
3. Ireland
4. Estonia
5. Belarus
6. Denmark
7. Russia
8. Belgium
9. Ukraine
10.  The Netherlands

Did you watch it? Were you pleased with the results? Or were you, like me, disappointed by the TOTAL LACK OF ON STAGE COSTUME CHANGES?????

See you tomorrow night for semi-final 2!!

K xx

Bloggy friends are the bestest friends

Whoops. It appears that I've been slacking off on blogging about my trip to the US. You know, the one I went on in JANUARY... #fail

Previously, HOGWARTS.

The day after the great Hogwarts expedition of 2013, Lor and I headed out to meet Emmy at a Starbucks somewhere near downtown Orlando. The three of us had absolutely no idea what to do that day - we spent some time abusing the free wifi at Starbucks looking up non-theme park related things to do in Orlando, but didn't come to any decisions. In the end, our lack of decisiveness was getting ridiculous, and time was rapidly ticking past. There was only one solution - send a text message to Gina:

Me: Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaaa. We don't know what to do today...
Gina: *immediately sends four responses each filled with well thought out suggestions even though it's barely 7am*

ACTUAL BEST.

Anyway, we ended up going to Downtown Disney. We wandered around some of the Disney themed shops, then bought some fudge because OBVIOUSLY. Somewhere along the way, we stumbled across a shop that sold nothing but dinosaur related stuff. It's possible that I Kermit flailed when I discovered that they had plastic velociraptors. And so it came to pass that Clever Girl joined our intrepid trio:

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

We wandered through the Lego shop:

And then an enormous Disney Store, which included all kinds of complete insanity. We took advantage of the free wifi to tweet/Facebook a bunch of pictures:

Pregnant looking Ariel

Ho suspension Tink

Apparently in his spare time, Voldemort dresses up as Cinderella

After a while, we decided we were hungry, and that we should eat at the Rainforest Cafe because of reasons that now escape me. We ended up sitting at the bar on ridiculously high stools that had animal tails, which was kind of weird. On the plus side, RASPBERRY DAIQUIRI:

Yup. Lunch at the Rainforest Cafe requires booze.

After lunch, we wandered around some more, and then stumbled across a movie theatre. By a happy coincidence, a screening of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters was about to start. I'm pretty sure my realisation of that went something like this:

Me: OHMIGOD JEREMY RENNER CAN WE PLEASE GO AND SEE JEREMY RENNER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE??????
Emmy: I guess so?
Lor: Eh. Why not?
Me: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY OHMIGOD I HAVE TO EMAIL KIM SHE'LL BE SO JEALOUS.

Yup. That pretty much happened.

I can't speak for the others, but I thought the movie was awesome. And not just because of Jeremy Renner. Sooner or later, I'll rewatch it and probably do a Movie Monday post on it. Because of reasons.

After the movie, we still had an hour or two to spare before we had to be at Alice's for dinner, so we headed back to the hotel, watched the previous day's installment of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and then sat watching Maury for an hour because that's what happens when you ask me to find something to watch on American television.

We ended up leaving a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle later than we'd planned because.......well, we needed to know, dammit!

Yeah. That.

And of course then when we finally did get on the road and heading Alice's, there turned out to be a massive car accident on the freeway and instead of taking us like 20 minutes to get there, it took us the better part of an hour. Poor Alice, meanwhile, was slaving over a hot stove making us an incredible dinner as we texted her from the car, promising that we WERE in fact on our way. 

Eventually, we got there and had an amazing evening of good food, good company, a little cider, and so much giggling that Alice's neighbours probably thought we were bonkers. I also turned up with a bag of dirty laundry - literally - and was all "OH HAI, BLOGGY FRIEND. Thanks for cooking me dinner! Can I use your washing machine?" Yup. That happened. 

Several hours later, our stomachs hurt from laughing and it was getting stupidly late, so Lor and I headed back to the hotel with a couple of "Whoops, we ignored the GPS and are now going totally the wrong way" detours because we were too busy giggling about everything that had happened that day.

Next up, Disneyworld and everything that happened. 

K xx

Movie Monday: Little Miss Sunshine

It'd been forever since I saw today's movie. So after a weekend full of family functions, it seemed like a prime opportunity to take a little visit to a family even more dysfunctional than mine!

Reasons why Little Miss Sunshine is awesome:
1. Abigail Breslin. Holy crap, that kid is fantastic.
2. When the horn on the Kombi gets stuck.

3. It won two Oscars and deserved them both.
4. Steve Carrell. It's not his usual comic role, and he's pretty great.
5. Dwayne's emotional breakdown when he finds out that he can't get into the Air Force. It's brilliantly acted.

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6. Leaving Olive behind at the petrol station.
7. Greg Kinnear. His character's a total asshat for most of the movie, but he still manages to turn the character around by the end.
8. Stealing the grandfather's body from the hospital.

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9. Riding to Scottsdale on a moped.
10. Paul Dano. He's FANTASTIC, considering he spends most of the movie in total silence.
11. The awful rendition of America the Beautiful.
12. Olive practicing her surprised winner face.

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13. Alan Arkin. PERFECT.
14. Richard's face during the talent portion of the competition. Priceless.
15. Dwayne's "I hate EVERYONE" note.
16. Richard's awkward dance moves.

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17. Toni Collette. She's pretty great.
18. Tiger faces.
19. Dropping the grandfather out of the window.
20. Push starting the Kombi.

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21. Olive's routine. Hilariously awful.
22. Dwayne and Frank lasting two whole seconds in the talent section before running out.

Plus, the following quotes:
- "You don't speak because of Freidrich Nietzsche? ...Alright then."
- "Sarcasm is the refuge of losers." "Is it? Really??"
- "A real loser is someone so afraid of not winning that he doesn't even try."
- "Did I mention that I'm the preeminent Proust scholar in the US?"
- "You do what you love and fuck the rest."
- "Oh Jesus. God. I'm being pulled over. Here we go. Everybody just...act normal."
- "I apologise for the things I said. I was upset and I didn't really mean it."
- "Anything else?" "Yeah, is there a funeral home around here?"
- "Are you authorised to be backstage?" "No. *keeps walking*"
- "Is he here? Where's your grandpa right now?" "In the trunk of our car."
- "Can I get the, uh, waffles? And, um, what does "a la mode-y" mean?" "Oh that means it comes with ice cream!" "Okay. A la mode-y then."
- "I'm glad you're talking again, Dwayne. You're not nearly as stupid as you look."
- "He fell in love with another man, a colleague of mine; Larry Sugarman." "Who's Larry Sugarman?" "Probably the second highest regarded Proust scholar in the US." "Who's number 1?" "That would be me, Rich." "Really?"
- "I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it." "Do you know who Marcel Proust is?" "He's the guy you teach." "Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school - those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that."
- "Okay, you're out. On the condition that you never enter your daughter in a beauty pageant in the state of California, ever again. Ever." "I think we can live with that."

Have you seen it? Do you love it?

K xx

101 in 1001 #15

On Monday, I officially crossed something else off my Day Zero list - lose 5kgs. Although it's actually ended up being 5.3kg. That's just under 12lbs to you, America. 

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

It took me a terrifyingly long time to actually get around to making progress on this, and then another three and a half months to actually lose said weight. But still - I did it, with help from MyFitnessPal and a crapton of exercise! 

I would do before and after pictures, but it's 9pm and I'm lazy, so...yeah. 

In conclusion, this is what I should have done to celebrate:

Instead, I went "Huh. Cool." Slightly less exciting. And you're welcome for the dancing Jensen Ackles. 

K xx

Turning 30? It's pretty great - Part 2

So. I already told you about my actual birthday. But I didn't tell you about the rest of the extra long weekend of awesomeness because I was a dirty slacker at the end of last week (aka I spent every night playing Lego Batman on my shiny new XBox and totally forgot that I had other stuff to do. Whoops?). So I shall rectify that now!

FRIDAY:
Got up stupidly early and headed into the city to meet Nikki. There was a small degree of excited flailing before we jumped on the train and headed down to Flinders Street. From there, we took a wee jaunt across the river to the Eureka Tower. Once we'd laughed ourselves stupid at how ridiculous the "look through this tube to see the thing we're talking about" viewers were (half of them need to be updated as new buildings are now in the way, and one was for the tram restaurant. Which moves...), we headed over to Crown to marvel at the hideous atrium. Sadly, I didn't time our visit properly so we didn't get to see the fountains in action.

From there, we hopped on the City Circle and up to Melbourne Central for a spot of lunch, before heading across to the State Library to ogle the La Trobe Reading Room and visit the exhibitions. Then we headed up to the Royal Exhibition Building, down to Elizabeth Street and Minotaur, and then home via Royal Arcade. The evening was spent playing Lego Pirates of the Caribbean on XBox because we're cool like that.

SATURDAY:
A slow start, followed by heading off to see Iron Man 3. It was completely phenomenal, and it's possible I ate an entire box of Junior Mints during the course of the film... That night was my proper 30th, which took place at a Mexican restaurant in the city with 22 of my bestest friends. It turned out to be happy hour when we arrived, which was very welcome news. It also led to one of the whopping TWO photos taken that night:

Yup. That happened. Also, mmmmmmm, daiquiri...

Dinner was delicious nachos, followed by fajitas, followed by churros. Om nom nom nom nom. Dinner was an absolute blast, and it meant I got to catch up with a bunch of people I don't get to see very often. Which, WIN. And because I'm totally geriatric now, we were home by just after midnight.

SUNDAY:
The morning started with a jaunt around the Tan, which took longer than it usually would on account of Little Miss A was with us, and she wanted to stop for hot chocolate/biscuits/a wander around the children's garden. After a wee sojourn at home with Lego Pirates of the Caribbean (because we're cool), we headed into the MCG to see Hawthorn play North Melbourne. I'm pretty sure Nikki was HORRIBLY confused, but it was a pretty great game. It was much less of a walkover than I'd expected, for starters! It pretty much came down to the final siren, so that was fun. Plus, there was a very vocal Hawthorn supporter behind us who kept yelling her advice to the players every couple of minutes. Hilarious.

MONDAY:
Nikki's flight back to Sydney wasn't until 8.45pm, so we headed into the city and went to the Hollywood costume exhibition at ACMI. It was AMAZING - definitely worth the money it cost to get in. It included costumes from The Wizard of Oz, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Braveheart, The Dark Knight Rises, Gone with the Wind, Gladiator, The Addams Family Values, Fight Club, Brokeback Mountain, The Queen, and Pirates of the Caribbean. And not costumes from the extras or anything. Costumes from the main characters - costumes that you recognise in a split second.

Personally, I thought the sound spill in the exhibition space could have been better controlled, but it was still complete and utterly incredible. Although Nikki and I did nearly die laughing when we realised that the mannequin they'd put Mel Gibson's Braveheart costume on had lady legs. How could we tell? First of all, they were very shapely. Secondly, they were doing that weird pose that's meant to make your legs look thinner but which mostly makes you look like you need to pee. You know, the one that actresses do on the red carpet all the time. Basically, picture Taylor Swift's legs on Mel Gibson's body. Yeeeeeeeah... We even went back to all the other male mannequins with exposed legs to check if they had lady legs too. And NOPE. Just Mel.

Then we had a wee spot of lunch on Degraves Street and headed for home, where we spent our last few hours of pretending we didn't have a million assignments to do playing Lego Pirates of the Caribbean. Because OBVIOUSLY. We also learnt that it's possible to kill someone through a jail cell door in the game. When you're a dog. (Sorry, Nikki.......)

So there you have it. I think I planned and executed a kickass 30th birthday pretty damned well, don't you?!

K xx

Movie Monday: Some Like It Hot

A while back, I saw a post on Tumblr that consisted of a photo from this week's movie and a caption along the lines of "As if Marilyn Monroe couldn't get any cooler, here she is hanging out with drag queens!". And I was like "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll.........you're sort of right??"

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Anyway, I'm guessing that it's probably a movie that not a lot of people have seen, and that needs to be rectified immediately, because it's PHENOMENAL.

Reasons why Some Like It Hot is awesome:
1. It was made in 1959 and set in 1929, and yet features all manner of wibbly wobbly gender bendy cross-dressing craziness. Which not a single character bats an eyelid at.
2. Jack Lemmon. He's FANTASTIC. And has an Oscar nomination to prove it.

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3. Tony Curtis.
4. It was banned in Kansas. Anything banned in Kansas has to be worth watching!
5. Marilyn Monroe. It seems like she had a ton of issues going on when they were filming this, and she's still amazingly adorable.
6. The tango scene.

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7. The soundtrack.
8. Joe E. Brown as Osgood. Hilarious.
9. The ending. It's absolutely perfect.
10. Smuggling booze in coffins.

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11. Gangsters.
12. Tony Curtis impersonating Cary Grant. Perfection.
13. It's written and directed by Billy Wilder, who's also responsible for The Seven Year Itch, Sabrina and Sunset Boulevard.
14. Spats and fedoras.
15. Marilyn's ridiculous costumes.

Who thought a see-through dress with spangly nipples was a good idea?!
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16. Sleazy bellhops.
17. It was nominated for six Oscars, and won one.
18. Joan Shawlee as Sweet Sue.
19. Playing the double bass backwards due to distraction.
20. Jack Lemmon's girl laugh.

21. No one blinks an eye at the idea of same sex marriage. Seriously.

Plus, the following quotes:
- "Real diamonds! They must be worth their weight in gold!"
- "Hey, these are real diamonds!" "Of course they're real! What do you think? My fiance is a bum?"
- "What are you afraid of? No-one's asking you to have a baby!"
- "Story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop."
- "Will you look at that! Look how she moves! It's like Jell-O on springs."
- "Now you've done it! Now you have done it!" "Done what?" "You tore off one of my chests!"
- "But, you're *not* a girl! You're a *guy*, and, why would a guy wanna marry a guy?" "Security!"
- "We're up the creek and you want to hock the paddle!"
- "Something tells me the omelette is about to hit the fan!"
- "Ohhhhhhh no. Not tonight, Josephine!"
- "I don't want you to think I'm a drinker. I can stop any time I want to. Only I don't want to."
- "I'm a girl. I wish I were dead."
- "I am Osgood Fielding the third." "I'm Cinderella the second."
- "You shave with your spats on?" "I SLEEP with my spats on."
- "How DO they walk in these things?!"
- "I don't care how rich he is, as long as he has a yacht, his own private railroad car, and his own toothpaste."
- "It's not how long you wait, it's who you're waiting for."
- "What is it?" "It's a member of the herring family." "A herring? Isn't it amazing how they get those big fish into those little glass jars?" "They shrink when they're marinated."
- "This is my friend Daphne, she's a Vassar girl." "I'm a what?" "Or was it Bryn Mawr?" "I heard a very sad story about a girl that went to Bryn Mawr. She squealed on her roommate... and they found her strangled with her own brassiere!" "Yes, we've got to be very careful who we choose for a roommate..."
- "Well, nobody's perfect!"

So. Have you seen it? Do you love it?

K xx